Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Aspergers (kind of long rant)

Posted by   + Show Post

 Am I the only one who doesn't really care for this diagnosis?  I know that sounds really awful.  I have had many people say "Oh you know that's a symptom of aspergers, right?" when in a conversation about our children or seeing things my children do.  I looked up the traits of aspergers, my children all have a lot of these traits, as well and my husband and I.  My oldest uses a headset when I give her worksheets because it helps her, she gets it done with no complaints or fuss and there always right, other wise there's tears and half the page is wrong or not even done. Then there's my youngest walks on her toes not all the time but a lot, I bought her ballet shoes.  I really don't believe in forcing her to walk flat footed if she prefers to walk on her toes.  I do know that there is concern with how their muscles/tendons will form but since I am not going to force her to walk in a way that she doesn't want to I will do stretches with her to make sure her tendons grow right.  Am I wrong to think that focusing intently on things they like and having a preference for small groups of friends and family are not bad things or traits that need to be fixed?  They tend to be pretty smart with things that they like or have interest in, why is that a bad thing?  I eespecially do not believe in medicating children for everything.  I see medication as an extreme measure only to be used in extremely rare situations. 

  I know there are many families with autistic children and for their families it's very difficult to communicate or interact and in those cases I see how getting help from therapists would be beneficial.  However I have seen several children that have been diagnosed autistic or with aspergers and what I have seen is those children are either like my kids but being forced to do things that are uncomfortable to them or in ways that they wouldn't do them or there are kids that I see that just seem to be brats and are then diagnosed since they are just uncontrollable. 

I'm sorry if this has offended anyone but I feel that labels (I won't even start on ADD or ADHD), diagnoses and medication are far to over used by doctors, teachers and parents.  I happen to think my children are fabulous the way they are and I love their personalities (even thought they clash with mine sometimes and make me a bit batty) and I have no desire to cut off their personalities to make them blend into the crowd (or classroom).  OK my soap box rant is over now.

by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 6:27 PM
Replies (21-23):
Mommyfish831
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 11:01 PM
1 mom liked this

clapping

Quoting faeriemom1972:

I am continuously stunned by people that seem to thrive on drama and strife. As though their life is meaningless if they've nothing to complain about. We might be boring, lol, but we are a pretty happy clan :)

Quoting LindaClement:

That is very sensible.

And, as you may notice looking around you, very rare :D

Quoting faeriemom1972:

Yes!! I couldn't agree more. My husband notices my tics most during times of stress. I became very adept at self soothing, I deal with stress and anxiety ok, but mostly I just do my best to avoid it, lol. I live a pretty uncomplicated life :)

Quoting LindaClement:

It has long been my opinion that, with the exception of 'missing whole brain components' and seizure kinds of physical problems, 100% of the DSM is 'behaviours related to anxiety.'

When people learn to handle their anxiety (or alleviate the source of it) in more health-supporting ways, ALL of the symptoms of their diagnoses fade away. Until they figure out how to deal with their anxiety, the only 'solution' is to either drug it into oblivion or put a label on it so someone else can try behaviourism at it.

Some people get angry or worry when they're anxious. Some people bang their heads (or use other distracting, physical sensations, often called 'self-soothing' by confused parenting experts and psychiatrists) ... some do the same things 127 times in a row... some suppress all their feelings until they can't feel anything at all or think of any reason at all to move or do anything ... some learn helplessness ...others learn the exciting spikes and crashes of poorly-managed energy levels ... some people dissociate from themselves and reality, sometimes to the point that it is obvious to others that their personality has changed dramatically and often to the point that they literally cannot remember anything that happens during that state... some eat until they can't feel anything but how uncomfortable (or guilty) they are ... some provoke anger in others to create their own catharsis (and potentially a conveniently accidental suicide...) ... self-flaggellation, sex addictions, self-medication with legal and illegal substances... all kinds of '-aholic' behaviour... 

It's a long list, but it all derives from anxiety and making it go away.

Quoting faeriemom1972:

My daughter was having some "issues" years ago so I took her to a therapist. *rolls eyes* The idea was for her to have someone to talk to that was impartial, I thought that she just needed to vent and didn't want to vent to me. Being a kid is tough. (she was in public school, need I say more?)

Anyway, after one session this "therapist" decided that she had ADD and gave me a prescription for something. Needless to say, I ripped up the script and my daughter never saw her again. We worked things out, I should have trusted my abilities to begin with. 

There is a relief in diagnosis. When I was 10 I was diagnosed with tourette syndrome and after years of wondering "what's wrong with Morning Star" it was a relief (to my mother) to know that it had a name. I tried meds for a minute but never again, and I've never used it as an excuse for anything. (no, I don't swear randomly, lol, that's kind of rare) 

It seems that these days diagnoses are being made too quickly for this reason, it puts minds at ease. But sometimes I wonder if this shit really needs a diagnosis in the first place. 






jen2150
by Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 8:47 AM
1 mom liked this
I know exactly what you mean. My son didn't start talking until he was almost 4. People kept telling me how he was autistic or something else that was wrong. I even found myself looking up symptoms and trying to find out if he was on the spectrum. He wasn't even close. He was simply on the gifted side. As it turns out he has all but one of the traits of gifted kids. He just looks at things differently. I remember reading a story awhile back about a mom that wrongly diagnosed her son as being on the spectrum. There is a lot kids being wrongly diagnosed. We have to have a label. Labels are not inherently bad. They help us identify someone we have something in common with. When we need a label for everything that makes us different. Personally I think that they label kids so much so the current school system can continue. It is the kids not how the school system works.
LindaClement
by Group Owner on Sep. 15, 2013 at 5:02 PM

My sister-in-law (bro's wife) and my husband's whole family ... I don't understand it, either.

I have a lot of friends, too, who don't seem to be able to talk themselves down off a wall, and seem to take great pride in being able to be amplify problems of any scale to epic proportions.

I have other friends who are masters at downplaying their problems, handling things with quiet effectiveness and letting drama pass them by.

Can't for the life of me figure out why the first group are so adamant about the need for their response to things...

Quoting faeriemom1972:

I am continuously stunned by people that seem to thrive on drama and strife. As though their life is meaningless if they've nothing to complain about. We might be boring, lol, but we are a pretty happy clan :)

Quoting LindaClement:

That is very sensible.

And, as you may notice looking around you, very rare :D

Quoting faeriemom1972:

Yes!! I couldn't agree more. My husband notices my tics most during times of stress. I became very adept at self soothing, I deal with stress and anxiety ok, but mostly I just do my best to avoid it, lol. I live a pretty uncomplicated life :)

Quoting LindaClement:

It has long been my opinion that, with the exception of 'missing whole brain components' and seizure kinds of physical problems, 100% of the DSM is 'behaviours related to anxiety.'

When people learn to handle their anxiety (or alleviate the source of it) in more health-supporting ways, ALL of the symptoms of their diagnoses fade away. Until they figure out how to deal with their anxiety, the only 'solution' is to either drug it into oblivion or put a label on it so someone else can try behaviourism at it.

Some people get angry or worry when they're anxious. Some people bang their heads (or use other distracting, physical sensations, often called 'self-soothing' by confused parenting experts and psychiatrists) ... some do the same things 127 times in a row... some suppress all their feelings until they can't feel anything at all or think of any reason at all to move or do anything ... some learn helplessness ...others learn the exciting spikes and crashes of poorly-managed energy levels ... some people dissociate from themselves and reality, sometimes to the point that it is obvious to others that their personality has changed dramatically and often to the point that they literally cannot remember anything that happens during that state... some eat until they can't feel anything but how uncomfortable (or guilty) they are ... some provoke anger in others to create their own catharsis (and potentially a conveniently accidental suicide...) ... self-flaggellation, sex addictions, self-medication with legal and illegal substances... all kinds of '-aholic' behaviour... 

It's a long list, but it all derives from anxiety and making it go away.

Quoting faeriemom1972:

My daughter was having some "issues" years ago so I took her to a therapist. *rolls eyes* The idea was for her to have someone to talk to that was impartial, I thought that she just needed to vent and didn't want to vent to me. Being a kid is tough. (she was in public school, need I say more?)

Anyway, after one session this "therapist" decided that she had ADD and gave me a prescription for something. Needless to say, I ripped up the script and my daughter never saw her again. We worked things out, I should have trusted my abilities to begin with. 

There is a relief in diagnosis. When I was 10 I was diagnosed with tourette syndrome and after years of wondering "what's wrong with Morning Star" it was a relief (to my mother) to know that it had a name. I tried meds for a minute but never again, and I've never used it as an excuse for anything. (no, I don't swear randomly, lol, that's kind of rare) 

It seems that these days diagnoses are being made too quickly for this reason, it puts minds at ease. But sometimes I wonder if this shit really needs a diagnosis in the first place. 






Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)