Custody question

[Anonymous]

How many of your 39 days of your half of summer vacation would you be willing to give up every year for the rest of time with your kids in return for, every year for the rest of time, getting every New Year's Eve/Day, Valentine's Day, birthday, Easter Weekend, Memorial Day Weekend, Mother's Day Weekend (which you'd already had), Labor Day Weekend, Halloween, Thanksgiving Weekend, and Christmas Eve/Day? Kids' ages are 3 and 6.

[Anonymous 2]

What is all this back and forth worth to you?

You want every holiday and then picking and choosing on summer vac?

[Anonymous 3]

Personally, I'd be willing to give him almost the whole summer, minus maybe the first and last week for some  transition time, if it meant not having to figure out logistics on major holidays.  

That said, I'd probably still make sure that he had time with them at Christmas, etc.  But it would at least give me some flexibility in planning, so I wasn't locked in to "Dad gets them at exactly 2:00 on Christmas Day".  

Of course you do need to consider things like what does Dad's work schedule look like over the summer, and what do the kids want?  Can he take time off tomactually do things with them?  Or are the going to be sitting at home while he works 60 hours a week?  And how does that differ from what their summer looks like at your house?  And do they have summer camps, practices, etc., not just now, but as they get older, and will they be able to still do those things?

[MrsDavidB25]

Do people really put days like Valentine's in their custody agreement??

[Jaylyn82]

Sadly yes. My ex wanted every holiday and day off of school mapped out. Too bad he doesnt follow it. I have my son most of the time. Which I am 100% ok with.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

Do people really put days like Valentine's in their custody agreement??

[Anonymous 4]

how far does dad live?

why would you only give him summer?

thank god my xh and i can co-parent.

he gets as much time as he wants with the kids, we always do everyother holiday except for Christmas (he gets Christmas Eve and I always get Christmas day, but thats because his family celebrates Eve, and mine day)

also if Halloween falls on his weekend (he brings them home so they can trick or treat with their friends) 

[Anonymous 5]

I wouldn't, but only because my girls don't want to see their dad as it is. They are struggling coming to terms with the facts that we have to alternate weeks during the summer. They don't want to go at all.

The holiday is only a few days.

[Anonymous 1 - Original Poster]

He is offering every non-summer holiday in return for getting more summer vacation (hopefully all of summer vacation if I'd agree to it). I would not get to pick and choose for summer vacation. I'd be giving it up, for sure, if I agreed to this.

Quoting Anonymous 2: What is all this back and forth worth to you?

You want every holiday and then picking and choosing on summer vac?

[WickedPissah]

Do what makes sense for the kids not the adults.

[Anonymous 1 - Original Poster]

He's offering. There are schools around here that do a midwinter break during the Valentine's Day/President's Day timeframe, so this could be "valuable" depending on their school calendar in the future. Like my 6 year old does not have school until next Monday for the break.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

Do people really put days like Valentine's in their custody agreement??

[Anonymous 1 - Original Poster]

I have no idea what will come from the next 15 years. So far, while we've been separated, he's done more fun things with them then me. He may want to move in the future, and having most of his time in one block of the summer would give him more flexibility.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

Personally, I'd be willing to give him almost the whole summer, minus maybe the first and last week for some  transition time, if it meant not having to figure out logistics on major holidays.  

That said, I'd probably still make sure that he had time with them at Christmas, etc.  But it would at least give me some flexibility in planning, so I wasn't locked in to "Dad gets them at exactly 2:00 on Christmas Day".  

Of course you do need to consider things like what does Dad's work schedule look like over the summer, and what do the kids want?  Can he take time off tomactually do things with them?  Or are the going to be sitting at home while he works 60 hours a week?  And how does that differ from what their summer looks like at your house?  And do they have summer camps, practices, etc., not just now, but as they get older, and will they be able to still do those things?