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News & Politics News & Politics

12 Silly Ways to Predict the Election

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:27 PM
  • 3 Replies

If you want a fairly good sense of who will prevail in the presidential election, you could check out the numbers at TPM's Polltracker or the latest FiveThirtyEight forecast. But if you're less concerned with stuff like sample sizes, margins of error, or statistical rigor, you might consult any of these less than scientific indicators of who will win the White House.

 

EYEBROWS

According to "expert research" by the Grooming Lounge blog, 7 out of the past 8 elections were won by the candidate with the most kempt eyebrows. Apparently Romney needs a trim.

Advantage: Obama

Source: Grooming Lounge

KIDS

Since 1940, children voting in Scholastic's mock election have selected the winner in all but two elections (1948 and 1960). If you're in grades 1 through 12 (or pretend to be), you can cast a vote here until October 10.

Advantage: Undetermined

DONUTS

"Dough-Bama" is currently beating "Mitt Yum-ney" by 3 points in apresidential donut poll being held by LaMar's Donuts. The chain notes that Dough-Bama, a donkey-shaped donut covered with blue sugar, beat its elephant-shaped rival, McCandyCain, in 2008.

Advantage: Obama

Source: LaMar's Donuts

THE REDSKIN RULE

In 17 of the past 18 elections, this rule has held fast: If the Washington Redskins win their last home game before Election Day, the party that won the previous election wins this year's. The 'Skins play the Carolina Panthers at home on November 4.

Advantage: Undetermined

7-11 CUPS

Nationwide, 7-Eleven customers are picking Obama-themed coffee cupsover Romney cups by a 3-2 margin. The convenience store claims that its 7-Election promotion, which has correctly identified the next president since 2000, has "a better track record than some well-known statistically valid polls."

Advantage: Obama

Source: 7-Eleven

ASTROLOGERS

Larry Schwimmer, a San Francisco-based astrologer, has analyzed Obama's star chart and concluded that he will be reelected. (He also insists that he predicted Romney's "47 percent" comment.) However, another astrologer, Donal Holland, says that signs in Obama's Solar Return chart indicate that he will lose.

Advantage: Undetermined

CHIA PETS

Since they went head to terracotta head in September, Chia Obamas have been outselling Chia Romneys by more than 2-to-1.

Advantage: Obama

Source: Chia

TEETH

The candidate with the whitest teeth has always won since 1992, claimsLuster Premium White. The teeth-whitener brand predicts that unless "Romney makes a dental correction," the president will be smiling on November 7.

Advantage: Obama

COOKIES

Since 1992, participating in the Family Circle cookie bake-off has become obligatory for sitting and wannabe First Ladies. The domestic battle has predicted the election winner in 4 out of 5 races. This year, Michelle Obama's white and dark chocolate chip cookies won by the smallest margin in the contest's history.

Advantage: Obama

Source: Family Circle

GAMBLERS

Ladbrokes, the British bookmaker, has set the odds of a Obama victory at 4-to-1 and Romney win at 4-to-11. It also had Obama as the favorite in 2008.

Advantage: Obama

HALLOWEEN MASKS

"The most accurate predictor of Presidential politics since the mid-1990s." That's how the Spirit costume outlet describes its index of presidential Halloween mask sales. Likewise, BuyCostumes.com says its paper-mask poll has been "100% accurate since 2000!" Both contests currently have Obama ahead of Romney by nearly 30 points.

Advantage: Obama

Source: Spirit Halloween

HEIGHT

Between 1896 and 2008, the taller presidential candidate won nearly two-thirds of the time. Obama is 6-foot-1; Romney is 6-foot-2.

Advantage: Romney

In case you lost track, that's eight indicators favoring Obama, one favoring Romney, and three with no clear favorite. Take that, Nate Silver.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:27 PM
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Replies (1-3):
Kate_Momof3
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:32 PM

That Romney chia pet looks like Robin Williams.

Me.and.Them
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:33 PM

lol it does. 

Quoting Kate_Momof3:

That Romney chia pet looks like Robin Williams.

 

JakeandEmmasMom
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:49 PM

 

Quoting Kate_Momof3:

That Romney chia pet looks like Robin Williams.

 OMG!  You're right!

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