Horrible News: Crop Tops Are 'In' This Spring
One part of my body that I 'sacrificed' for the sake of my children was my stomach. Things pretty much went back to normal after I had my daughter, but after giving birth to my son, a 10-pounder, I had to come to terms with the fact that my tummy would never be what it once was without the help of plastic surgery.
This to me is no biggie -- I mean, that's what Spanx and shapewear swimsuits are for, right? But now comes this awful, horrific news: Crop tops are all the rage for spring.
I'm imagining groans of horror from 95 percent of the moms out there. Are you one of them?
MTV Style is calling the crop top a "must-have" for the spring season -- but I'm assuming most of this blog's readers are teens, who've never seen the horror of a postpartum, stretched-out navel.
Hollywood Life tries to be a bit more helpful and realistic, offering up this advice to those of us who don't like to bare our tummies at the supermarket:
While you may be uneasy about the idea of showing some skin, don’t fret! The trend can actually work quite well on a variety of figures. The most flattering way to rock the look is with a high-waisted skirt, high-waisted shorts or trousers.
Wait a second. Hold up. High-waisted shorts or trousers? Are you for real? I'm sorry, but the day I turn up in a pair of high-waisted shorts, call my doctor. It's time to up my meds.
(Which are, if you must know: Claritin. I suppose allergy season could technically cause pollen-induced hallucinations that lead to the putting-on of "high-waisted trousers." But still. I think my doctor would want to know.)
My "expert" advice? Unless your name is Jillian and you spend hours on your abs each day, leave the crop top trend be. It didn't look good in the '80s and -- surprise! -- it still doesn't look good today.
I'm always open to hearing other opinions, though. What's your take? Will you wear a crop top this spring?