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Edit: How would you handle this?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies
Dh has a crappy immune system due to side effect of chemo so an easy cold that would a last on a normal person 3 days, would throw him in bed for 2 days with fever, tight chest having trouble breathing and body aches, after that, his body takes a month to be back to normal and his gastritis acts up for a month and has ended up in the hospital with pneumonia more than once due to the colds. If no pneumonia, he goes to work and works hard but he feels like crap.

Dd is 9. When she coughs, she covers but when she’s coughing and/or is congested is like she doesn’t really understand what goes on with dad and gets in our bed and it drives Dh crazy, he tells her to not to do it and he kisses her on the head and lets her kiss him on the head but tells her all the time to not to be on top of him because she gets him sick.

She is super sensitive with that and gets upset because daddy is mad at her and rejects her and he gets aggravated because she’s not careful.

I’m really tired of the nonsense. It’s like I had 2 toddlers.

Any ideas on how to get them to stop?

Tonight I explained to her more what happens and to try to be nice and considerate to daddy and when she knows she’s not feeling well to be more careful and told Dh to stop whining so much and talk to her instead of getting aggravated.

I don’t know what else to do, I understand his problem and I know she needs to improve but what else can I do?

ETA

He stops her and I stop her, but how to get both in the same page without the bickering? Imagine 8 year old siblings arguing, how do you get them to stop?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
B1Bomber
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:24 AM
1 mom liked this

You have to keep explaining to her why she can't climb on him. His health is more important in this case than her feelings.

engagedandproud
by Diamond Member on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:25 AM
She's old enough to know better
Valentina327
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:27 AM
You have to keep stopping her immediately. Redirect her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:28 AM
2 moms liked this
She’s 9, not 3. She is more than old enough to understand she is not to climb into your bed sick. If she needs something or wants to cuddle, you can go to her bed or the sofa. But 100% your dh’s health comes first IN HIS OWN BED!
worwalkerlds
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:30 AM
1 mom liked this
Your daughter is absolutely old enough to understand that climbing all over Dad while she is sick is NOT okay. It's not okay even if he didn't have a terrible immune system as a side effect from chemo. I mean, if she's special needs she may have a hard time grasping this concept but, if she's a normal functioning kid she needs to be reprimanded when she climbs into bed while sick.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:30 AM
I know that, but is the hurting feelings between the 2 of them what drives me nuts. Both are like toddlers.

Quoting Valentina327: You have to keep stopping her immediately. Redirect her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:38 AM
2 moms liked this
Your kid will have to get over her hurt feelings. Imagine how much worse she will feel if she passes a bug to her dad that kills him.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I know that, but is the hurting feelings between the 2 of them what drives me nuts. Both are like toddlers.

Quoting Valentina327: You have to keep stopping her immediately. Redirect her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:42 AM
I Had a talk tonight with both of them and I told her that... I don’t think she knew before how bad it could be.

I really hope one day his system “reboots” and gets back to normal.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Your kid will have to get over her hurt feelings. Imagine how much worse she will feel if she passes a bug to her dad that kills him.
Quoting Anonymous 1: I know that, but is the hurting feelings between the 2 of them what drives me nuts. Both are like toddlers.
Quoting Valentina327: You have to keep stopping her immediately. Redirect her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:43 AM
How much have you told her about your dh and his condition? If you haven't I would tell her everything and why it's really important to keep her distance when he's sick, she's old enough to understand.
allycally
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2018 at 12:46 AM
Have her wash her hands and have dh wear a face mask .
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