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I'm sorry you are jealous but I'm not going to put up with your nonsense!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
With sil has a 4 month old baby. Her and her dh spent 9 years which included several miscarriages and a lot of expense of infertility treatments in order to have their son. They originally planned for her to be a stay-at-home mom until their child went to kindergarten. However because of how much that they had to go into for their fertility treatments and all the medical expensive she had from the pregnancy which was extremely high risk, she had to go back to work at 8 weeks post partum. I definitely understand why this is hard for her but she has been a real b**** to me lately. I think part of it is the fact that I get to be a stay-at-home mom with my five children, one of whom is a month younger than hers ( don't get me started on how pissed she was when she found out that I was also pregnant). The other part is that she asked if I would babysit her baby for free 3 days a week. She said if I could do that she would be able to avoid her $200 a week daycare cost and they could afford for her to work just 3 days a week instead of 5. I told her I couldn't do it. Like I said at that point I was about to have my fifth child and adding a 6 3 days a week two of them would be infants was just too much. And to do it for free, I just wasn't interested. So in her mind it's my fault that she has to work 5 days a week instead of 3.

She has started making nasty comments to me lately, both in person and on fb. She will post under comments and pictures of me doing fun stuff with my kids during the day with things like "must be nice to have nothing to do all day". The other day we were at my mother-in-law's house I was talking to my mother-in-law about stuff I was doing with the kids. All the sudden she blows up and says that I need to stop bragging and that I should be ashamed to myself. That I wouldn't even help her knowing that it would mean more time with her child after she spent nearly a decade trying to become a mother. She said now 5 days a week she comes home from work and only has like an hour with her baby before it's time for bed. So she doesn't want to hear about how I get to do stuff with my kids. She was yelling and calling all sorts of names. Finally I told my mother-in-law thank you for having us but we need to leave. I told my sister-in-law that I'm sorry she's clearly jealous of the life that I have but she needs to work that out on her own but I'm not going to be around her until she can get her jealousy under control.

We left. My husband hadn't even gotten there yet as he was coming straight from work. My mother-in-law called me saying that it's not fair for me to take the grandkids away that they were looking forward to spending time with them. I said I'm sorry but I'm not dealing with her nonsense. She called my husband complaining the same way he said the same thing. He said that until sister-in-law can get her jealousy under control don't expect us to be anywhere that she is. And when we host things she will not be invited
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:56 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:25 AM
Her sil needing a sitter isn't op problem

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Yeah, she should not be taking it out on you but basically you're saying you won't help out 3 days a week because you've decided to be a baby machine.  Your entire attitude is off putting and you don't look any better than your SIL at this point.

lukesmom2002
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:25 AM
3 out of 10
Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:28 AM
Op already has 5 kids one is an infant. That would be two infants . 6 kids two babies would be to much for a lot of people

Quoting Anonymous 9: You both sound jealous of each other..
I definitely feel bad for her.. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t watch your own nephew? I wouldn’t even hesitate! My family is super close and supportive.
notjstasocermom
by Sapphire Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:28 AM
1 mom liked this
Id cut SIL out of my life
hburnette3
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:34 AM
If the cost was putting them in a bad spot they should have found a surrogate or adopted.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:35 AM

Why can't MIL watch the baby?   Are you the only family in town?

My heart hurts for you SIL. Dealing with miscarriages and infertility treatments is emotionally taxing.  A finally having a healthy wonderful baby doesn't dismiss all of that anxiety and heartbreak. 

Having said that, it isn't fair that she is laying a guilt trip on you.   I personally wouldn't want someone with 5 kids including a newborn of their own to be watch my newborn.  Hopefully, she and her DH can figure something out financially so she can be home more, but that is on them, not you and DH.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:36 AM
why do you feel the need to insult me by calling me a baby machine simply because I had five children? I did not feel able to properly care for my 5 and her infant so I declined. Babysitting 3 days a week for 5 years or until that child goes to kindergarten is a far cry from helping out. Especially as I was expected to do it for free.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Yeah, she should not be taking it out on you but basically you're saying you won't help out 3 days a week because you've decided to be a baby machine.  Your entire attitude is off putting and you don't look any better than your SIL at this point.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:37 AM
1 mom liked this
I think the way OP is describing her SIL is awful.
She is not 1 bit compassionate to that womans situation.

Fertility issues are hard- yet this woman has no compassion for the financial or emotional drain put on her brothers family.

The idea that she couldnt find any time to help. Not offering an afternoon, not a morning, nothing so that her brothers family could get out from their financial burden or that a new mom could spend a few hours w/ her newborn.

As a SAHM I have a lot of sympathy for people who want kids and cant have them.
I have a lot of sympathy for those that struggle financially.
I have a lot of sympathy for moms who have to leave their neeborns to work.

Id ask IF the shoe was on the other foot, how would OP be?
Cause she sounds rude and heartless.

Quoting Anonymous 7:

What is awful about OP setting a clear and healthy boundary on her time with her sister in law? She has FIVE children and one is just a few months old!! That's certainly enough to keep anyone busy, I know I would have a tough time juggling all of that!

Quoting Anonymous 3: You both sound awful but I feel badly for her.

ZamilyMom
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:38 AM
This doesn't make sense. If SIL works 3 days or 5 days a week, would she not be paying the same amount per day? How could she need to work 5 days a week and pay childcare 5 days a week, but could not work 3 days a week and pay childcare for only 3 days a week?

P.S. How old are your children?
iamme1986
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Yea she should have figured this out while she was pregnant still. It's not like she didn't know she would need a babysitter at some point.
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