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Any challanges with your marriage or relationship that had to do with strictly race? Whether from family members or from friends?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 15, 2011 at 11:37 AM
Replies (11-18):
iheartmiboys
by Group Owner on Nov. 28, 2011 at 9:58 AM
I know I hate to hear it also. My FIL let it be known that it was unacceptable. We are in a work in progess. My biggest fear is that when we visit them they won't be warm to me or the children. One of the kids is his bio grandson.

Quoting varza:

It hurts me when I hear that people lose their families because of falling in love with someone.

But for me no, my parents wanted me to be with him before we even got together. And my mom says she had an inkling  I would marry a black man when I told my grandfather when I was 14 that I was going to marry my then best friend, Jerome and I always seemed to be connected more with the black community.

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Mama_de_Aidan
by on Nov. 28, 2011 at 3:40 PM

 My family can't stand the fact that I am with my SO who is mexicano. I am sure you all know all the sterotypes about mexicanos, but you know can't groupd them all together! Not all of them are the same, there are some good ones out there. It's to the point that I don't feel comfortable bring my SO to family gatherings because my family is so racist. and it wouldn't be fair to him to be but in the situation.

iheartmiboys
by Group Owner on Nov. 28, 2011 at 4:40 PM
Oh wow that's too bad that some people are so simple minded. Like my DH parents they are conserverative Japanese people.

Quoting Mama_de_Aidan:

 My family can't stand the fact that I am with my SO who is mexicano. I am sure you all know all the sterotypes about mexicanos, but you know can't groupd them all together! Not all of them are the same, there are some good ones out there. It's to the point that I don't feel comfortable bring my SO to family gatherings because my family is so racist. and it wouldn't be fair to him to be but in the situation.

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varza
by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 11:18 PM

It's very difficult with Asian families - especially ones who are very traditional. My brother was not acknowledged by his now MIL when he was dating Soon-Chon (he was living in Korea and met her there) until he stated that he wanted to marry her. And one of the reasons they left Korea was because of how my nephew would of been treated for being of mixed race - its not considered acceptable in Korea, especially in the small city they were living. My brother is fully accepted now - even if there are some issues with the cultures. Like when my nephew was being born, men are not allowed in the room and he was kicked out and told to go home and get dressed properly (he was wearing shorts and sandels and it was middle of winter).

Where do your in-laws live?

Quoting iheartmiboys:

I know I hate to hear it also. My FIL let it be known that it was unacceptable. We are in a work in progess. My biggest fear is that when we visit them they won't be warm to me or the children. One of the kids is his bio grandson.

Quoting varza:

It hurts me when I hear that people lose their families because of falling in love with someone.

But for me no, my parents wanted me to be with him before we even got together. And my mom says she had an inkling  I would marry a black man when I told my grandfather when I was 14 that I was going to marry my then best friend, Jerome and I always seemed to be connected more with the black community.


iheartmiboys
by Group Owner on Dec. 2, 2011 at 11:05 AM
The in- laws live in Japan. They are traditional. My DH aunt on his dads side married outside her race (white) and her father disowned her. They are really tradition. It's like our family and DH's aunt are the only ones in USA. It's like we're outsiders

Quoting varza:

It's very difficult with Asian families - especially ones who are very traditional. My brother was not acknowledged by his now MIL when he was dating Soon-Chon (he was living in Korea and met her there) until he stated that he wanted to marry her. And one of the reasons they left Korea was because of how my nephew would of been treated for being of mixed race - its not considered acceptable in Korea, especially in the small city they were living. My brother is fully accepted now - even if there are some issues with the cultures. Like when my nephew was being born, men are not allowed in the room and he was kicked out and told to go home and get dressed properly (he was wearing shorts and sandels and it was middle of winter).

Where do your in-laws live?


Quoting iheartmiboys:

I know I hate to hear it also. My FIL let it be known that it was unacceptable. We are in a work in progess. My biggest fear is that when we visit them they won't be warm to me or the children. One of the kids is his bio grandson.



Quoting varza:

It hurts me when I hear that people lose their families because of falling in love with someone.

But for me no, my parents wanted me to be with him before we even got together. And my mom says she had an inkling  I would marry a black man when I told my grandfather when I was 14 that I was going to marry my then best friend, Jerome and I always seemed to be connected more with the black community.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
hellfur58
by on Dec. 29, 2011 at 1:41 PM

My husband's family loves me. My family on the other hand are racists and don't like non-white people and they hate Muslims and Middle Eastern men. They treat my poor husband like a dog. We went to visit my mom and two youngest siblings and DH wasn't allowed to get out of the car and wasn't allowed in the house. Pissed me off. My brother (he's 9) is raicst against black people and said that my husband is NOT related to him. I don't think they understand that I am married (my brother seems to be under the impression that I am 'dating' my husband). They don't like Dh's family either. Because of their racist attitude and not liking Saudis or Muslims they will not be allowed to see our children at all.  Thankfully once DH gets his Ph D and I get my education done we're going home to Saudi Arabia or possibly Turkey where DH really wants to live so they'll never see our children.

shstrong44
by on Dec. 30, 2011 at 3:17 PM

Can you keep us in your prayers? We have been asked to consider a sib group of 5. We then would be at the end of our adoption journey. 

ms-superwoman
by on May. 16, 2012 at 1:27 PM

 Most of my family has disowned my son and I.

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