Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

She planned her wedding for the week before my due date and is mad that none of us are coming

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm do with mine and my husband's third child on May 19th. My sister-in-law just sent us an invitation to her wedding on May 19th in California. We live in Florida. This means that I will either be 39 weeks pregnant or having newborn. My first two children were born at 38 weeks and 6 days and 39 weeks and 2 days. So odds are I will go into labor on the weekend of her wedding. My husband called her and said that sorry we won't be able to make the wedding because I'm going to be too far along at the time. She got upset and said that it's completely unfair of him to miss her wedding and she's his only sister and try to lay a guilt trip on him. He told her that if she wanted him at her wedding so badly she should not have scheduled it for the week before his wife was due. She said that he should just come on his own. He told her that he would not be doing that because there's a good chance that I will go into labor while he is fairly good chance that I will go into labor that weekend or close to it. He said he's not going to risk missing the birth or buy a plane ticket only for me to deliver right before the wedding and then he either has to cancel the flight losing money or leave his wife home with two young kids and a newborn. She kept going on about how it shouldn't be a big deal I'm a mother why can't I do it by myself. He said it's not the fact that I can't if I shouldn't have to. There's no reason for him to go. It would be one thing if it was a mandatory thing for work but it's not.

Now she's going around the whole family bad-mouthing me saying that my husband was pussy whipped and that I'm selfish and should tell him that he can go. I've never told him he can't go. Would I be upset if he went? Probably a little bit. But he made the decision on his own before he even spoke with me about it. The funny thing is just about everybody she spoken to who has kids is taking my side. It's only the single people who don't get it. I even had my husband's cousin who is a single guy call and say he doesn't get the big deal. It's our third kid it's not like it's our first or something. I told him if that's how he feels he shouldn't have any more than one children. If you are not as excited for your third as you were with your first you shouldn't be having your third
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2018 at 9:57 AM
Replies (31-40):
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:11 AM

My DD is getting married soon, And we all would be so disappointed if her brother (DS) couldn't be there. That's why SIL needs to re-think her date choice. JMO

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thank you. The way she says it you would think the wedding would be completely ruined without my husband there
Quoting happinessforyou:

Well for once, I'm completely on a posters side!!! Never thought that would happen. Congrats on new baby!!!! And I'm sure SIL's wedding will be wonderful.

by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:11 AM

She probably thought it was the perfect way to have her brother be there and not you. If she doesn;t have kids and doesn't care for you, she probably can't understand why it would be important for your husband to be there with you.

There is no sense in stressing over it. your husband will be with you and that's the end of it. It's also silly of her to put a damper on the excitment of her big day by dwelling on two guests who wo't be there. I'm sure her wedding will be just fine without your husband there. 

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:12 AM
I think it's more that she's just self-centered. She truly just didn't think about the fact that my husband would not be willing to travel while I was so close to my due date. I don't think it's something that she sat down and thought Oh this is going to cause trouble. I really just think that it didn't occur to her that her wedding wouldn't be my husband's priority

Quoting Anonymous 5: Well, she's either an idiot or a drama queen.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Oh yeah. She just picked the date a few weeks ago. When we got the invitation was the first time we even knew about the date. She was well aware of when my due date was. And that's fine she doesn't have to schedule her life around me but she can't really complain that her brother's not coming when she scheduled the wedding a week before his wife's due date

Quoting Anonymous 5: She scheduled it after she knew you were pregnant?
by Anonymous 12 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:12 AM
1 mom liked this
She could have scheduled it within the 6 weeks before the due date and still wouldnt been cleared to fly. Wedding could have been scheduled any time in May, June or July and there would still be the issue of OP home with 2 small kids and a newborn. Wedding date this spring/summer would have been a conflict anyway.

Quoting Anonymous 5: She scheduled it after she knew you were pregnant?
by Christina on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:12 AM
If it was close that would be one thing. I stood in a wedding around 38 weeks (almost 39... something like that).... but the wedding was also 20 minutes from us/the hospital. I don’t blame you for not going
by Anonymous 13 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:14 AM
Lol, if you send you a gift like cash or a GC make sure you pour some glitter in there so it’s a glitter bomb.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:15 AM
I actually agree with you. I don't think she was sitting down thinking what date would cause the most drama. I think that this date worked for her and the groom and then you and that's the date she picked. However knowing that it is so close to her sister-in-law's due date she doesn't get to be mad that her brother isn't coming. If it was that important to her for her brother to come she would have made sure it wasn't so close to my due date. I mean really she could have picked a month before my due date or a month after and he could have gone. I wouldn't have been able to go but he could have

Quoting sadness21:

I'm not trying to be a bitch but I don't think she did it to spite you, most of the time you book venues a year in advance. Either way, she is handling it poorly.  

by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:16 AM

That's too bad.  I'm sorry for your DH and your SIL that he can't attend her wedding, but it's not his fault.  I can understand her being upset about the situation.  But she is going to have to figure out a way to make it through the day without her brother present.  Hopefully her wedding will be distraction enough ;/

by Anonymous 14 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:16 AM
Gee, what did she expect? lol like come on. That's like my sister wanted to borrow our only vehicle the weekend I was being induced. Like I had to explain to her that we needed our vehicle because we were quite possibly having a baby any time.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:16 AM
I don't think she wants me there but I don't think she actively doesn't want me there. I just think that my due date wasn't a consideration at all. But you are right she definitely wants my brother there and with that being the case my due date should have been a consideration

Quoting Anonymous 7:

I don't know about that. If she wanted you to be there to share in her special day, she would've taken your due-date into consideration.  She wants her brother there - not you.  I've never seen such f'd up families as i do here on CM.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't really think that it's that she doesn't like me. I just think she's self-centered. I really believe that she thinks that because it's her wedding the entire world should revolve around her.

Quoting Anonymous 7:

She obviously doesn't like you.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)