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She planned her wedding for the week before my due date and is mad that none of us are coming

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm do with mine and my husband's third child on May 19th. My sister-in-law just sent us an invitation to her wedding on May 19th in California. We live in Florida. This means that I will either be 39 weeks pregnant or having newborn. My first two children were born at 38 weeks and 6 days and 39 weeks and 2 days. So odds are I will go into labor on the weekend of her wedding. My husband called her and said that sorry we won't be able to make the wedding because I'm going to be too far along at the time. She got upset and said that it's completely unfair of him to miss her wedding and she's his only sister and try to lay a guilt trip on him. He told her that if she wanted him at her wedding so badly she should not have scheduled it for the week before his wife was due. She said that he should just come on his own. He told her that he would not be doing that because there's a good chance that I will go into labor while he is fairly good chance that I will go into labor that weekend or close to it. He said he's not going to risk missing the birth or buy a plane ticket only for me to deliver right before the wedding and then he either has to cancel the flight losing money or leave his wife home with two young kids and a newborn. She kept going on about how it shouldn't be a big deal I'm a mother why can't I do it by myself. He said it's not the fact that I can't if I shouldn't have to. There's no reason for him to go. It would be one thing if it was a mandatory thing for work but it's not.

Now she's going around the whole family bad-mouthing me saying that my husband was pussy whipped and that I'm selfish and should tell him that he can go. I've never told him he can't go. Would I be upset if he went? Probably a little bit. But he made the decision on his own before he even spoke with me about it. The funny thing is just about everybody she spoken to who has kids is taking my side. It's only the single people who don't get it. I even had my husband's cousin who is a single guy call and say he doesn't get the big deal. It's our third kid it's not like it's our first or something. I told him if that's how he feels he shouldn't have any more than one children. If you are not as excited for your third as you were with your first you shouldn't be having your third
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2018 at 9:57 AM
Replies (91-100):
momofthem311
by on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this
How in the hell does she come off as a brat?? Did you even read the whole thing and understand it?
How is she not handling it with class, she’s fucking pregnant, about to pop, and has explained everything in pretty damn good detail. She even explained how her husband decided he wasn’t going before they even spoke about it together. Where exactly is the self centered bratty part?

Quoting Anonymous 3: And that’s absolutely valid. But you come off as a self centered brat in your post. You aren’t handling it with class.

There’s a way to be firm, and empathetic.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm not saying it's not an important event to her. It is. But it's not more important to my husband than the birth of our child and being there to help with both our new child and our older two

Quoting Anonymous 3: I get you’re pregnant and cranky and completely in the right, except for your attitude about it. Chill. There’s no reason to downplay your SILs wedding, it IS an important event.
mommy2boys03
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:11 PM
It can be done but it is costly. I know someone who is gettiing married in Chicago that got engaged in december. They had to book around the venue's avalibility. They didnt start planning until January.

Quoting Anonymous 24: I had to book my venue, band, and photographer more than a year in advance. I doubt she picked the date a few weeks ago.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Oh yeah. She just picked the date a few weeks ago. When we got the invitation was the first time we even knew about the date. She was well aware of when my due date was. And that's fine she doesn't have to schedule her life around me but she can't really complain that her brother's not coming when she scheduled the wedding a week before his wife's due date

Quoting Anonymous 5: She scheduled it after she knew you were pregnant?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 29 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:13 PM
Weddings are so overdone and overrated nowadays. The birth of a child is only like a million times more important that a party. I wouldn't feel even a tiny bit bad about none of us going.
mommy2boys03
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:14 PM
I just want to know why she has to get married so quickly. Your dh is mot wrong and he made hos own choice. Just ignore him. If family calls just say they need to talk to him. His decison had nothing to do with you.
fullxbusymom
by Sapphire Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:14 PM

I understand both sides of this one.  

jules2boys
by on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:16 PM

Yikes!  I bet.  And, March in Chicago, could be weather issues too flying from CA.  Costly for sure, unless it's something rather small I suppose.  

Quoting mommy2boys03: I have a family friend that is getting married in March in Chicago. They got engaged Christmas eve of 2017 and didn't start getting a venue until the begining og jan. It can be done but costly. He wants his brother to be his best man and his nephew to be ring bearer. Problem is the brother lives on CA and is havong a hard time getting time off for the wedding.
Quoting jules2boys:

Your timing doesn't work.  Your due date is May 19th.  Your SILs wedding is May 19th.  That's not a week apart, that's the same day.  

She's just now letting family know that the wedding is in 3 months?  Short notice, no?  Friends/acquaintances I can see not knowing for 2 - 3 months but family?  And in CA in May?  Surely it takes more time here to plan a wedding and find a venue than that (or it usually does).  

Oh, well.  Those that know (parents), know she's being ridiculous.  Those that don't (single people who are apparently some of the most clueless people around), don't matter anyway, or would no longer matter to me after this.  At least your DH isn't one of the more clueless people from that gene pool.  ;) 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 30 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:20 PM
My sister's was six weeks after ds was born. I can't remember if I announced first or they did. I just remember the timing. I'm sure they said if you can't come you can't. I don't understand these people being stupid about their wedding dates or why someone can't be there.

Quoting Anonymous 4:

Gosh this exact situation sure happens to an awful lot of people on this site...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 31 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:20 PM
It also depends if you are using a popular venue or vendors at all. My wedding date was picked in October, married the following June, but the venue was found and rented the night before. My outdoor plans were ruined to drizzle. Was going to be a farm wedding. But if you are using some big church or popular hall, you can get last minute stuff.

Quoting mommy2boys03: It can be done but it is costly. I know someone who is gettiing married in Chicago that got engaged in december. They had to book around the venue's avalibility. They didnt start planning until January.

Quoting Anonymous 24: I had to book my venue, band, and photographer more than a year in advance. I doubt she picked the date a few weeks ago.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Oh yeah. She just picked the date a few weeks ago. When we got the invitation was the first time we even knew about the date. She was well aware of when my due date was. And that's fine she doesn't have to schedule her life around me but she can't really complain that her brother's not coming when she scheduled the wedding a week before his wife's due date

Quoting Anonymous 5: She scheduled it after she knew you were pregnant?
PJMM
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:25 PM
I've seen family not speak to each other over the most ridiculous of things. I'm like really? But whatever.

Quoting Anonymous 25: I don't know if this is made up or not but people do behave this way. My fiance didn't attend his sister's wedding 2 years ago because I had emergency surgery after a car accident and he wasn't willing to leave me in the hospital alone. His sister hasn't spoken to him since.

Quoting haydsmom2007: I feel like this is made up. People don’t actually behave like that.
momofthem311
by on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:28 PM
1 mom liked this
When you are having a baby, there is no other side.
It would be different if she were just a few months along, or even 6-7 months and maybe feeling bad and didn’t want to go but her husband wanted to but that’s not the case. She’s about to pop and her SIL knew this. She’s has no right to be upset.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

I understand both sides of this one.  

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