1. Win elections.
2. Fund Elections (even if this means turning Corporations into people).
3. Dissolve Unions to help the other party lose elections.
4. Reverse any change that will actually benefit the country, then blame the outcome on the other party.
5. Stifle rights and claim the other party is ‘big government’ to throw our voters off.
6. Pretend to care about “Family Values” to get votes and win elections.
7. Insinuate that the President is not American, and then claim we never said that.
8. Say “Socialism” as many times as possible to get the American public to believe it, when in reality it’s just a drinking game we created on behalf of Speaker Boehner.
9. Make sure people can only have health care if they can afford it.
10. Make sure people can only get married if they are heterosexual.
11. Make sure freedom of religion only applies to “Christianity”.
12. Make sure people can only have reproductive rights if they are male.
13. Tell people we are creating jobs when we are actually performing a “seek and destroy” mission so we can blame the current administration to win the next Presidential election.
14. Destroy the public sector so we can privatize and profit off of American citizens. All tax dollars will go directly into our pockets and the pockets of our corporate cronies instead of back into the American public system created by our founding fathers. (Including public schools.. Private Schools should receive tax payer funded dollars in the form of vouchers instead)
15. Tell people that for-profit health insurance companies have their best interest at heart even when they deny a cancer patient the proper care they need to survive. (There’s no profit in helping people) (There’s no profit in cures)
16. Tell average Americans that Wall Street is just like Main St. and they deserved to be bailed out.
17. Tell average Americans that billion dollar corporations deserve tax breaks because they will create jobs… (overseas).
18. Tell people that tax breaks for the wealthy will stimulate the economy… (even though they helped create the devastated economy because tax breaks aren’t free and it kept billions from being put back into the system that provided the wealthy the freedom to earn their wealth to begin with).
19. Burn all history books that show what got us into and out of the Great Depression in the late 1920′s and into the 1930′s and 40′s when the American dream started to thrive again…. we don’t want people to know the truth… they’ll never vote Republican again.
20. Grab Jesus as a candidate if and when he returns… even though it’s pretty certain he’s a Socialist, we don’t need to remind the American public of that. He was after all in favor of helping the poor, sick, and needy… and hung out with the least of these.
21. WIN ELECTIONS no matter what it takes!