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"Pregnancy Depression" or just a harder pregnancy? :/ What's wrong with me?

Posted by on Sep. 5, 2012 at 7:30 PM
  • 3 Replies

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant. Due with another sweet girl! Winslet Grace. 

My first DD, I wasn't married, but very in love with her daddy. Her pregnancy was just so simple! No symptoms. Loved my body. No stress, despite no degree, job, or experience being an adult. Perhaps I was blinded by love and excitement. :) 

2 weeks after her birth I married her daddy, and life got REAL. Real quick. As it does when you marry and become a mommy. However, despite that, once DD hit about 1, we began discussing the thought of another. We liked the age gap. DD only took about 2 weeks to make, so I figured it wouldn't take too terribly long. Well about 4 months later, I was due with a baby! ...and this pregnancy has been the polar opposite of DD #1. I threw up from day 1. I was overly exhausted from day. By the 2nd trimester I had pelvic legament pain when I walked and slept. That has only gotten severely worse. Sleeping it near impossible. Morning sicking stopped at 26 weeks, but has come back full force, as well as being tired and INSANE acid reflux. But emotionally....this is a whole new ball game.

About 2 months ago I started realizing how "sad" I was. I just couldn't believe it. Here I was with a lovely little household, and adding a baby...and I was more stressed and upset than that I had been when I had nothing and a baby on the way. What gives? My DH and friends assured me it was just hormones and part of life. Things are much more real now. I no longer wait for things to sort themselves out, but worry instead. I have bills. A household to manage. A TODDLER, and an 8 yr step son. 

But here I am 2 months later and I feel worse. I cry constantly. I hate my body. I hate the way I look, mainly because it's as if my husband has no idea how to give a dang compliment! I beg for them! BEG FOR THEM and they are no where to be found. Asking him to take the trash out is like asking him to build a pyramid. He doesn't understand that when I say my VAGINA hurts, I don't want a sarcastic look or response. Pelvic pain is NO joke. It HURTS. He just doesn't GET it. I NEED to feel pretty and I DON'T. I don't want my self confidence to come from me. I want to HEAR it from HIM. It makes me think he doesn't like me anymore, or like how I look. Which makes his normal little jokes seem far worse, or convinces me he'll cheat any moment b.c no one else is huge and pregnant. It's taking over my brain!

My children are driving me insane, and it's not their faults. She's 2, so I expect her to act certain ways. He's 8, and he's a little boy. ...but I can't HANDLE it. I cry over everything. EVERYTHING. Spilled drinks, random looks. Having to GET UP after I have finally sat. EVERYTHING. If I think a hug wasn't "meaningful" lol. It's crazy! 

But it's begginning to wear on my happy thoughts of having 3 babies. What if I can't handle 3 babies? What if I can't give this newborn the love she needs b.c I"m stressed adn upset which will effect my mood and breastfeeding? What if no one helps me? I live 2 hours from any family help. DH is all I have. I am beggining to wonder if this is signs of Depression. Which I have never fully accepted that I could ever have. ...but being this upset and feeling "defeated" constantly makes me wonder what coudl be wrong. Could it just be a harder pregrancy with more emotions and hormones running rampant? Or could I actually be sad?

 BabyFetus Ticker
by on Sep. 5, 2012 at 7:30 PM
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Replies (1-3):
JoRana83
by New Member on Sep. 6, 2012 at 8:29 AM
2 moms liked this
Sweetheart! I see a few things going on. 1. SLEEP. You have to figure out how to get more sleep. Go to bed early, stay in bed late, sleep on the couch while your DD watches a movie. Let some of the housework go and order a pizza for dinner every now and again. And it won't kill your family to have a Pb&j or ham & cheese every now and again (change the fillings of course if a family member is allergic). At night, use lots of pillows and get comfy. If DH has to sleep on the couch (or if you do) then so be it.
2. Hormones. Yes, you can have a picture perfect pregnancy & still have a difficult 2nd pregnancy due solely to hormones. Try drinking some raspberry leaf tea & make sure you're drinking plenty of water. Sleep also affects hormones, so don't ignore the sleep issue.
3. Anxiety. This can be exacerbated by lack of sleep & by hormones. Stop & take a few deep breaths when you feel anxious. Realize that everything is going to work out, even if it isn't the way you want it to work. Try to find a counselor in your area. If money is an issue, call a local church & tell them you need counseling but money is tight. Most medium to large churches these days have programs to help - even if you aren't a Christian - without trying to push you into becoming a Christian. If you aren't comfortable with the first one you try don't be afraid to ask for someone different or try a different facility/church.
4. Your relationship with your husband. I don't have a lot to add here. I'm working n my relationship with my husband now too. I'm also learning (& it is a hard lesson) that my happiness is not his responsibility. That is way too much responsibility for one person. You have to set boundaries though, because his happiness is not your responsibility either. So take care of yourself. If that means taking a nap instead of doing laundry once in a while he can deal. He's a big boy. But if he's gonna act like a toddler & throw a fit I'm sure you can find a friend or family member to stay with for a night or two... but be sure to let him know that will be the consequence of his actions.

You aren't Superwoman. You can't do it all. I hope this helps.
Kayla
mollysmom212
by on Sep. 6, 2012 at 9:28 AM

yes i agree with what joRana 83 said...seems like you are overwhelmed,sleep deprived and just need a break...perfectly normal.....iam not sure what to suggest as far as outside help..maybe another mom/neighbour or from your stepsons school would be willing to help...can you for example rent a movie and nap while the kids watch?maybe church? a mops group in your area?hang in there ..you have done it so far you can do this again..BIG HUGS...p.s. where do you live?

Lullabylee89
by Member on Sep. 6, 2012 at 11:45 AM

Tennessee!

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