Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I a bad mom/wife?

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:06 AM
  • 8 Replies
  • 357 Total Views

 

Poll

Question: Am I a bad mom?

Options:

YES!

No

Kinda


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 9

View Results

I'm 17 and a mother to a 3 month old boy and married. This morning at 2am my son woke up and wouldnt stop crying I did everything! My husband has to work a double tomorrOw so he didnt wake up of course he doesn't wake up anyways... I got so overwhelmed I said "LIAM WHY ARE YOU CRYING!" and my husband woke up hearing that and yelled at me saying I need to get out of his house and I'm a terrible mother. I'm so overwhelmed and he doesnt seem to care. Am I a bad mom?
CafeMom Tickers
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:06 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
shadow_lark
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:56 AM
1 mom liked this

No...I've done it too.  its hard to listen to baby cry and not know why he's crying or what to do to help.  If you are feeling stressed in the future you can always wake up your dh and pass the baby on.  Doesnt matter if he's working 20 hours straight the next day, he's a daddy and this is what he's there for.  trust me, this is a lesson i had to learn the hard way with my first.  lean on your dh...

also, if you are totally overwhelmed, it is ok to put the baby down somewhere safe and walk away for five or ten minutes.  it wont hurt him, but it will give you a chance to work out some frustration and breathe.

do you get any time to yourself?  that can help a lot with the stress.  babies are demanding, and as much as we love them, we all need time to recharge and do something without someone demanding our every ouce of attention.

are you back home now?  *hugs* things will get better.  just tell yourself this: tomorrow will be a better day.  feel free to pm if you ever need someone to talk to.

stockton13
by Harley on Jan. 16, 2012 at 3:58 AM
1 mom liked this

 You are not a bad mother. Your seventeen, it's natural sometimes. When I had my first son at seventeen I got overwhelmed a few times, but instead of yelling I sat him down and took a few minutes to calm down. It always worked. Don't feel bad about it. Your husband needs to be more understanding. My husband works full time and I am a stay at home mother so he wants to sleep while the kids are up at 3am. I told him thats not how it works. We both made our kids, we will both stay up and care for them if need be. Hang in there mama, and next time your feeling overwhelmed, sat him down and take a few minutes for yourself.

SCL_HF
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:39 PM
2 moms liked this

I just did the same thing last night and DH said the same thing minus the "terrible mother" part. He just told me that taking care of and raising DS is a HARD job, harder than anything he does and he thinks I deserve a night to just go to a movie, go to the outlet malls with friends, or go have a drink. Raising a tiny one is the hardest job there is and sometimes is it completely and utterly overwhelming and having a momentary "GAAAAAHHHHH!!!" moment is normal but it is definitely a sign that you need some "me" time. Try to schedule some time out asap. :)

PS my DS's name is Liam too! :D

sturrfryy
by New Member on Jan. 22, 2012 at 3:38 PM

thanks y'all (:

CafeMom Tickers
07Mommyof3
by Member on Jan. 28, 2012 at 2:40 PM

It happens to all of us. The first night home with my first born, She would not stop crying and I was 17 and my now husband and I did not live together beause I was at home and my family was not supporting me what so ever. I cried with her. I held her and cried. I was on the phone with her daddy and my MIL and I was in tears I couldn't get her to calm down and I was a wreck.. But it of course got better. I laid her down in her crib and I got her a bottle and she slept me and my husband for the first 2.5 years of her life I layed in the bed next to me and fed her. and cried and eventually she looked at me and I stopped crying and so did she. Everything was ok then.. Babies feed off of the emotions around them and if your upset your baby will be upset; it doesn't make you a bad mom because you get overwhelmed.. Just remember that it will always get better and you will miss the nights your baby needs you when they are older. My oldest is 5 and tells me she can do it all by herself. It breaks my heart lol

parisonmom
by on Jan. 28, 2012 at 2:50 PM

Momma, your husband nedds to be more understanding. I had my first baby at the age of 19 when i had my son, getting up feeding him, changing him and putting him down to sleep. Sometimes I usually got overwhelmed it happens. What I did(sens my dh wasnt in my babies life when he was newborn) I did everything i put the baby back in the crib or whatever you use than i take a 5 minute timeout and walk out to the livingroom sat there cleared my mind, then went back and if the baby wasnt already sleeping i sang to the baby. It really does help if you give yourself a 5 minute time out it help me. If i was lucky when he was a newborn i would get 3-4 hour sleep, I never had my baby on a feeding time. My advice to you is talk to your DH about it all and say your overwhelmed about being a new mother and see if that works or do my routine about 5 minute time out. Or even 2 minutes I was a new mother so i was and everybody else was in your shoes.

sturrfryy
by New Member on Jan. 29, 2012 at 9:57 AM
1 mom liked this

I tell him constantly and all he says is "this is what you wanted, get over it."

Quoting parisonmom:

Momma, your husband nedds to be more understanding. I had my first baby at the age of 19 when i had my son, getting up feeding him, changing him and putting him down to sleep. Sometimes I usually got overwhelmed it happens. What I did(sens my dh wasnt in my babies life when he was newborn) I did everything i put the baby back in the crib or whatever you use than i take a 5 minute timeout and walk out to the livingroom sat there cleared my mind, then went back and if the baby wasnt already sleeping i sang to the baby. It really does help if you give yourself a 5 minute time out it help me. If i was lucky when he was a newborn i would get 3-4 hour sleep, I never had my baby on a feeding time. My advice to you is talk to your DH about it all and say your overwhelmed about being a new mother and see if that works or do my routine about 5 minute time out. Or even 2 minutes I was a new mother so i was and everybody else was in your shoes.


CafeMom Tickers
parisonmom
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 12:51 PM
It is OK. I was in those shoes explain to him that when he gets home from work that it is "YOUR" turn to relax for a few hours or so. Don't let him win by having excuses part being a father is helping the mother. Tell him if he don't help that bondvbetween a baby and father will disappear. I should know it happened to my son and my dh.



Quoting sturrfryy:

I tell him constantly and all he says is "this is what you wanted, get over it."

Quoting parisonmom:

Momma, your husband nedds to be more understanding. I had my first baby at the age of 19 when i had my son, getting up feeding him, changing him and putting him down to sleep. Sometimes I usually got overwhelmed it happens. What I did(sens my dh wasnt in my babies life when he was newborn) I did everything i put the baby back in the crib or whatever you use than i take a 5 minute timeout and walk out to the livingroom sat there cleared my mind, then went back and if the baby wasnt already sleeping i sang to the baby. It really does help if you give yourself a 5 minute time out it help me. If i was lucky when he was a newborn i would get 3-4 hour sleep, I never had my baby on a feeding time. My advice to you is talk to your DH about it all and say your overwhelmed about being a new mother and see if that works or do my routine about 5 minute time out. Or even 2 minutes I was a new mother so i was and everybody else was in your shoes.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)