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I think my husband wishes I would die

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 73 Replies
I have MS and we can't afford a nurse to come help care for me.

I had an accident yesterday since I couldn't get myself to the toilet on time. My husband got irritated and said "again"? He said I was worse than a puppy that was not potty trained.

Our two kids are in their 20's now and doing well financially. They have offered to help get me care but I don't want to take their money. I wouldn't feel right.

Once or twice a month he goes away over night with his friends. They spend a lot of money on alcohol and I know about the strippers. I wish he wouldn't but I don't blame him.

He always seems defeated when he comes home. I was very sick this past winter and it looked like I might not make it. I was in the hospital and he kept saying it was okayif I wanted to let go. He did not seem too happy when I got better.

I know I am a burden to care for but I would do the same for him if I could or had to. Not sure what to do but I do think he wishes I would die.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 21, 2018 at 2:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 21, 2018 at 2:33 AM
Omg. You don’t deserve this at all. Do you have any options besides your children?
Ted1242
by I'm listening. on Mar. 21, 2018 at 2:35 AM
Wow.
shadow_lark
by Ruby Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 2:36 AM
4 moms liked this
Well that's just terrible of him.

I also think it may be his poorly masked way of saying that he is no longer capable of caring for you on his own. Have you tried sitting him down and talking to him about how his attitude makes you feel? And I know you don't want to, but it might be time to consider taking the offered help from your children. They wouldn't offer if they didn't love you and didn't really want to help. You know, you cared for them for so many years when they needed someone to do everything for them, let them help you out now when you need someone to be there for you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 21, 2018 at 2:40 AM
Your kids should step up. He may be overwhelmed.
Princess_s21
by Sarah on Mar. 21, 2018 at 2:47 AM
Oh my goodness, im so sorry you are going through that. Take the help from your children that way you don’t have worry about him ‘caring’ for you.
tish_hughes82
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 2:48 AM
Rude.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 21, 2018 at 2:59 AM
I have been tempted to take the help. I would rather they use the money on themselves though.

He won't talk about any of it with me, he says living it is bad enough we don't need to rehash it.

Quoting shadow_lark: Well that's just terrible of him.

I also think it may be his poorly masked way of saying that he is no longer capable of caring for you on his own. Have you tried sitting him down and talking to him about how his attitude makes you feel? And I know you don't want to, but it might be time to consider taking the offered help from your children. They wouldn't offer if they didn't love you and didn't really want to help. You know, you cared for them for so many years when they needed someone to do everything for them, let them help you out now when you need someone to be there for you.
maliksmama2
by Gold Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 3:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Unless he outright said it, I wouldn't think about it like that. As much as you're dealing with this, he is too and sometimes people handle grief differently. He's greiving you, the relationship etc... I would give him time, take up the offer from my kids for care and maybe try counseling with him to learn how to cope with these changes and how to be able to have an open line of conversation with each other .
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 21, 2018 at 3:06 AM
This. Caring for a loved a is a huge deal and a huge burden sometimes.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Your kids should step up. He may be overwhelmed.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 21, 2018 at 3:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Is your name Marie by any chance?
If not, then I apologize ☹

Take the help from your children hun.
You know they love and care about you if they offered to help. Hope it all works out
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