I have been through this personally. I have a few friendships that I had considered to be toxic. I strongly believe in havin personal boundaries and loving people from a distance. I would tell my friends that I love them and would always be there for them. I would slowly seperate myself from them and would end up talking to them a little less. I was in a place that I couldn't handle the drama or the negative attitudes. I still will check up on them and occationally we will get together. I also would make sure that I filled my time with positive people who I look up to.
I have to say I haven't had any toxic friendships with anyone, but know people who have. I think we all grow apart at some point, some people change for the good and some for the bad, some grow up and some never grow up. The way I see it is if you feel a friend is a stumbling block for you one way or another, holding you back somehow or leading you down the wrong path then you need to break the relationship, that's not a true friend imo.
I too have been in the situation where my friends were toxic. I could handle a lot of things but one friend in particular was lying not only to me but about me to mutual friends and really bashing me behind my back. It was easy to let that "friend" go but I see with you it's not particular things, just generally growing on your part. Can you just try to distance yourself and see how it goes from there?
Have you tried to sit down and have this conversation with her regarding your feelings on her negativity? If not I would, maybe your happiness would renew her faith and she could also become alittle more positive.
If you value her at all, the friendship doesnt need to be cut loose and if she cant find a way to be positive - just take a "breather". Send her a text once per week, or mail a card with somethings that have been going on with you. Just tell her you have been busy with somethings, but plan on getting together soon.
Good Luck.
Quoting angie2568:Have you tried to sit down and have this conversation with her regarding your feelings on her negativity? If not I would, maybe your happiness would renew her faith and she could also become alittle more positive.
If you value her at all, the friendship doesnt need to be cut loose and if she cant find a way to be positive - just take a "breather". Send her a text once per week, or mail a card with somethings that have been going on with you. Just tell her you have been busy with somethings, but plan on getting together soon.
Good Luck.
I would just tell her "I am a realist and I am really cutting all ties with you, if you continue to make comments to me in regards to my life". Leave it at that and dont make contact for a while.
Good luck - at that point I would have just blown up
Quoting jac77:
Yeah. I've tried multiple times. She informs me she's not negative but, a realist. And if I just accept that it's all gonna end one day than it will lessen the blow. THEN she informed me she wanted to help w the wedding. Which I considered but, told her we decided to elope. Not courthouse elope just simple. She than says, she believes how people treat their weddings is a good indicator of how they'll treat their marriages. :/
Quoting angie2568:
Have you tried to sit down and have this conversation with her regarding your feelings on her negativity? If not I would, maybe your happiness would renew her faith and she could also become alittle more positive.
If you value her at all, the friendship doesnt need to be cut loose and if she cant find a way to be positive - just take a "breather". Send her a text once per week, or mail a card with somethings that have been going on with you. Just tell her you have been busy with somethings, but plan on getting together soon.
Good Luck.
When we first bought out house the lady across from me befriended me but not so much for friendship but more so for a babysitter... Boy did I goof she asked me once to take her boy back and some time forth to school I ended up doing that for 4/5 months... Them her son scratched up our car with broken glass I told her no more rides... She was mad but seemed to get over it then later she was telling me all the time her youngest was sick could I please go get him!! I would come back she would not be tending to a sick baby she was out side smoking!!! So she was just using me for what ever could get...
Then as time went on she seemed to be getting worse not just asking for favors all the time but abusive with her kids n dh I am not sure what finally happened but I do know her father ended up moving in with them still there to this day!! and I think its a good thing cause if seems he is the only one that can some what control her... I always thought she still needed adult supper vision and its helped her out quite a bit:) she know longer bothers me we wave across the street maybe talk every few months thank God that's over:)
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Dresses 4/17
- jac77
on Jul. 2, 2012 at 6:57 PM