Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Hello Group - First Topic Question - Combating the nay sayers

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 11:26 AM
  • 6 Replies
  • 240 Total Views

We all have them - the well-meaning relatives or friends who say things like "well when you die your son will be all alone in the world without siblings" or "Your son wont learn to share being an only child"

So what do you say to refute the well meaning but often morbid and insulting statements made to you as the parent (s) of an only child?


by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 11:26 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
Shaken1976
by Group Owner on Jan. 4, 2012 at 11:28 AM

It totally depends on my mood.  Sometimes I just tell them that my child is well adjusted and doing great as an only....  Once I told them we had another kid....but DD ate them. 

 

On another note....we need more people in the group....and do you want to be an admin?

FooLynRoo
by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 11:30 AM


Quoting Shaken1976:

It totally depends on my mood.  Sometimes I just tell them that my child is well adjusted and doing great as an only....  Once I told them we had another kid....but DD ate them. 


On another note....we need more people in the group....and do you want to be an admin?

I will hussle for parental units with singular off spring - however I will pass on the admin off - I do thank thee though!

VannaMae307
by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 11:36 AM

I say "the thought of another child makes me want to vomit" and they're usually so taken aback that I get no argument. either that or I say "I just don't feel right since the cancer treatment" and again, they're so awkwardly taken aback, no room to argue. If I feel like an actual reason I will say something like "I will do my best to socialize him with other kids" and "he does very well with other kids his age, we are still working on normal issues for his age, but other than that no problem"

It really depends who it is...for some reason the cashiers at the commissary ask me alot, and I just say "nope, no more" over and over. LOL

PhyllisGB
by New Member on Jan. 4, 2012 at 11:52 AM

My daughter was special needs...for about 3-4 years.  People said "oh, you're afraid to have another."  Well, basically at my age back then, I had no more hormones left.  That said, I don't think I was cut out for more than 1!  I'm very happy with just one.

My mom was always "you're indulging her" -- I had to, every time, tell her "please do NOT say that."  What is ironic, now she has dementia & always asks "how are your children?"  So sweet, really!  :*-)

littlelimom
by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 8:22 PM

I was having people tell me while I was still pregnant that I needed to have at least one more. I was beside myself. I just tell people now that we'll think about having another child in a few more years. When I really want to say to  them,"Hey! the number of children my uterus carries is none of your business!". =)

mom2k12
by New Member on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:02 PM
2 moms liked this

Hi Moms,

Newbie here!!  I am the mother of two kids.  I am in this group because I am an only child.  Even though things are different for kids growing up now compared to when I grew up in the '80's, I'm sure some things are the same.

Even now, as an adult, when I have told people that I am an only child. They say the same things. "oh, you got everything you wanted." Or, you were spoiled.

As a small child, I wanted siblings.  When my playmates had to go home, I would cry.   As I got older, I learned to entertain myself. Most importantly, I learned to be alone and not be lonely.

What was the first major adjustment for me came when I was a freshman in college and had to share a dorm room.  Even though I had always had friends and was a giving person, it was really hard to share my living space with another person my age.  If you grew up with siblings, it is hard to understand what I am talking about.  Even if you had your own room, siblings always invade each other's space.  I made the adjustment and found that I liked having roommates.

Now, the adjustment is the constant bickering and picking between my two kids.  They are 13 and 17 and I am so not used to the sibling interaction thing!!  I can't believe people live like this for several years!  I can't believe I am living like this(LOL)!

Just know this, I AM SO GLAD THAT I GREW UP AS AN ONLY CHILD!  The love and attention that I received from my parents was amazing!!  I had so many opportunities that I would not have gotten had another child been in the household.   Please don't ever question your decision to have one child.  If you wanted more and were unable to, don't feel like your child is suffering. Your child isn't suffering. 

 

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)