I'm pretty sure I'm being insane, but someone talk me through this..
So I posted in CWCB and even though they told me exactly what I knew they were I just still feel the need to talk about it..
I have a wonderful job opportunity. Its just a couple of miles from my house and right across the street from where my husband works. One of my best friends work there and she said that the other people who work there are great. Its pretty much an office job. I would write passes for people coming on the military base as well as help create ID's. The job is from 7:30-4..
Honestly, it sounds like just the type of job I would like. My hesitation comes from being home for the past two years enjoying life with a baby. I LOVE being a SAHM. I plan to homeschool Lorelei and everything. But right now we are so tight on money. Once bills are paid nothing is left. The only reason we still have internet is because I have to have it for school.
I am so scared of putting Lorelei in daycare. I'm sure she'll be fine. She will enjoy the other kids.. I'm scared I will be miserable at work thinking of all the fun I could be having with her at home, or all the cleaning I could be avoiding.. hahaha..
I'm scared I'm going to get there and feel trapped.. I'm going to hate not being a SAHM and then feel like I can't quit.. I don't want to feel stuck.. Obligations make me feel closterphobic.. I know that sounds crazy, but big things like that really do make me feel like I'm stuck, even if it is a good thing..
The good news is that it pays as much, maybe a little more, than what my husband makes so I could double our income. It can get us out of debt and give us some spending money.. So then when I'm not at work we can actually go out and do fun stuff instead of being stuck at home all the time with no money.. Honestly if it wasn't for the money I wouldn't even be considering the job.. We just need the money so bad, and this seems like a job I could enjoy if I can just let myself.
So tomorrow I will be taking in my resume. My friend has already talked to her boss.. I hope after all of this worry and stuff I get the job. as much as I'm freaking out about it and doubting it I really do want it. Seeing the light at the end of the debt tunnel is feeling awesome.