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Dating a big girl and telling her skinny is his type?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 59 Replies
So my friend weighs well over 300 pounds. She's probably the biggest person I have ever seen in real life.

I've been chubby to overweight my whole life and found it limited my dating prospects. She doesn't have that issue at all. I've known her for 5 years. She was married when I met her but divorced soon after. Since then she's had three serious boy friends and dates lots of guys between boy friends. However, all of these guys have been losers. It's clear they take advantage of her and don't treat her well.

She's been dating a new guy for a few months and I really don't like him for several reasons. She doesn't say much about their relationship because she knows people don't approve. She just told me a couple of things that really bother me.

He told her his type is skinny girls with dark hair wich is the exact opposite of her. When she pointed that out he said no one is perfect. He doesn't expect to end up with his perfect woman sometimes you just end up with who you are with. She doesn't know if she should be offended.

He also has been making comments about what she eats. Obviously her eating is terrible. But he has actually taken food from her and said she's never going to lose weight if she eats like that. She thinks it sweet that he cares about her. I think when you start dating a woman that big expecting her to lose weight is ridiculous.

I am worried for her. What do you think?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:12 PM
Bump
Manic_Sinner
by 5/27/2018🤰🏽 on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:14 PM
2 moms liked this
She has to make her own choices but I would think she was making a mistake.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:15 PM
1 mom liked this
She obviously has low self esteem and thinks that this is what she’s worth. He sounds like a jerk burger, but if he’s not actually abusing her, there’s not much you can do. She’s probably so afraid of being alone that she’ll justify anything he says. She’s a big girl (literally) and it’s up to her to decide she’s worth more than what he’s giving her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:17 PM
1 mom liked this
I think it's her life.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:17 PM
The last she was with stole money from her lied and cheated on her constantly and she hid all of it from everyone. Her husband used to hit her and she didn't tell anyone until years later.

I 100% think this guy is emotionally abusive. I don't think he's attracted to her and that he's using her. But she's no very honest about what goes on.

Quoting Anonymous 2: She obviously has low self esteem and thinks that this is what she’s worth. He sounds like a jerk burger, but if he’s not actually abusing her, there’s not much you can do. She’s probably so afraid of being alone that she’ll justify anything he says. She’s a big girl (literally) and it’s up to her to decide she’s worth more than what he’s giving her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:18 PM
It's hard not to care when you see someone you care about being mistreated.

Quoting Anonymous 3: I think it's her life.
BrittsJade
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:19 PM
300 lbs is the biggest you've seen in rl? You should see my walmart. 😂
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:19 PM
I didn't suggest that you not care.
You can want all the good things in the world for her, but until she wants it for herself, things won't change.

Quoting Anonymous 1: It's hard not to care when you see someone you care about being mistreated.

Quoting Anonymous 3: I think it's her life.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:21 PM
Honestly I don't know is she's over 400 or not.

She can't sit in arm chairs and won't go to most movie theaters becuase she can't fit in the seats. Her stomach hangs down to her mid thigh.



Quoting BrittsJade: 300 lbs is the biggest you've seen in rl? You should see my walmart. 😂
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 18, 2018 at 6:24 PM
I know as a friend it’s frustrating. But like I said, there’s not much you can do. You can be honest with her and let her know you’re there for her, but just be prepared for her to kick you to the curb if you get too vocal.

I’m telling you this because I was her. I was in an abusive relationship (verbal and emotional) and he was clearly using me. But my self esteeem was so low and I was so desperate to not be alone, that I justified everything. People who were brutally honest with me were quickly removed from my life. Thank God those people were still there for me when he left me. It wasn’t until he was gone that I was able to see how bad it had been.

What makes her situation very concerning, however, is that this is a pattern for her. So you need to decide if your friendship with her is worth the turmoil it puts you through every time she gets into a bad relationship.

Quoting Anonymous 1: The last she was with stole money from her lied and cheated on her constantly and she hid all of it from everyone. Her husband used to hit her and she didn't tell anyone until years later.

I 100% think this guy is emotionally abusive. I don't think he's attracted to her and that he's using her. But she's no very honest about what goes on.

Quoting Anonymous 2: She obviously has low self esteem and thinks that this is what she’s worth. He sounds like a jerk burger, but if he’s not actually abusing her, there’s not much you can do. She’s probably so afraid of being alone that she’ll justify anything he says. She’s a big girl (literally) and it’s up to her to decide she’s worth more than what he’s giving her.
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