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This is not a contest.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 195 Replies
SD is driving me nuts with this crap. She spends all day trying to prove she is MORE than I am, that she is his "favorite". It is ridiculous.

He tells her all the time this isn't a competition. I'm his favorite Anna". She is his favorite "Lindsay". Our daughter together is his favorite "Sara". That we are all very special to him in our own way and loving me doesn't take away from his love for her and Sara...and vice versa.

But that isn't good enough for her. She is forever trying to get him to say he loves her more than anyone else and she isn't satisfied when he won't say it. He tells her all the time she is special to him and has her very own place in his life and heart that no one else can touch but that isn't good enough for her. When he says that, she immediately starts in - it's a bigger place than Anna's right? Bigger than Sara's right? And when he won't say that it is, she gets teary and shuts down.

She is 12, btw, and she lives with us full time. Her mother lives across the country and travels a lot for work so she only sees her a few times a year. Our daughter Sara is 3 months old. We have been married for 3 years but lived together 2 years prior to that. He and his ex have been divorced for almost 7 years. He has had custody of sd since the divorce because of his ex's job. They divorced because her job was relocating her to a different state and dh didn't want to uproot his job and entire life to follow her job, he wanted her to consider changing jobs and she refused.



Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:39 PM
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CaliBear8405
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:40 PM
Do you do lots of things as a family??? I remember myself at that age and I was so insecure in my own skin. Plus starting to figure myself out as in who I wanted to be. Throw in a half sibling and step mom and that's a lot.
Maybe go on dates just the 2 of you and help build up her self esteem and relationship with you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:42 PM
We are very family oriented. I only work a couple of days a week and dh is off work by 4 every day. We spend most evenings and weekends as a family. He and I do take a date night every other Friday night, but otherwise we are pretty much always together, all of us.

Quoting CaliBear8405: Do you do lots of things as a family??? I remember myself at that age and I was so insecure in my own skin. Plus starting to figure myself out as in who I wanted to be. Throw in a half sibling and step mom and that's a lot.
Maybe go on dates just the 2 of you and help build up her self esteem and relationship with you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:43 PM
Well he needs to make her feel special. You and your dd are only sloppy seconds.
CaliBear8405
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:44 PM
1 mom liked this
That's great. I'm gonna go back to just doing things just you and her. Not all of the time, but you get the picture. It really sounds like she's insecure. Poor thing. Especially since she doesn't really have her mom. She wants to hold on to daddy.

Quoting Anonymous 1: We are very family oriented. I only work a couple of days a week and dh is off work by 4 every day. We spend most evenings and weekends as a family. He and I do take a date night every other Friday night, but otherwise we are pretty much always together, all of us.

Quoting CaliBear8405: Do you do lots of things as a family??? I remember myself at that age and I was so insecure in my own skin. Plus starting to figure myself out as in who I wanted to be. Throw in a half sibling and step mom and that's a lot.
Maybe go on dates just the 2 of you and help build up her self esteem and relationship with you.
mmm2015
by Eldouchedegrande on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:45 PM
2 moms liked this
she sounds insecure maybe a therapist to help her since you two cant seem to
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:45 PM
5 moms liked this
That is such an asshole thing to say. Unless your husband never had a girlfriend before you then every single person is someone's "sloppy seconds". I'm not even going to address you calling OUR daughter that. Yes, SD is special. So am I. So is our daughter. So is he.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Well he needs to make her feel special. You and your dd are only sloppy seconds.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:46 PM
We aren't big believers in therapy. Why do you assume we can't help her?

Quoting mmm2015: she sounds insecure maybe a therapist to help her since you two cant seem to
DirtyPrincess
by Ruby Member on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol lame. Grow up!

Quoting Anonymous 2: Well he needs to make her feel special. You and your dd are only sloppy seconds.
mmm2015
by Eldouchedegrande on Feb. 22, 2018 at 12:47 PM
4 moms liked this
because ur on here saying you cant

so not big fans...okay well then i hope things change. sounds like she's an unhappy little girl

Quoting Anonymous 1: We aren't big believers in therapy. Why do you assume we can't help her?

Quoting mmm2015: she sounds insecure maybe a therapist to help her since you two cant seem to
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