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Advice anyone please. Update.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 65 Replies
Sorry for the typos and bad grammer.
My daughter went to a friends birthday party yesterday. She came home crying and refused to talk to me. A bit later one of her friends calls me and told me they are worried for her. My dd still did not want to talk. The friend sent me some screenshots of a group converstation. My dd told everyone she was tired of life amd trying to live it because she hurt her friend. In the converstation others started texting what happened things like that well one of the girls said. She is like that because I tried to kill myself because of her and that only her and a few of the girls know what really happened. My dd still does not want to talk. Well today I was able to get ahold of one of the other girls mom who supposedly knows what happened. She talked to her dd and told me that that girl declared herself to my dd told her she had feelings for her and loved her and my dd did not respond to it. So the girl locked herself in the bathroom. The older sister wemt to check what happened and yelled for her dad. Her dad went into the bathroom then yelled for my dd to leave because it was her fault. My dd came home crying. She still does not want to talk about it and is still crying and upset. These girls are around 12 and 13. Dd is 13. In the screenshot the other friend sent me the girl threatened to kill herself again. My dd has not answered any of their messages. I do know my dd fells like it is her fault. She did tell me that. I do not know what to do any advice. Again sorry for the poor grammer.


Update
I was able to get what happened from a few of the other girls all the stories matched. I tried to talk to the girls parents they told me to leave. I pulled my dd from school she did not want to go back on Tuesday. While she went to get her things from her locker. The girl walked by as her class was going to lunch. One of the girls told her my dd was leaving she started crying and yelling NO. They took her to the nurses office. I spoke to the 6th grade counselor and told her what had happened. i went back to the front to wait for dd. The girl walked up to me and told me to tell my dd bye and she would miss her and started crying again and walked away. Dd came back with everything from her locker and we left. Today one of my neighbors kids told me that everyone at school was saying dd is bisexual. I am glad I took her out of school. Dd is doing better she has been kind of down and quiet but she is getting back to herself slowly. Thank you for all who gave me advice.


Edit to add
She did cut her left wrist at the party. She continued to text dd along with picturs of her bloody arm till yesterday when I had to delete her messaging app and change her number.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:12 PM
Bump any advice. I was able to get the girls adress that tried to kill herself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:13 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:13 PM
Talking would not be optional.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:15 PM
Talk to who? Dd does not want to talk she has been with me laying around but does not want to talk. I have tried asking her.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Talking would not be optional.
MonarchMom22
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:16 PM
3 moms liked this

You should tell you daughter that someone contacted you and explained the situation. That you can understand how terrible it must be for her to feel in any responsible for someone else feeling hurt, or wanting to hurt themselves. Let her know that it can be very confusing to know how to responde to other people's feelings, but that each of us can only be honest and do our best at the moment - no one is perfect and no one can control what anyone else does.

Listen to her.  It is more important that she has a chance to let out her feeligns than for you to have any suggestions or answers.  Let her know you love her and will help her figure out how to handle this.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:18 PM

Take away the phone and no more play dates for a very long time.  Eliminate those kids as her friends.  They can socialize during school which there really should not be enough time for that at their age in school and then home she goes.  Too much freedom at that age is dangerous.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:20 PM
I did I did not tell her who contacted me. I have told her all that you suggested. She just cries. She does not talk or say anything. This girl is still telling people she is going to kill herself.

Quoting MonarchMom22:

You should tell you daughter that someone contacted you and explained the situation. That you can understand how terrible it must be for her to feel in any responsible for someone else feeling hurt, or wanting to hurt themselves. Let her know that it can be very confusing to know how to responde to other people's feelings, but that each of us can only be honest and do our best at the moment - no one is perfect and no one can control what anyone else does.

Listen to her.  It is more important that she has a chance to let out her feeligns than for you to have any suggestions or answers.  Let her know you love her and will help her figure out how to handle this.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:20 PM

declared herself?  what does that mean

mama_danetta
by She's so heavy on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:21 PM
So your daughter's friend tried to kill herself? And said it was your daughter's fault?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 18, 2018 at 3:22 PM
1 mom liked this

 that girl declared herself to my dd and my dd did not respond to it.


what does that mean?

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