Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I want to fight but im scared. long, sorry i ramble.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

I want to take my ex back to court for full custody but i feel its going to be a big fight and he will manipulate his way to winning. The only reason he has what he does now is because his other ex made him fight for it. Made him look like a great dad when hes far from it (he had her convinced i was the bad one but she learned i wasnt) We share legal custody and i see no point in it. He has never taken them to the doctor, dentist or deals with anything school related. He even refuses to do homework with them. He has gf after gf in the kids lives. Recently moved a gf into his place and he barely knows her. He cant properly feed them, wont allow them to bathe in his home and leaves them with people that are incapable of keeping them safe (his mom is disabled, cant drive at night and he lives on the 2nd floor of an apartment and he works nights) He does things that put the kids in danger and then tells me not to worry about it and that i should trust him because hes their dad. No thanks! hes an idiot. The current schedule is too much on the kids and he doesnt seem to care. He makes it about himself even after i tell him that they cry and tell me they dont want to go there. Hes manipulative so the kids are afraid to tell him they dont want to be there. He will cry and tell them he needs them. Our youngst is acting out in school and home. I'm just done dealing with it. His other ex said she would testify and tell the judge that he wouldnt parent and that she had to do it to help me prove hes full of it and doesnt deserve custody simply because he appears to be a good parent on paper. I dont know if i have a chance though or not. I plan to call my lawyer but i keep pushing it off because i dont want to hear that i will be in for a big fight. I'm willing to fight but last time i fought i owed thousands and got no where. 



Schedule:

Monday with me

Tuesday with him after school from 4 to 7, he wont even take their back packs to his house, he makes them leave the bags at my house.

Wednesday: every other 4 to 7

Thursday: 4 to 7

Weekends: every other from 4pm friday to sunday at 7pm

summer: normal schedule and 2 weeks without seeing the other parent. During his 2nd week he has to work so i request he bring them to me and he throws a fit stating his mom should get to watch them. we have right of first refusal and again shes disabled. 

holidays: every other year kind of thing and same for birthdays. Last year he wanted to split holidays instead of every other and to a point it was nice but it was too much work because for certain things he wanted to argue with me and im tired of arguing. 


Also:

we went to court last year because his other ex pushed him to go for 50/50 custody. he filed. we went to court and less than a month later his wife dumped him. he never wanted 50/50 to begin with so he settled for the every other wednesday thing. i didnt agree but i was done fighting because the judge wouldnt listen to me and i was stressed from it all. i thought him being on divorce #2 he would open his eyes and see hes a fuck up but nope he just kept fucking up and putting the kids last. 


Would you take it to court or let it go?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 16, 2018 at 9:48 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
xoch86
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I’d go back to court..

alexsmommy51405
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Go back to court. 

If your kids are old enough have them start documenting everything that goes on in his home. Everything! Also, start documenting yourself, if he's late to pick them up, write it down, if the kids come back in the same dirty clothes from 2 days ago, write it down. 

Hell hire a private investigator. Do what you need to do to get your kids. There is no excuse. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 16, 2018 at 9:56 PM

do you think i have enough to show that him having any custody is pointless or do i sound petty? i dont want to take the kids from him but i think the schedule is too much, the kids are miserable and im tired of playing his games. He thinks i should follow or go against the court order to appease him but he wont return the favor. 

Quoting xoch86:

I’d go back to court..


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 16, 2018 at 9:59 PM

they are old enough ish and i say that because they get manipulated to think like he does. hes already turning our oldest against their former step mom. i have documented everything since the day we split up. 

speaking of dirty clothes he makes them wear the same clothes all weekend long. so gross. 

thank you!

Quoting alexsmommy51405:

Go back to court. 

If your kids are old enough have them start documenting everything that goes on in his home. Everything! Also, start documenting yourself, if he's late to pick them up, write it down, if the kids come back in the same dirty clothes from 2 days ago, write it down. 

Hell hire a private investigator. Do what you need to do to get your kids. There is no excuse. 


JustKeepsmoving
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 10:00 PM
Court
xoch86
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 10:02 PM

I owiodnt know what kind of documentation that you have,,

but for a school aged cild, that seems like too much back and forth, especially of you say he doesn’t do homework with them.

i wouldn’t mess with the court order in any way shape or form, considering his track record.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

do you think i have enough to show that him having any custody is pointless or do i sound petty? i dont want to take the kids from him but i think the schedule is too much, the kids are miserable and im tired of playing his games. He thinks i should follow or go against the court order to appease him but he wont return the favor. 

Quoting xoch86:

I’d go back to court..



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 16, 2018 at 10:02 PM

do you think i have a good chance based on the things ive stated here? im just worried im going to spend a bunch of money to be told to get over it and be grateful hes not hurting them or some bs like that. 

Quoting JustKeepsmoving: Court


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 16, 2018 at 10:05 PM

i have proof of the things i stated. screen shots of text conversations and things like that

all 3 of them are school aged. the youngest is the one dealing with it the most. the older 2 have their own issues but wont admit where its coming from.

i think it looks better on me if i change certain things. it shows i still allow him to see the kids. it worked in my favor last time. 

Quoting xoch86:

I owiodnt know what kind of documentation that you have,,

but for a school aged cild, that seems like too much back and forth, especially of you say he doesn’t do homework with them.

i wouldn’t mess with the court order in any way shape or form, considering his track record.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

do you think i have enough to show that him having any custody is pointless or do i sound petty? i dont want to take the kids from him but i think the schedule is too much, the kids are miserable and im tired of playing his games. He thinks i should follow or go against the court order to appease him but he wont return the favor. 

Quoting xoch86:

I’d go back to court..




Gardeningmom4
by Emerald Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 10:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd fight like hell for my kids no matter what.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 16, 2018 at 10:20 PM

im going to i just know if i dont win im going to want to kill him by the end of it all.

Quoting Gardeningmom4:

I'd fight like hell for my kids no matter what.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)