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When SM is "embarrassing"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 279 Replies
Now, let me say right away I don't dislike my kids' stepmom and I know that she has every right to be who she is.

That said, my teenage daughter is really struggling with her right now. Dd is extremely embarrassed by her. Both myself and my exh are fairly serious people, professional people. SM is the exact opposite.

She is a cery creative, artistic type. She wears "young", flashy clothes, colorful and bold make up...she is also kind of loud, very outgoing and animated...my son who is 12 thinks she is a lot of fun, but my dd14 is really embarrassed lately to even be seen with her. My daughter is fairly shy and has a more serious, reserved personality. She feels like SM is always deawing attention to them and ahe hates it.

How do I handle this? I realize SM is not going to change her personality nor should she have to. But my daughter is really struggling with this lately and it starting to affect their relationship Nd her relationship woth her father by extension.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lily99300
by Ruby Member on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:21 PM
19 moms liked this

Seriously?  You're actually contemplating speaking to the SM because your 14 year old can't deal with her clothes and personality?  How ridiculous.  This is your DD's problem.  Not SM's.  Tell your kid to stop being so judgemental for starters.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:22 PM
10 moms liked this
She has to learn to coexist with different personality types.

She's just at that age where the slightest thing will embarrass her, so I'd tell her to just try and be tolerant.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:22 PM
3 moms liked this
Tell her to get over it. People are who they are.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this
I think there needs to be some sort of balance. I realize my daughter is not 100% in the right here. But I also thibk SM could be a bit more considerate of her feelings as well.

Quoting lily99300:

Seriously?  You're actually contemplating speaking to the SM because your 14 year old can't deal with her clothes and personality?  How ridiculous.  This is your DD's problem.  Not SM's.  Tell your kid to stop being so judgemental for starters.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:23 PM
Your daughter is going to be around many people in her life of all shapes, colors, creeds, orientations, and personalities. She's not going to agree with everyone, its better to learn now how to cope with those situations.
corticosteroid
by on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:24 PM
5 moms liked this

Stepdaughter talks to Stepmom about Problem.

Mom, encourage Daughter to talk to Stepmom about Problem.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:24 PM

This. My parents weren't even really that embarrassing now that I look back on it but when I was 14 yet I didn't want them at any of my swim meets or anything, lol. 

Quoting Anonymous 2: She has to learn to coexist with different personality types. She's just at that age where the slightest thing will embarrass her, so I'd tell her to just try and be tolerant.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:24 PM
5 moms liked this
Yeah...no...

Sm isn't hurting her. This is your dd's issue, no one else's.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I think there needs to be some sort of balance. I realize my daughter is not 100% in the right here. But I also thibk SM could be a bit more considerate of her feelings as well.

Quoting lily99300:

Seriously?  You're actually contemplating speaking to the SM because your 14 year old can't deal with her clothes and personality?  How ridiculous.  This is your DD's problem.  Not SM's.  Tell your kid to stop being so judgemental for starters.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:24 PM

Since your ex's wife won't stop doing everything she can to get attention, which is exactly what she's doing, the chips are going to fall where they fall with your daughter's relationship with her father and his wife.  People are going to be who they are and that's ok and all but when it's annoying and/or embarrassing to those around them, it's too much to deal with.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 14, 2018 at 12:25 PM

Have her sit down with your exhusband and explain how she feels extremely embarrassed by SM.

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