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Does this seem like favoritism?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 66 Replies

I have 6 daughters and just 1 grandchild by my oldest and her dh. 2 of my daughters are pregnant. 


When my oldest was pregnant I went all out with the baby shower gifts. I bought a stroller of their choice as well as about 500 dollars worth of small stuff. What can I say? I was VERY excited about being a grandma for the first time. 


Now I have 2 more grandbabies coming up and I can't afford to spend that much on them and I certainly can't keep providing gifts of that size if all 6 of my girls have multiple kids. 


I feel guilty, I am so excited that I will be a grandma to 2 more and I already love them just as much as my grandson, I just simply can't afford gifts like that for every grand kid. I also don't want my dds to think I'm favoring their older sister. I love all of them equally and I'm equally excited about their pregnancies!


If you were my daughters, would you think I played favorites? should I say something or just not mention it. 

I will be throwing the baby showers for both daughters as I did for my oldest

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
engagedandproud
by Diamond Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:11 AM
No that isn't favorites
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:13 AM
2 moms liked this
Yes I would. With 6 daughters it's pretty safe to assume more grandkids would follow.

My parents didn't save for my college for me since they assumed I wouldn't go, they didn't offer anything when I got married, they didn't do anything when I had my kids because they didn't want me to have any.

They paid for my brother's college educations even after they flunked out, bought them cars, paid for flowers and food at their weddings, and went absolutely Insane over sils pregnancy. They threw her a shower, bought her bedroom set for the baby, and probably 1k in other stuff. Even tried to say they were finally first time grandparents since it was their first child's first baby.

I dropped them years ago and never looked back, they probably haven't even noticed yet. I was a great kid by the way, straight A's, never in trouble, but I was the girl they never wanted.
crumpy_gat
by No. on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:14 AM
1 mom liked this
If it's financial then no. If you had the money and chose not to spend it then yes.
bmw29
by spitfire_bobbie on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:16 AM
I wouldn't but I have a sister that would.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:19 AM
2 moms liked this
Yep. It may be true you can't afford it but you have 6 daughters, you should have thought it through before you went crazy with your first. Shop sales try to make your other daughters feel as special as you made your first feel. Babies r us is going out of business btw!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:20 AM
Yeah I’m trying to think about how they would see it. Both of the pregnant DDs are my most laid back kids and generally never get jealous or dramatic but pregnancy hormones can be a real bitch lol

I don’t want to hurt their feelings but I can’t keep going with this type of gift

Quoting bmw29: I wouldn't but I have a sister that would.
Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:23 AM
That’s not favoritism, that’s life, and sometimes it’s not fair....
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:23 AM
2 moms liked this
I was thinking I could just get them each one big item of their choice as I did with dd and the stroller then just cut back on how much I spend on the little stuff. I admit it was crazy to spend 500 dollars on a lot of little stuff.

I was also thinking I could take some time off of work to spend with each of the girls if they want, like staying with them for a week or so to help with the baby.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Yep. It may be true you can't afford it but you have 6 daughters, you should have thought it through before you went crazy with your first. Shop sales try to make your other daughters feel as special as you made your first feel. Babies r us is going out of business btw!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes. My oldest brother got most of a down payment for a house. My oldest sister got a great deal of her university paid for. I’m the fifth child, and I had to support myself starting at age 16. You were excited, sure, but you really should have thought about this kind of thing. With that many kids it’s probably not he first time they all had life events in a row.
terra221
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Just tell them you went a little nuts with the first but you now realize you can't afford to do the same with all future grandkids. Reassure them that they and their kids are equally loved.
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