ARIZONA CONFRONTING AWKWARD REALIZATION THAT GAY PEOPLE HAVE MONEY, BUY STUFF
PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)âThe state of Arizona found itself in the middle of a conundrum today as it awoke to the awkward realization that gay people have money and buy stuff.
Just days after the Arizona legislature passed a law that would enable businesses to discriminate against gays, it emerged that gays spend billions of dollars in Arizona each yearâan unexpected development that seemed to take many legislators by surprise.
Carol Foyler, a Tea Party Republican who supported the anti-gay law, said that the startling bombshell that gays play a role in the stateâs economy put her and her fellow lawmakers âin a tight spot.â
âQuite frankly, we were blindsided by this,â she said. âWe had no idea that gays had money and bought things just like regular people do.â
Acknowledging that her vote for the anti-gay law might have been calamitous for the stateâs economy, Ms. Foyler placed the blame for it squarely on the shoulders of one group: the gays themselves.
âHow was I supposed to know what gay people do with their money, etc., when I donât personally know any gay people?â she asked. âIâm sorry, but it was up to the gays to tell us.â
I bet you make your daddy proud