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I can't take it anymore!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

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Do you see that crap? Ugh, I can't do it anymore. My husband is a packrat. He has boxes of crap, weights and other workout stuff...just random stuff EVERYWHERE. I have asked him so many times to go through the stuff and get rid of it. I seriously can't take it anymore. He yells at the kids for going in "his area" which is any area that his stuff is occupying...which is EVERYWHERE! I grew up with a packrat. I can't continue. It wasn't bad when we first married but over the last 7 years it just keeps piling up and I'm at my wits end. It has gotten to the point that I frequently get rid of my own stuff (and the children's) just so I don't feel so boxed in. Please give me some advice. I seriously don't know what to do at this point.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:24 AM
Replies (21-27):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:42 AM

if he won't toss it  take control and toss it yourself
if he gets pissed too fuckin bad

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:44 AM
I would explain to him that his possessions are negatively impacting the family and that he cannot take over the common areas. I would give him a place for his junk and time to go through it all, you have to be in the right mentality when really purging stuff. He has to be the one going through his own things.

Last month we got rid of 10,000 items throughout the house... I set it as a goal for our family and I worked my way through the common areas and my stuff, and the kids chipped in with their rooms. I didn't get rid of anything of theirs without their permission. My husband (who is the messiest in our house) caught on to the excitement and started cleaning out a few of his spaces. The kids were really excited about meeting our goal and he felt really happy to contribute to the progress. Is his stuff all cleaned up and organized? No. But it's better than it was and he is more aware of what he's got.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:54 AM
He actually does have the same thought process as all those people on the Hoarders show. It's a mental issue,actually. My mother is the same way. A few months ago she was hospitalized with a joint infection for two weeks and my dad took the opportunity to clean. She was absolutely devestated to come home and find her things gone. She couldn't even make a list of the things she was missing,
but it was gone and that made her crazy. You know what she's done since then? Bought crap she doesn't need. Her room is right back where it was, piled to the ceiling with crap. You don't just clean once and Bam, you're fine. He'll keep acquiring things.
Quoting Anonymous 1: He would have a conniption fit if I threw any of his stuff away. Down stairs is like an open floor plan. He takes up about half of the dining area with his stuff. There's more areas where he has random stuff stored that is in the main living areas (downstairs) but I didn't want to overwhelm the post with pictures.

I don't fight with him over it. I try to be understanding and all of that and just discuss how it's a safety hazard, it's ugly, it makes me feel trapped...everything. It does no good. He insists he can't get rid of anything because he might have a use for it at some point. It's like, you can't hold onto something because you MIGHT use it in 10 years.

Quoting Nice_Dragon: Get rid of some of it.
There is no room or garage the other stuff can go in?
Is that stuff in the main living area?
I wouldn’t want to look at all that all the time.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:58 AM

I'd have been throwing shit out long before now.  You need to have a talk with him and his behavior changes or you start getting rid of that junk.

PinkButterfly66
by Diamond Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:08 PM

Give him a deadline of going through it and tell him after the deadline you will have it all hauled away to the dump.  There are companies that will come haul away shit for you for a fee. 

PinkButterfly66
by Diamond Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:10 PM

Tell him to rent a storage unit then and get it out of the apartment.

Quoting Anonymous 1: He would have a conniption fit if I threw any of his stuff away. Down stairs is like an open floor plan. He takes up about half of the dining area with his stuff. There's more areas where he has random stuff stored that is in the main living areas (downstairs) but I didn't want to overwhelm the post with pictures. I don't fight with him over it. I try to be understanding and all of that and just discuss how it's a safety hazard, it's ugly, it makes me feel trapped...everything. It does no good. He insists he can't get rid of anything because he might have a use for it at some point. It's like, you can't hold onto something because you MIGHT use it in 10 years.
Quoting Nice_Dragon: Get rid of some of it. There is no room or garage the other stuff can go in? Is that stuff in the main living area? I wouldn’t want to look at all that all the time.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 1:37 PM
Quoting Anonymous 1: He would have a conniption fit if I threw any of his stuff away. Down stairs is like an open floor plan. He takes up about half of the dining area with his stuff. There's more areas where he has random stuff stored that is in the main living areas (downstairs) but I didn't want to overwhelm the post with pictures.

I don't fight with him over it. I try to be understanding and all of that and just discuss how it's a safety hazard, it's ugly, it makes me feel trapped...everything. It does no good. He insists he can't get rid of anything because he might have a use for it at some point. It's like, you can't hold onto something because you MIGHT use it in 10 years.

Quoting Nice_Dragon: Get rid of some of it.
There is no room or garage the other stuff can go in?
Is that stuff in the main living area?

I wouldn’t want to look at all that all the time.


Then tell him he needs to rent a storage unit.
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