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Aspergers (kind of long rant)

Posted by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 6:27 PM
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3 moms liked this

 Am I the only one who doesn't really care for this diagnosis?  I know that sounds really awful.  I have had many people say "Oh you know that's a symptom of aspergers, right?" when in a conversation about our children or seeing things my children do.  I looked up the traits of aspergers, my children all have a lot of these traits, as well and my husband and I.  My oldest uses a headset when I give her worksheets because it helps her, she gets it done with no complaints or fuss and there always right, other wise there's tears and half the page is wrong or not even done. Then there's my youngest walks on her toes not all the time but a lot, I bought her ballet shoes.  I really don't believe in forcing her to walk flat footed if she prefers to walk on her toes.  I do know that there is concern with how their muscles/tendons will form but since I am not going to force her to walk in a way that she doesn't want to I will do stretches with her to make sure her tendons grow right.  Am I wrong to think that focusing intently on things they like and having a preference for small groups of friends and family are not bad things or traits that need to be fixed?  They tend to be pretty smart with things that they like or have interest in, why is that a bad thing?  I eespecially do not believe in medicating children for everything.  I see medication as an extreme measure only to be used in extremely rare situations. 

  I know there are many families with autistic children and for their families it's very difficult to communicate or interact and in those cases I see how getting help from therapists would be beneficial.  However I have seen several children that have been diagnosed autistic or with aspergers and what I have seen is those children are either like my kids but being forced to do things that are uncomfortable to them or in ways that they wouldn't do them or there are kids that I see that just seem to be brats and are then diagnosed since they are just uncontrollable. 

I'm sorry if this has offended anyone but I feel that labels (I won't even start on ADD or ADHD), diagnoses and medication are far to over used by doctors, teachers and parents.  I happen to think my children are fabulous the way they are and I love their personalities (even thought they clash with mine sometimes and make me a bit batty) and I have no desire to cut off their personalities to make them blend into the crowd (or classroom).  OK my soap box rant is over now.

by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 6:27 PM
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LindaClement
by Group Owner on Sep. 13, 2013 at 6:58 PM
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My youngest (who works with special needs kids at before & afterschool care) says 'aspergers has been removed from the spectrum.'

I wondered if it wasn't because it effectively diagnoses 100% of the people who don't cooperate with 100% of the demands made of them by strangers, in any kind of hectic or pressure environment... which means it's kids (and adults) with backbones and brains, the kind that don't 'fit in' very well :D

LindaClement
by Group Owner on Sep. 13, 2013 at 6:59 PM

P.S.

Nice rant :D

Mommyfish831
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 10:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Lol thanks for taking the time to read. 

Quoting LindaClement:

P.S.

Nice rant :D


Mommyfish831
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 10:38 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting LindaClement:

My youngest (who works with special needs kids at before & afterschool care) says 'aspergers has been removed from the spectrum.'

I wondered if it wasn't because it effectively diagnoses 100% of the people who don't cooperate with 100% of the demands made of them by strangers, in any kind of hectic or pressure environment... which means it's kids (and adults) with backbones and brains, the kind that don't 'fit in' very well :D

True, good to know that's been removed, so if my "I don't give a fly rats butt" attitude doesn't stem their comments I can tell them "well it doesn't really matter now though does it."  I'm sorry I've had a bad day so I'm a bit more worked up than usual.  

twyliatepeka
by Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 10:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Some people just need everyone to fit into a box & then there are parents with kids that are different but the parents don't understand their kids and need a diagnosis.

Hubby has a cousin that (before it was changed) was diagnosed with aspergers, he is a great kid but just is not like other kids his age he tends to hyper foucus on things he has an interest in so it makes others uncomfortable when he knows EVERYTHING on a topic. Kids (he is 13 so school is bully central) at school and even some family just don't know how to go about being around him but it is mostly because they have no true desire to take time with him. My 6 year old loves to be around him & he will play with her all day if you let him he even teaches her to play his video games.

I hope that made sense I should really be in bed. lol :)

Mommyfish831
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 11:01 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree, people want others to be something they like or understand.  It's like that other post "the cult of the unhappy" that what they all want everyone like them.

Quoting twyliatepeka:

Some people just need everyone to fit into a box & then there are parents with kids that are different but the parents don't understand their kids and need a diagnosis.

Hubby has a cousin that (before it was changed) was diagnosed with aspergers, he is a great kid but just is not like other kids his age he tends to hyper foucus on things he has an interest in so it makes others uncomfortable when he knows EVERYTHING on a topic. Kids (he is 13 so school is bully central) at school and even some family just don't know how to go about being around him but it is mostly because they have no true desire to take time with him. My 6 year old loves to be around him & he will play with her all day if you let him he even teaches her to play his video games.

I hope that made sense I should really be in bed. lol :)


twyliatepeka
by Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't really like to be stuck in a box myself and have yet to find one that really fits me. lol...that sounded like I'm really fat instead of different. I have never been the same as anyone in my whole life and was always odd girl out in school. I used to think being different was a bad thing, thanks public school, until I got older and realized I was awesome just being me.


Quoting Mommyfish831:

I agree, people want others to be something they like or understand.  It's like that other post "the cult of the unhappy" that what they all want everyone like them.

Quoting twyliatepeka:

Some people just need everyone to fit into a box & then there are parents with kids that are different but the parents don't understand their kids and need a diagnosis.

Hubby has a cousin that (before it was changed) was diagnosed with aspergers, he is a great kid but just is not like other kids his age he tends to hyper foucus on things he has an interest in so it makes others uncomfortable when he knows EVERYTHING on a topic. Kids (he is 13 so school is bully central) at school and even some family just don't know how to go about being around him but it is mostly because they have no true desire to take time with him. My 6 year old loves to be around him & he will play with her all day if you let him he even teaches her to play his video games.

I hope that made sense I should really be in bed. lol :)




Mommyfish831
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 11:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Haha me too.  I was always the kind of loner type, I had a few friends and people liked me but I didn't really like school because of the amount of people.  That's why I loved my high school program, Star Lane Center for inquisitive minds.  It's was a unique school in that it was small and then broken up into different groups that you worked on a project together to later make a presentation on to parents and experts in the community.  We usually had 10 or less in a group and 90% of our work was self lead.  I loved it, and I hope my kids would like to go when they are older but it will really be up to them.  

(Awesome little fact about my state, any program that is offered in public school is available to homeschoolers without needing to enroll in the school district, sorry that was way off topic)

Quoting twyliatepeka:

I don't really like to be stuck in a box myself and have yet to find one that really fits me. lol...that sounded like I'm really fat instead of different. I have never been the same as anyone in my whole life and was always odd girl out in school. I used to think being different was a bad thing, thanks public school, until I got older and realized I was awesome just being me.


Quoting Mommyfish831:

I agree, people want others to be something they like or understand.  It's like that other post "the cult of the unhappy" that what they all want everyone like them.

Quoting twyliatepeka:

Some people just need everyone to fit into a box & then there are parents with kids that are different but the parents don't understand their kids and need a diagnosis.

Hubby has a cousin that (before it was changed) was diagnosed with aspergers, he is a great kid but just is not like other kids his age he tends to hyper foucus on things he has an interest in so it makes others uncomfortable when he knows EVERYTHING on a topic. Kids (he is 13 so school is bully central) at school and even some family just don't know how to go about being around him but it is mostly because they have no true desire to take time with him. My 6 year old loves to be around him & he will play with her all day if you let him he even teaches her to play his video games.

I hope that made sense I should really be in bed. lol :)





twyliatepeka
by Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 12:13 AM

I went to a small rural school and I hated it so much. I hated everything about school aside from that I loved to learn. I only ever had a handful of friends K-12 and was still classified a loner when I decided to take cosmetology in college, it was creative & I thought I would love it but i ended up being wrong, it was just another box. We don't have any schools like the one you went to around here. Alabama is not the best place for being an out of the box kind of person. We also don't have a ton of homeschoolers much less unschoolers around here.

I think we can do sports with PS but it is left up to the principal weather we get to or not.


Quoting Mommyfish831:

Haha me too.  I was always the kind of loner type, I had a few friends and people liked me but I didn't really like school because of the amount of people.  That's why I loved my high school program, Star Lane Center for inquisitive minds.  It's was a unique school in that it was small and then broken up into different groups that you worked on a project together to later make a presentation on to parents and experts in the community.  We usually had 10 or less in a group and 90% of our work was self lead.  I loved it, and I hope my kids would like to go when they are older but it will really be up to them.  

(Awesome little fact about my state, any program that is offered in public school is available to homeschoolers without needing to enroll in the school district, sorry that was way off topic)

Quoting twyliatepeka:

I don't really like to be stuck in a box myself and have yet to find one that really fits me. lol...that sounded like I'm really fat instead of different. I have never been the same as anyone in my whole life and was always odd girl out in school. I used to think being different was a bad thing, thanks public school, until I got older and realized I was awesome just being me.


Quoting Mommyfish831:

I agree, people want others to be something they like or understand.  It's like that other post "the cult of the unhappy" that what they all want everyone like them.

Quoting twyliatepeka:

Some people just need everyone to fit into a box & then there are parents with kids that are different but the parents don't understand their kids and need a diagnosis.

Hubby has a cousin that (before it was changed) was diagnosed with aspergers, he is a great kid but just is not like other kids his age he tends to hyper foucus on things he has an interest in so it makes others uncomfortable when he knows EVERYTHING on a topic. Kids (he is 13 so school is bully central) at school and even some family just don't know how to go about being around him but it is mostly because they have no true desire to take time with him. My 6 year old loves to be around him & he will play with her all day if you let him he even teaches her to play his video games.

I hope that made sense I should really be in bed. lol :)







Mommyfish831
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 12:20 AM

Star Lane is unique, our school district has tried for years to close it but every tear they get more enrollments so they have failed and now they offer it it 9th graders too.  Originally it was only offered to high schoolers, which is 10-12 here (weird since you start getting credits in 9th but your still in jr high).

I think k-12 sucks for most people who don't fit a label or try or want to.  So sad and that's what passes as "socialization". Most people don't even know what the real definition of socialization is, because you definitely don't learn it from public or private schools.  

Quoting twyliatepeka:

I went to a small rural school and I hated it so much. I hated everything about school aside from that I loved to learn. I only ever had a handful of friends K-12 and was still classified a loner when I decided to take cosmetology in college, it was creative & I thought I would love it but i ended up being wrong, it was just another box. We don't have any schools like the one you went to around here. Alabama is not the best place for being an out of the box kind of person. We also don't have a ton of homeschoolers much less unschoolers around here.

I think we can do sports with PS but it is left up to the principal weather we get to or not.


Quoting Mommyfish831:

Haha me too.  I was always the kind of loner type, I had a few friends and people liked me but I didn't really like school because of the amount of people.  That's why I loved my high school program, Star Lane Center for inquisitive minds.  It's was a unique school in that it was small and then broken up into different groups that you worked on a project together to later make a presentation on to parents and experts in the community.  We usually had 10 or less in a group and 90% of our work was self lead.  I loved it, and I hope my kids would like to go when they are older but it will really be up to them.  

(Awesome little fact about my state, any program that is offered in public school is available to homeschoolers without needing to enroll in the school district, sorry that was way off topic)

Quoting twyliatepeka:

I don't really like to be stuck in a box myself and have yet to find one that really fits me. lol...that sounded like I'm really fat instead of different. I have never been the same as anyone in my whole life and was always odd girl out in school. I used to think being different was a bad thing, thanks public school, until I got older and realized I was awesome just being me.


Quoting Mommyfish831:

I agree, people want others to be something they like or understand.  It's like that other post "the cult of the unhappy" that what they all want everyone like them.

Quoting twyliatepeka:

Some people just need everyone to fit into a box & then there are parents with kids that are different but the parents don't understand their kids and need a diagnosis.

Hubby has a cousin that (before it was changed) was diagnosed with aspergers, he is a great kid but just is not like other kids his age he tends to hyper foucus on things he has an interest in so it makes others uncomfortable when he knows EVERYTHING on a topic. Kids (he is 13 so school is bully central) at school and even some family just don't know how to go about being around him but it is mostly because they have no true desire to take time with him. My 6 year old loves to be around him & he will play with her all day if you let him he even teaches her to play his video games.

I hope that made sense I should really be in bed. lol :)








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