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Im going to go crazy if she comes here

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 106 Replies
2 moms liked this
My mother is a narcissist and she has cancer. I broke my back for her for years . Cancer has not changed her. She is evil and mean. The other day she wrote me on facebook saying my kids are hippos and hogs and that I'm ugly as hell and too black. I'm used to her abuse so it didn't phase me.

She has to start radiation therapy here in NYC where I live. I went to her consolation today because I KNEW my family would pawn her off to stay with me since I'm the only person that lives in NYC where her doctor is. I get to the appointment she's limping and in pain etc. They said treatment will only be 5 days I caved and said fine she can stay with me since its only a week.

She gets to my house afterwards and immediately starts berating me about my home and I told her my apartment has thin walls lower her voice.. She increased her voice to continue to humiliate me. Than I get wind of some stressful information and she finds glee in my anxiety and pain... She played on it and told me I'm going to get beat up etc.Im standing there clearly upset and she is just running her mouth and laughing.

I have struggled with bulimia and depression since I was 12. I have been binging and purging daily everyday and I stopped binging 3 days ago. I was feeling better.. More accomplished.. I felt I was stronger...

After my mother's visit today I felt such an overwhelming urge to binge and purge.. It was soooo hard to not binge and purge. I feel if she comes I'll slip back in my old habits .

She tries to tear me down every way she can. I'm beginning to lose sympathy for her having cancer. I'm now stuck choosing between accommodating may cancer ridden mother or saying no to preserve my own mental health. Either way is a lose lose for me... My family will hate me if i say no... If I say yes she will have me hating myself more when I'm trying to get better...

I can't even sleep.. My anxiety is sky high.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2018 at 4:45 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 17, 2018 at 4:48 AM
25 moms liked this
Dude. I get that it’s a tough decision, but no way in hell should she stay with you. You deserve so much better. If your family hates you, screw them. You need to preserve your mental health. And congratulations on not purging, that’s amazing!
LovingThisLifex
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2018 at 4:49 AM
Cut her out of your life and never look back. She doesn't even deserve an explaination, just cut your losses.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2018 at 4:51 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm ashamed that today for the first time I thought that she's getting exactly what she deserves. I'm begining to actually hate my mother.

She has a really painful cancer. I'm on the verge of being checked out mentally.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2018 at 4:52 AM
Thank you. I am super proud of myself for not binging for 3 days after so many years of doing it every day. I felt so strong until her visit today. I just wanted to eat everything in sight.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Dude. I get that it’s a tough decision, but no way in hell should she stay with you. You deserve so much better. If your family hates you, screw them. You need to preserve your mental health. And congratulations on not purging, that’s amazing!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2018 at 4:57 AM
Im on the verge of doing exactly that. I never wanted to do this considering that she has cancer but I just can't take anymore. I really can't.

Quoting LovingThisLifex: Cut her out of your life and never look back. She doesn't even deserve an explaination, just cut your losses.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 17, 2018 at 4:58 AM
1 mom liked this
You should be proud, you’re making great strides! Therapy might help if that’s an option. You are strong, you can beat this. If it helps at all, some random stranger believes in you :)

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thank you. I am super proud of myself for not binging for 3 days after so many years of doing it every day. I felt so strong until her visit today. I just wanted to eat everything in sight.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Dude. I get that it’s a tough decision, but no way in hell should she stay with you. You deserve so much better. If your family hates you, screw them. You need to preserve your mental health. And congratulations on not purging, that’s amazing!
Idkmyscreenname
by Platinum Member on Mar. 17, 2018 at 5:08 AM
2 moms liked this
My mother and your mother are cut from the same cloth.

My mother ruined every holiday, birthday. She would teeter between going above and beyond for me, to insanely abusive.

She got cancer when I was 27, died when I was 28. I had already cut her out of my life prior to her death. Her death, set me free! I would not be the strong, independent, successful woman I am, if she were still in my life.

Cut your mother free!

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm ashamed that today for the first time I thought that she's getting exactly what she deserves. I'm begining to actually hate my mother.

She has a really painful cancer. I'm on the verge of being checked out mentally.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 17, 2018 at 5:09 AM
You Mother needs to be cut out of your life forever. I haven’t spoken to my toxic Mother in nearly a year and have ZERO interest in ever speaking to her again. I’m done with her emotional abuse. Like you, the anxiety and depression she caused also caused my binging and purging tendencies.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 17, 2018 at 5:32 AM
3 moms liked this

Make that TWO randol strangers!

I'd like to second the therapy suggestion - it could help you enormously.

You are a strong woman probably the strongest woman you know. Hold your head up and take a deep breath and don't let any of this drive you back to bingeing and purging... yoiu've come too far and struggled too much for that. 

Life is short and you only get one shot at it. Tell your mother to shut it or she's out the door right this minute. She's your mother but that doesn't give he the right to treat you worse than I'd treat a dog. If your family doesn't understand that then cut them out too - they obviously weren't worth your time. 

Set your priorities and stick to them. We're rooting for you! 

Quoting Anonymous 2: You should be proud, you’re making great strides! Therapy might help if that’s an option. You are strong, you can beat this. If it helps at all, some random stranger believes in you :)
Quoting Anonymous 1: Thank you. I am super proud of myself for not binging for 3 days after so many years of doing it every day. I felt so strong until her visit today. I just wanted to eat everything in sight.
Quoting Anonymous 2: Dude. I get that it’s a tough decision, but no way in hell should she stay with you. You deserve so much better. If your family hates you, screw them. You need to preserve your mental health. And congratulations on not purging, that’s amazing!


mel4him
by Gold Member on Mar. 17, 2018 at 5:48 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry about your mom. I can understand why you want to help her but maybe it is best for your own well being if you let someone else take over. Separate yourself from her and take care of yourself. Try not to hate her. Just remember, she wasn't born this way. Something must of happened in her past that resulted in who she has become. I'm thinking that her actions are nothing more than a cover for what is really going on inside her. Be strong. Tell her how you feel and if she doesn't like it show her to the door.


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