Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why are SAHM'S shunned?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Seriously, why is it wrong to want this type of life?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2018 at 2:25 PM
Replies (141-150):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 27 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 4:45 PM
Laughing is not getting worked up. I am humored by this woman. :)

I use my teaching degree with my own children every day. Some women use nursing degrees, business degrees, and other degrees in their own homes. Being a SAHM does not mean you are wasting a degree. Degrees are also something to fall back on if income is needed later.

As far as being home when kids are in school, many women do that for great reasons as well. Some want to be available for before and after school, summer breaks, snow days; etc. Others want to be available for special needs children that may suddenly need to come home. Still others have younger children at home, elderly relatives to care for during the day, volunteer work, their own health problems; etc.

I am surprised you know women that stay home in PJ’s all day for no particular reason, except to waste their time. I know plenty of SAHMs, and none of them just sit around wasting time trying to miss out on an interesting world.

It’s not that hard to understand that most SAHMs are not just wasting time. That is why women with that view surprise me.

Quoting Anonymous 31:

No reason t get so wound up.   Providing child care for other children inyour home is a job/career.  You have to get a license, have cpr/first aid training, pay taxes, have contracts, etc....   With your own kids, you can do whatever you want, when you want...that isn't the same for in home child care providers.

Anon 9 is just saying she doesn't understand any person, woman or man, who is content to be at home doing nothing all day while the kids are in school.    I know many SAHM who never get out of their PJs all day, who watch Tv or surf the next until their kids come home.  Honestly, what type of life is that?  There is an amazing interesting world out there. She just doestn' get those people who don't want to be engaged in the world outside of their home.  It isn't that hard to understand.

Quoting Anonymous 27: Lol! So they are �¢ï¿½ï¿½work at home Mom�¢ï¿½ï¿½s�¢ï¿½ï¿½, because they care for other people�¢ï¿½ï¿½s kids. Caring for just their own kids makes them people who do not work, because you don�¢ï¿½ï¿½t consider that working. That is funny that you think there is a difference between caring for other people�¢ï¿½ï¿½s kids and caring for your own, as far as, one being work and one not work. There is no logic in your thinking.







As far as lazy SAHMs, there are also lazy working Moms. Some jobs away from home are not that hard, and some people do not do their jobs away from home well. Why not disrespect all lazy people instead of making the distinction that you judge lazy SAHMs?







Quoting Anonymous 9:

There is a difference between a SAHM and a WAHM.  I use a WAHM for my childcare.  And no, I do not judge her.  Nor do I judge every SAHM.  I judge the lazy SAHMs.

Quoting Anonymous 27: Do you look down on the people who provide �¢ï¿½ï¿½loving homes�¢ï¿½ï¿½ for your kids while you are at work? If not, why are you judging people the take care of their own kids in loving homes both day and night?







Quoting Anonymous 9:

A manage a laboratory for a large volume pharmaceutical company.  And I do it well.  But I also chose to educate myself prior to having my 3 children.  Based on my income, I was able to spend time with them after they were born and they moved in to loving homes during the day while I am working.

Quoting Anonymous 22: What do you do for a career?







Quoting Anonymous 9:

In my opinion, I feel like they are wasting their lives.  Especially when they're sitting at home after their kids are in school.  Wouldn't you want better for yourself than to just be a housekeeper, cooker, and taxi driver?  I do.  And that's why I work.  Because I have made something of myself.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Staying home is the norm in my small town. Shute even when the kids are gone the women still stay home, do whatever they want. However I see it all the time here, like women are wasting their lives by being a sahm.

Quoting Anonymous 5: This is the only place where it's an issue. Both of our families were proud that I wanted to stay home. Staying at home is the norm in my area.

Chrissy_Lynn
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 4:59 PM

Nothing is wrong with it but for me I could never do it. For one I like to be independent , I want to be able to buy myself and my kids things and not have to go to someone else for it.

When we all get married we think and hope it will work but that is not always the case. What happens when 10 years and 3 kids later you have zero work experience and your husband decides he wants a divorce? Your up shit creek. Yeah you can request alimony and child support but depending on his income you may get very little , not enough to support yourself and for some they do not even pay. My friend got divorced about 2 years back and was granted alimony and child support, she has not seen a dime. 


sweetfox3
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 5:32 PM
So, so much revolves around the assumption that a parent (usually mom) stays home/ is available to drop everything at a moment's notice.

Quoting PacMan80: This site is the only place sahm's are shunned. There are many, many sahm's in my city.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 34 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 5:42 PM
The people doing the shunning of moms that chose a different lifestyle just come off as insecure of their own parenting abilities.
lowencope
by on Feb. 9, 2018 at 6:51 PM
Thanks! There’s always a gray area!

Quoting Anonymous 30:

BEST RESPONSE I'VE READ SO FAR!!!  Open-minded, candid, and polite.  :)

Quoting lowencope: There are more SAHMs on this website than working moms from what I can tell. Any mention of the benefits of financial planning or not depending on someone else, and they jump all over you. Lol. Many claim to have money or wealth independently of their husbands, so I guess there’s nothing to worry about.

With that being said, I have no issue with a SAHM. I didn’t work the first ten months of my first sons life but we needed the money so I went back to work. With my second son I only worked weekends so he never went to daycare until he was three. I think when kids are little it’s beneficial if you can’t work at the daycare or work opposite schedules. Once they’re school aged, I see less of a benefit and quality of life out of it but who am I to say? My neighbor is a stay at home mom and she’s helped me with my kids a lot! So idk what I’d do without the stay at homes in my life lol. I’m a work at home mom now so I get the best of both worlds and my kids don’t need babysitting anymore so the days I do go into the office, they just hang out till I get home.

It’s like anything... moderation is key. I’ve done a little of both and now I have a happy medium. Once your kids are school aged and you choose not to work, volunteer, be in the pta, or something... I would just find that boring and unfullfillong if I were you. But to each his own. Tra-la-la

Anonymous
by Anonymous 35 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 6:55 PM
Only on here
corticosteroid
by on Feb. 9, 2018 at 6:56 PM

Where are all these people doing all this shunning?

franciaanya
by on Feb. 9, 2018 at 7:10 PM

What she said. A lot of them like to act as if they're better because they stay at home while shunning those who choose (or don't choose) to work. Goes both ways. 

Quoting Fat.Bottom.Girl: Shit flies both ways.


PacMan80
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 7:14 PM

And that's the wrong assumption for sure.  I have 3 kids and am on the go constantly.  

Quoting sweetfox3: So, so much revolves around the assumption that a parent (usually mom) stays home/ is available to drop everything at a moment's notice.
Quoting PacMan80: This site is the only place sahm's are shunned. There are many, many sahm's in my city.


alexmom529
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 7:16 PM
Because they pull the matyr act like they do it all. Yeah try doing it all and working 40 hours a week. Because if their husband leaves them they are left with nothing.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)