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News & Politics News & Politics

The One Group of People Americans Don’t Want Their Loved Ones to Marry

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2014 at 10:44 PM
  • 9 Replies
family_dinner
Believers only, please. 

Photo by wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

new study from the Pew Research Center shows that political polarization in the United States has reached levels only seen during the Civil War, but when it comes to our own families, we're not quite as divided. One of the questions Pew asks to gauge how seriously people are taking their identity politics these days is how upset would you be if an immediate family member—say, a child or a sibling—married someone outside of your identity parameters. The good news: Americans are okay with their family members marrying someone who isn't in their "tribe."

There are all different kinds of tribes, of course. When it came, for instance, to the question of how you'd feel if your family member married someone with a different party affiliation, the vast majority of Americans responded that they'd feel either "happy" or that it "doesn't matter." Even for strict partisans, this was mostly true. Strong conservatives approved of a family member marrying a Democrat 70 percent of the time and strong liberals approved of marrying a Republican 78 percent of the time. Similar numbers turned up for identity markers like "gun ownership" or "went to college," with most people being indifferent to these factors when it comes to bringing new people to family holiday dinners. 

Other good news is that opposition to interracial marriage, at least overt opposition, is also fairly low, with only 11 percent of Americans balking at the idea of a new family member of a different race. (How likely you are to bothered by racial mixing rose with levels of conservatism, with only one percent of strong liberals opposing interracial marriage and 23 percent of strong conservatives doing so.) And Americans are even more welcoming to foreigners, with only 7 percent of respondents opposing marriage to someone born and raised outside of the U.S.

There's one group, however, that continues to cause fear and loathing across the land: atheists. From Pew:

atheist marriage

Pew Research Center

Though Pew does not dig into this, the anomalous hostility to atheists above pretty much all other groups likely speaks more to ignorance than hatefulness. Most non-believers don't really talk about it much in their day-to-day life, because why would you? That means that most believers may think, probably  incorrectly, that they don't know any atheists, which makes it easier for ugly stereotypes to fill in the blanks. Perhaps the growing movement of visible atheists will help erode some of the fearful ignorance and provide a few families with a path out of grace before Thanksgiving dinner. All the atheists I know are all for digging right into the food.

by on Jun. 15, 2014 at 10:44 PM
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Replies (1-9):
-Celestial-
by Pepperlynn on Jun. 15, 2014 at 10:44 PM

Didn't see that coming (Sarcasm).

1stmuslimah
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 12:26 PM

It does not go over well in our culture. Most of us marry our first, second, or maybe 3rd cousin so we can keep our blood line. Just about everyone in my family are all first cousins and in the USA alone just from immediate siblings and their children and their children we make up at least a couple hundred. We are all very close too. We are together on a regular basis.

There are a couple Chaldean (Iraqi Christian) married into the family and 3 American. We accept all except of the Americans we will not even acknowledge her and trust me, the other 2 really had to prove their self to the rest of the family they were not accepted right away.

latashac
by Bronze Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 12:43 PM
Most people want their family to be happy and supoort them. I had an uncle disown me and my mother because I am with a white man. My mother because she didn't "set me straight". He is not missed. There are always going to be those types that think they know the best for everyone but thankfully they are less influential.
Rhodin
by Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 12:48 PM
It's probably because they're afraid their grandkids won't be baptized, and thus doomed to Hell. There was a thread in Mom Confessions about a MIL who had tried to get her grandson baptized by pretending it was a wedding. The poster only found out because she got invites to both the wedding and baptism for her own son by accident. People get really worked up by this.
Pema_Jampa
by Celeste on Jun. 16, 2014 at 12:57 PM

My parents threatened to disown me if I dated black men. 1st boyfriend was an AA guy at 14. LOL! Whoops.

bluerooffarm
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 1:10 PM

My parents never commented on the boys/men I dated.  Their reasoning was that if they disapproved a teen is more likely to push the issue and if they approved then a teen is more likely to walk away from a good thing.  So best to (as my mother said) "keep your trap shut and let it be."  I wonder how they would have responded to a poll like this though.

lizzielouaf
by Bronze Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 1:41 PM
1 mom liked this

The only guy my dad objected to was a guitar playing, long haired guy who drove a van. My father was having none of that.

1stmuslimah
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 10:12 PM

 

Quoting lizzielouaf:

The only guy my dad objected to was a guitar playing, long haired guy who drove a van. My father was having none of that.

 This made me giggle

turtle68
by Member on Jun. 17, 2014 at 5:00 AM

LOL  My culture embraces diversity.  My culture (tribe) has a wedding ceremony that doesnt allow for bloodlines to entwine for at least three branches.

I remember reading somewhere years ago that the further away from your bloodline and ethnic background the better looking your kids will be.....LOL  Makes my kids model material then!  LOL

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