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Babylonian Chairnsaw Massacre: Glen Reviews Noah After Attending Screening in LA

Posted by on Mar. 24, 2014 at 10:56 PM
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2 moms liked this

 

‘Babylonian Chainsaw Massacre’: Glenn reviews Noah after attending screening in LA

Glenn spent an action-packed weekend in California, and he reflected on the experience on radio this morning. On Friday, Glenn addressed a crowd at David Horowitz’s West Coast Retreat in California over the weekend about the importance of culture and American history. On Saturday, Glenn had lunch with the Friends of Abe – a group of roughly 1,500 conservative-minded individuals in Hollywood who made headlines earlier this year when it was revealed they had been trying for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt status for nearly two years.

But perhaps the most surprising event on Glenn’s itinerary was a private screening of the soon to be released motion picture Noah at Paramount Studios. On Friday, Glenn had some harsh words for the movie that has already been panned by critics for its “aggressive environmentalism” and failure to mention God.

Perhaps in an effort to change the buzz ahead of the film’s release this week, Paramount executives reached out to Glenn and asked if he would like to join them for a screening of the movie. Admitting he felt like a bit of a “dirtball: on Friday for basing his critique purely on someone else’s review, Glenn decided to take Paramount up on its offer.

But would the screening change his mind?

Not exactly.

On radio this morning, Glenn did explain why the movie is “awful” – not for the reasons The Hollywood Reporter review listed – but for “100 other reasons.”

PLUS: Photos from Glenn’s tour of the Paramount Pictures studio backlot

Below is a partial transcript of Glenn’s review:

I went to Los Angeles this weekend after we talked about the movie Noah on Friday and not such a nice way. The producer of the movie, or executive vice president of Paramount called and found out I was in Los Angeles and asked if I would actually see the movie and judge it on its merits. He said the reviewer we were basing our comments on was completely wrong, and he kindly invited us to come to the studios and watch the final print of the movie on Saturday. And we did, because I felt like kind of a dirtball, basing my review on something that I hadn’t seen but on someone else’s review. That’s what people do to me. They don’t listen or watch and then they review. It was wrong of me to do. I want to say this: Everybody at Paramount was unbelievably gracious. And I would love, as I said to him after the movie, I would love to be able to come and report that the movie is great, but I can’t. It is awful, but it is not for the reasons that the reviewer said on Friday. It is awful for 100 other reasons.

Friday, we talked about the review. And in the review, it say it was a heavy-handed environmental movie and there was no mention of God… The review made it sound like this was a godless climate change movie. I believe that it is not a godless climate change movie. It’s more like Sinbad the Sailor meets Shining and Friday the 13th, with a sprinkle of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

And it plays as well as a movie that was just clipping all of that stuff together. Instead of referring to God as God, every reference in the movie is ‘the creator.’ That’s fine, but they are definitely talking about God. Noah doesn’t really seem to have a real good relationship with God. He sees some miracles, like oh, I don’t know, his whole family being saved. In an amazing scene, he plants a seed and an entire forest grows in the desert, while he is standing there. Then he looks into the tent and he’s like, ‘Kids, here’s the one for the ark.’ Really, Mr. Noah? That’s what you would say? You wouldn’t even go behold the awesome power of God. You wouldn’t go, ‘Whoa!’ That was weird… It’s so ridiculous, the entire thing. But he is talking to God occasionally…

If you are looking for a biblical movie, this is definitely not it. Others on the team disagreed with this. This was split. Half the team said they couldn’t take the environmentalism. I don’t think it’s an environmentalism thing as much as it’s just pro-animal and antihuman. I mean strongly antihuman, but it’s not the story of Noah that I was hoping for. If you are going for that, you will be horribly disappointed. If you are going for a campy, kind of bad, this is the movie to see. If you are looking for something good, you might not make it past the rock people because we nearly didn’t.

Giant rock people appear at almost the beginning of the movie, kind of like the tree people in Lord of the Rings, except not as well done and of course made of rock. Not quite as talkative. I suppose they won’t burn as easily as the tree people, but… don’t bother checking on the scriptural reference to the rock people…

Have you ever wondered, ‘Hey, how did Noah clear the forest that just sprung up?’ Of course the rock people that God sent down as spirits. Then they were encased in lava, and then they got up, they’re like, ‘Oh, we are watchers. We help Adam. We help you now too.’ You’re like honestly? I felt really bad, because as the rock people story line continued, we all got giggling fits and we started to laugh and mock the movie. And at one point looked over and realized the executive vice president of Paramount, who invited us was standing this, observing how we were reacting to it. And I’m like, ‘I don’t think we’re going to get out of here without telling him exactly how we feel because I think he probably knows at this point.’ Literally laughing at the rock people.

That’s not the biggest problem with Noah. The biggest problem for me was Noah himself. Maybe it’s just me. I’m a little different than some people. I always thought of Noah as more of a nice, gentle guy, prophet of God… I think of him more like that and less of the homicidal maniac that Paramount found in the Bible somehow or another… That is more of the Noah in the Babylonian Chainsaw Massacre – running around, not kidding, trying to kill his whole family… Really quite amazing.

Kathleen Parker in the Washington Post, she really liked the movie. She says:

I recently viewed the film and can confidently report the following: If you liked “Braveheart,” “Gladiator,” “Star Wars,” “The Lord of the Rings,” “Indiana Jones” or “Titanic,” you will like “Noah.” If you liked two or more of the above, you will love “Noah.” Your enjoyment increases exponentially with each movie checked above, though I should warn that “Titanic” made the cut for only one reason, the major difference between it and “Noah” being obvious. “Noah” also includes the essential love story or two, without which no story floats.

Kathleen, could I tell you something, honey? I don’t know what kind of medication you are on, but I loved all of those movies, and all of us hated Noah. We honestly had a conversation, ‘Is it too rude to get up and walk out now, because we’ve got other things to do. We can go collect rocks in the parking lot, where there’s other things we could do?’

[…]

I don’t care if you believe in the Noah story. I don’t believe if you think it’s an allegory, if you believe it’s complete fiction, it is entirely up to you. I happen to believe the story of Noah’s Ark is true. And after the invitation, we went and we really wanted to like it. We really did… I really want a good Noah movie.

Bill Maher is like, ‘You can’t be satisfied.’ Rock people, Bill. Rock people. And people like Bill Maher will say, ‘Well, you believe in a sky God.’ I don’t believe in rock people, okay? I have a hard time with that one. It’s not just a biblically bad movie because it treats a prophet of God like a lunatic. There’s no redeeming value in Noah, none. He hates people. I’m sorry. No prophet of God hates people. I never see him try to breach and say turn from your evil ways. Instead, he hides from people because he hates them so much.

He tries to kill his own family. To me, a prophet receives direct communication from God, and Noah is wrong about everything… In the end, the person who makes all the sense is Hermione from Harry Potter. I know she was always the smart one at Hogwarts; but in the ark, I would have liked the prophet of God Noah not to have to go to Hermione and say, ‘Really? We shouldn’t kill the whole family?’ It’s crazy. Crazy…

It’s a $100 million disaster. That’s what it is. They just don’t know what to do… I wish I could have brought different news to you, but I can’t. And I appreciate the people at Paramount understanding because I did talk to them after. It was a really uncomfortable 20 minutes afterwards. He was in there pitching. I wish I can, but I can’t. And I’m sorry. Next time – please invite me again and hopefully it will be a good movie.

by on Mar. 24, 2014 at 10:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
denise3680
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 7:46 AM

just cannot be happy, saying Creator is just not good enough, so what the entire movie is based out of the bible:/  never satisfied.  It is a very short story in the bible, so maybe they had to improve or expand on some of it to make it a full length feature.  Not everyone believes in the bible or its depictions, but the point is get them in, let them have a discussion aboutit and then move on from there.  Amazing, first you say Hollywood is the devil and when they make movies to satisfy everyone, you complain that it is not good enough or does not do what you want them to do:/  In reality, making Noah look alittle off balanced is not so far fetched.  i would think that someone building an ark would maybe have a screw loose.  maybe he was not the warm and fuzzy person that you think he should be, maybe he had to be a little ruthless inorder to get what needed to be done done.  Love all people, no it was not his place to love everyone or to try and save all when God himself condemned everyone except Noah and his family, if in fact it was all his family.  Interpretation is key here as with any story being told, its all in how you look at it and from what angle.

PamR
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:42 AM


Quoting denise3680:

just cannot be happy, saying Creator is just not good enough, so what the entire movie is based out of the bible:/  never satisfied.  It is a very short story in the bible, so maybe they had to improve or expand on some of it to make it a full length feature.  Not everyone believes in the bible or its depictions, but the point is get them in, let them have a discussion aboutit and then move on from there.  Amazing, first you say Hollywood is the devil and when they make movies to satisfy everyone, you complain that it is not good enough or does not do what you want them to do:/  In reality, making Noah look alittle off balanced is not so far fetched.  i would think that someone building an ark would maybe have a screw loose.  maybe he was not the warm and fuzzy person that you think he should be, maybe he had to be a little ruthless inorder to get what needed to be done done.  Love all people, no it was not his place to love everyone or to try and save all when God himself condemned everyone except Noah and his family, if in fact it was all his family.  Interpretation is key here as with any story being told, its all in how you look at it and from what angle.

Punctuation can be your friend and also make it much easier to decipher what you're trying to say.

PamR
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:45 AM

It's a movie.  The previews look interesting, but who knows?  There have been a number of movies made of Biblical stories and I doubt they are all precisely true to the stories in the Bible.  Why do we have such a problem seeing these characters in more human, less perfect, terms?  Noah was a human man. 

vic270
by Vic on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:56 AM
2 moms liked this

The story of Noah is a very important story from the word of God. You see the patience that God had for his people, wanting them to obey and gave them years and years to do it. Instead they thought  Noah was crazy and refused to listen to what was being taught as the years went by(kind of like today). The warnings were all there but no one was made to obey.(God gave man free will even in the days of Noah) Noah's heart was right and that is what God loved about him. If you are going to pick a charactor out of the bible and make a movie then why not base it on the facts that are written.If not why did not just use any name, write your on story and then you don't have to worry about the reviews being fact or fiction. When you make a movie about a charactor in the Bible, real christians will Know if it is true or not, just like Glen, and that way you can give credit where credit is due to God.

grandmab125
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this

 This review by Beck only gives the fact that they never say 'God' once in the whole movie a passing moment.

Come on people, 'rock people', Noah trying to kill his family, and evil Noah.  From what I understand from the review, this is more like really bad science fiction.

Leave it to Hollywood to do a hatchet job on a 'Biblical' movie.  But then again, we shouldn't expect that the generally anti-God, atheistic Hollywood crowd to actually do a Bible story as it was written in the Bible.  You don't have to believe in God and the Bible to do a good movie based on the Bible.

It would be refreshing to see a movie out of Hollywood that isn't trying to shove the green agenda down your throat for a change.  Some how they always work environmentalism into them all. 

denise3680
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 12:53 PM

so you got nothing to add. why am I not surprised!!!!!!!  It is very simple to read what I wrote but I get it, you have nothing of importance to add:/  Moving on

Quoting PamR:

 

Quoting denise3680:

just cannot be happy, saying Creator is just not good enough, so what the entire movie is based out of the bible:/  never satisfied.  It is a very short story in the bible, so maybe they had to improve or expand on some of it to make it a full length feature.  Not everyone believes in the bible or its depictions, but the point is get them in, let them have a discussion aboutit and then move on from there.  Amazing, first you say Hollywood is the devil and when they make movies to satisfy everyone, you complain that it is not good enough or does not do what you want them to do:/  In reality, making Noah look alittle off balanced is not so far fetched.  i would think that someone building an ark would maybe have a screw loose.  maybe he was not the warm and fuzzy person that you think he should be, maybe he had to be a little ruthless inorder to get what needed to be done done.  Love all people, no it was not his place to love everyone or to try and save all when God himself condemned everyone except Noah and his family, if in fact it was all his family.  Interpretation is key here as with any story being told, its all in how you look at it and from what angle.

Punctuation can be your friend and also make it much easier to decipher what you're trying to say.

 

grandmab125
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 1:21 PM
1 mom liked this

 Actually, paragraphs would make your posts easier to read.  When you don't use paragraphs, and the font is so small, it all kind of runs together.  It's easier to lose track of where you are reading when it's all one big paragraph.  Perhaps you could change the size of your font too.

This isn't a criticism, just a suggestion.

 

Quoting denise3680:

so you got nothing to add. why am I not surprised!!!!!!!  It is very simple to read what I wrote but I get it, you have nothing of importance to add:/  Moving on

Quoting PamR:

 

Quoting denise3680:

just cannot be happy, saying Creator is just not good enough, so what the entire movie is based out of the bible:/  never satisfied.  It is a very short story in the bible, so maybe they had to improve or expand on some of it to make it a full length feature.  Not everyone believes in the bible or its depictions, but the point is get them in, let them have a discussion aboutit and then move on from there.  Amazing, first you say Hollywood is the devil and when they make movies to satisfy everyone, you complain that it is not good enough or does not do what you want them to do:/  In reality, making Noah look alittle off balanced is not so far fetched.  i would think that someone building an ark would maybe have a screw loose.  maybe he was not the warm and fuzzy person that you think he should be, maybe he had to be a little ruthless inorder to get what needed to be done done.  Love all people, no it was not his place to love everyone or to try and save all when God himself condemned everyone except Noah and his family, if in fact it was all his family.  Interpretation is key here as with any story being told, its all in how you look at it and from what angle.

Punctuation can be your friend and also make it much easier to decipher what you're trying to say.

 

 

denise3680
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 4:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 you are right, I should have separated with paragraphs.  I had not expected to write so much:/  I think my kids changed the font size.

Quoting grandmab125:

 Actually, paragraphs would make your posts easier to read.  When you don't use paragraphs, and the font is so small, it all kind of runs together.  It's easier to lose track of where you are reading when it's all one big paragraph.  Perhaps you could change the size of your font too.

This isn't a criticism, just a suggestion.

 

Quoting denise3680:

so you got nothing to add. why am I not surprised!!!!!!!  It is very simple to read what I wrote but I get it, you have nothing of importance to add:/  Moving on

Quoting PamR:

 

Quoting denise3680:

just cannot be happy, saying Creator is just not good enough, so what the entire movie is based out of the bible:/  never satisfied.  It is a very short story in the bible, so maybe they had to improve or expand on some of it to make it a full length feature.  Not everyone believes in the bible or its depictions, but the point is get them in, let them have a discussion aboutit and then move on from there.  Amazing, first you say Hollywood is the devil and when they make movies to satisfy everyone, you complain that it is not good enough or does not do what you want them to do:/  In reality, making Noah look alittle off balanced is not so far fetched.  i would think that someone building an ark would maybe have a screw loose.  maybe he was not the warm and fuzzy person that you think he should be, maybe he had to be a little ruthless inorder to get what needed to be done done.  Love all people, no it was not his place to love everyone or to try and save all when God himself condemned everyone except Noah and his family, if in fact it was all his family.  Interpretation is key here as with any story being told, its all in how you look at it and from what angle.

Punctuation can be your friend and also make it much easier to decipher what you're trying to say.

 

 

 

UpSheRises
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 4:22 PM
2 moms liked this

I would consider Noah to be a disaster film. Not that i don't enjoy disaster films...i like the graphics and excitement...but i wouldn't call any of them "good" movies. Becks review makes it sound like a typical disaster movie with bad story and a crappy script.

The thing about bible story movies is that they shouldn't be bad. They are excellent stories. Whether or not you believe them to be true or the word of God or whatever is irrelevant. A book doesn't remain a top seller for thousands of years if it isn't any good.

Rock people...ugh...as if the story of Noah wasn't extraordinary enough.

grandmab125
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 5:02 PM

 Pesky kids.  LOL

 

Quoting denise3680:

 you are right, I should have separated with paragraphs.  I had not expected to write so much:/  I think my kids changed the font size.

Quoting grandmab125:

 Actually, paragraphs would make your posts easier to read.  When you don't use paragraphs, and the font is so small, it all kind of runs together.  It's easier to lose track of where you are reading when it's all one big paragraph.  Perhaps you could change the size of your font too.

This isn't a criticism, just a suggestion.

 

Quoting denise3680:

so you got nothing to add. why am I not surprised!!!!!!!  It is very simple to read what I wrote but I get it, you have nothing of importance to add:/  Moving on

Quoting PamR:

 

Quoting denise3680:

just cannot be happy, saying Creator is just not good enough, so what the entire movie is based out of the bible:/  never satisfied.  It is a very short story in the bible, so maybe they had to improve or expand on some of it to make it a full length feature.  Not everyone believes in the bible or its depictions, but the point is get them in, let them have a discussion aboutit and then move on from there.  Amazing, first you say Hollywood is the devil and when they make movies to satisfy everyone, you complain that it is not good enough or does not do what you want them to do:/  In reality, making Noah look alittle off balanced is not so far fetched.  i would think that someone building an ark would maybe have a screw loose.  maybe he was not the warm and fuzzy person that you think he should be, maybe he had to be a little ruthless inorder to get what needed to be done done.  Love all people, no it was not his place to love everyone or to try and save all when God himself condemned everyone except Noah and his family, if in fact it was all his family.  Interpretation is key here as with any story being told, its all in how you look at it and from what angle.

Punctuation can be your friend and also make it much easier to decipher what you're trying to say.

 

 

 

 

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