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I can't tell the difference

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 81 Replies

Where is the line between entitled brat breakdown/tantrum and autistic spectrum reaction?

I don't know the family, I don't know the situation.  I was helping with child care during a funeral and a girl pitched a huge fit, throwing things, saying she wishes she were dead, being aggressive, etc.  She tried to hurt me, but I've got a little training in blocking/avoiding strikes and being a barrier instead of restraints (blocking instead of holding) and staying calm - that last was the most helpful.  I isolated her, talked her down a bit but she ramped up again as soon as a family member was there.  She is around age 8-10, but she was acting more like my 4yo.  Her family told me that she's on the spectrum, off her meds and someone set her off, so who was it? I hear in those words that some other kid is at fault for looking at her side-eye, so who can we blame for this?

I'm not trying to call out kids with a diagnosis, I'm really just trying to understand, well, two things, I guess.

1) Where is the line between entitled brat breakdown and autistic spectrum reaction?

and 2) If it's true that she's on the spectrum and off her meds, why in the world would you send her off to a strange group dynamic with strange adults? Or at least a head's up to the adults?

Also, not hair-flipping, I do this on a desktop, and with kids and life I will sit down and check it, but rather infrequently. Thank you.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2018 at 11:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2018 at 11:41 PM

Guess I've got kryptonite on topic here. I'll check again tomorrow, and delete if no comments. Thanks.

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Mar. 17, 2018 at 11:44 PM
11 moms liked this
Honestly, I don't give a single fuck what's wrong with the child but if you bring them in public they should behave themselves. I shouldn't have to put up with a rash of bullshit because the kid can't handle being amongst people.
YuppyMom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 17, 2018 at 11:51 PM
First, why lay blame anywhere? A child on the spectrum had a tantrum. What is the need for blane?

You can't tell the difference. Many can't. But, the child has a diagnosis. Therefore, a skilled professional ( or team thereof) have evaluated the child and the other symptoms and issues and they have given her a diagnosis. The patent told you her diagnosis. So, why do you need to differentiate???

YuppyMom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 17, 2018 at 11:52 PM
3 moms liked this
Children with autism need to learn to venave in public. To do that, they have to BE in public. There will be public meltdowns.

Quoting Danesmommy1: Honestly, I don't give a single fuck what's wrong with the child but if you bring them in public they should behave themselves. I shouldn't have to put up with a rash of bullshit because the kid can't handle being amongst people.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 17, 2018 at 11:56 PM
1 mom liked this
To be honest sound like because of her DX she gets away with crap. If of was my child ( I have two special needs kids) I would have dragged their butts out to the car till they could behave or the event was done.
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Mar. 18, 2018 at 12:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Meh... I can tolerate that to a point, but not to craziness.

I had a SN kid punched my kid in the face, not once, not twice, but THREE times. The first two times I felt as you do, the third time? I was done.

Quoting YuppyMom: Children with autism need to learn to venave in public. To do that, they have to BE in public. There will be public meltdowns.
Quoting Danesmommy1: Honestly, I don't give a single fuck what's wrong with the child but if you bring them in public they should behave themselves. I shouldn't have to put up with a rash of bullshit because the kid can't handle being amongst people.
YuppyMom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 18, 2018 at 12:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Where were the adults?

Quoting Danesmommy1: Meh... I can tolerate that to a point, but not to craziness.

I had a SN kid punch my kid in the face, not once, not twice, but THREE times. The first two times I felt as you do, the third time? I was done.

Quoting YuppyMom: Children with autism need to learn to venave in public. To do that, they have to BE in public. There will be public meltdowns.

Quoting Danesmommy1: Honestly, I don't give a single fuck what's wrong with the child but if you bring them in public they should behave themselves. I shouldn't have to put up with a rash of bullshit because the kid can't handle being amongst people.
LovlyRita
by Meter Maid on Mar. 18, 2018 at 12:18 AM
2 moms liked this
Entitled brats really do not have tantrums like that. They are usually much more diplomatic and good at negotiating.
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Mar. 18, 2018 at 12:30 AM
I was standing there watching a kid punch my kid in the face thinking/saying things like "Well, he's special and didn't mean it."

I'm obviously not amongst the best and the brightest because it took me three times to realize this is horseshit.

Quoting YuppyMom: Where were the adults?

Quoting Danesmommy1: Meh... I can tolerate that to a point, but not to craziness.

I had a SN kid punch my kid in the face, not once, not twice, but THREE times. The first two times I felt as you do, the third time? I was done.

Quoting YuppyMom: Children with autism need to learn to venave in public. To do that, they have to BE in public. There will be public meltdowns.

Quoting Danesmommy1: Honestly, I don't give a single fuck what's wrong with the child but if you bring them in public they should behave themselves. I shouldn't have to put up with a rash of bullshit because the kid can't handle being amongst people.
susannah2000
by Emerald Member on Mar. 18, 2018 at 12:32 AM
4 moms liked this


Quoting YuppyMom: First, why lay blame anywhere? A child on the spectrum had a tantrum. What is the need for blane? You can't tell the difference. Many can't. But, the child has a diagnosis. Therefore, a skilled professional ( or team thereof) have evaluated the child and the other symptoms and issues and they have given her a diagnosis. The patent told you her diagnosis. So, why do you need to differentiate???

Even if they have a diagnosis, they don't get a free pass to behave worse than wild animals. They need to learn how to behave in public, just like every other kid.

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