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No I'm not going to lie to an adoption agency or birth parents

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 59 Replies
1 mom liked this
My step sister has never liked children. She never babysat like I did she never even watched our younger siblings. We are both in our late twenties. I have four kids she doesn't have any. She is sad since a very young age that she would never have children didn't want them couldn't stand to them. Every family gathering that she organized usually her birthday or her husband's birthday she would specifically say kids were not invited. She even tried to host Thanksgiving one year without welcoming kids. So she expected me and my siblings who have kids to find a sitter for our children on Thanksgiving no. I ended up hosting. Well about a year-and-a-half ago her husband decided he really wanted children. They talked about it and I have a feeling she agreed mostly because she didn't want to end up getting divorced. But maybe it's possible that she had grown up a little bit and changed her mind about children. Anyway she found out that she cannot have kids. So now they are looking at adoption. The issue is they have no experience with children. Adoption agencies typically like to see children who you already interact with. But they don't interact with any children. I don't think my sister-in-law ever held any one of my children as babies even. So now they're coming to us asking if they can take our kids to the park and take pictures for their adoption profile and if the adoption agency contacts us which they likely will to tell them that they have always been very involved with our children. Sorry I'm not going to lie. These are birth parents are already making a horrible decision about giving their own child up for adoption and choosing who will adopt those children. They deserve the respect of the truth. I won't be nasty or mean but I'm also not going to lie.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:15 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:17 AM
3 moms liked this

Not that it matters to the story but is this step sister or sister in law

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:19 AM
People’s desires change.

I’d give her a chance to get the experience.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:20 AM
4 moms liked this

There is absolutely nothing wrong with adults who don't want children.  It's not a matter of growing up at all, its just their personal choice which they are allowed to make.


ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:21 AM


Quoting Anonymous 2:

Not that it matters to the story but is this step sister or sister in law

quinnsmom715
by Emerald Member on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:22 AM

id tell her shes not using my kids to impress people.if shed been doing it all along-thats different.now,shes just placating dh.and i bet 20 bucks she CAN  have kids-just doesnt want to get pregnant..

Curlymom234
by Flamingo lady on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:22 AM
She may have just changed her mind. Honestly, I never liked children or even held one until I had my kids. I think you should give her a chance instead of silently judging her.
Hiker11
by Member on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:23 AM
1 mom liked this
Not buying this. You change from step sister to SIL. I’ve had a few friends go to adoption route and they were never required to have pictures of them playing with other kids or having experience with being around kids.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:23 AM
1 mom liked this

......."My step sister has never liked children. She never babysat like I did she never even watched our younger siblings. We are both in our late twenties. I have four kids she doesn't have any. She is sad since a very young age that she would never have children didn't want them couldn't stand to them. Every family gathering that she organized usually her birthday or her husband's birthday she would specifically say kids were not invited. She even tried to host Thanksgiving one year without welcoming kids. So she expected me and my siblings who have kids to find a sitter for our children on Thanksgiving no. I ended up hosting. Well about a year-and-a-half ago her husband decided he really wanted children. They talked about it and I have a feeling she agreed mostly because she didn't want to end up getting divorced. But maybe it's possible that she had grown up a little bit and changed her mind about children. Anyway she found out that she cannot have kids. So now they are looking at adoption. The issue is they have no experience with children. Adoption agencies typically like to see children who you already interact with. But they don't interact with any children. I don't think my sister-in-law ever held any one of my children as babies even. So now they're coming to us asking if they can take our kids to the park and take pictures for their adoption profile and if the adoption agency contacts us which they likely will to tell them that they have always been very involved with our children. Sorry I'm not going to lie. These are birth parents are already making a horrible decision about giving their own child up for adoption and choosing who will adopt those children. They deserve the respect of the truth. I won't be nasty or mean but I'm also not going to lie........."

Your choice entirely what you decide.

krazymom2boyz
by Ruby Member on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this
So why not give her the chance to spend time with your kids? Maybe she really does want kids and wants to adopt and wants to try to get to know her nieces and nephews. Then you won't have to lie and everyone is happy.
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