Wow, tonight was big. Who knew a simple question could so easily bring me to my knees. Nick looked at me and asked "Why am I different?"
After gaining my bearings a bit I had him sit down and asked him how he feels different? What does he mean? He pointed to his little brother and said simply "Danny's smart" I can't put into words how those simple words were so profound for him and how horrific they were for me.
I sat and talked to him for quite a while and explained that first off he is smart. He is strong and he is different. Just as we all are different. I went on Carly's Voice and told him about her a bit more and explained that he has a hard time communicating some times because of the autism. He is smart and he is very brave to be that one in 100 to take on this path. I held him and cried with him. I am at a fork in the road of feeling despair that he would feel those differences and lack the understanding of those differences, that he feels that he is lacking when in fact he is such an amazing young man. And the other side of the fork of hoping that this could be a turning point in his communication. That that simple devastating question and the horrific proclamation of not feeling as smart as his little brother could be a new beginning of communication and hopefully understanding.
on Jan. 29, 2012 at 2:27 AM