Wrote a spoof of 50 shades...
Would you read it?
Here's a sample, but it would be better polished in the finished product.
Ana is with Chris, He says to her "I want you to do something for me. "I would do anything for you Chris."
"Good girl, how do you feel about mascots?"
"Mascots? I think they're fun at games..."
"Oh they're more than just fun at games, Ana, they are much more fun than you know."
"Oh?"
"Ana?"
"Yes, Chris?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes, I trust you."
"Good Girl, I want you to put this on."
Ana couldn't believe her eyes. Chris reached into the massive closet and pulled out a costume, but not just any costume. It was a mascot costume.
"What is that?" Ana asked quizzickly.
"It's a moascot costume."
"I know that, but which one?"
"The Standford Tree, I've always wanted to fuck it and Ana, you will look so irresistable in it."
"You think so?"
"I know so, will you wear it for me?"
Ana had to ask herself, was she willing to do this? Was she willing to put on this costume and let Chris have his way with her? She didn't know how she felt about putting on such an outfit, but one look at Chris's eyes and she knew she couldn't say no.
"Yes, I'll wear the costume for you."
Ok, last thing I'm sharing until I figure it out and put it all together.
This is a different scene, mocking quite a few scenes from the book.
Ana looked at the table set before her. There's so much food she thought to herself. How can two people eat this much? Chris pulls out the chair indicating for Ana to sit. Ana takes a seat in the empty chair, looking at all the food.
"Tonight I have something special planned," Chris declares, with a glint in his eye.
"What would that be?" Ana asked unsure if she wanted to know the answer.
"I want it to be a surprise."
"Oh," was all Ana managed to say, her thoughts racing as to what Chris had in store for her.
"Eat up Ana," Chris says as he piles his plate with food.
Ana looks at the food and chooses a few items from the table and begins to slowly eat. Chris stares back at Ana, the look of lust in his eye. Ana opens her mouth to take a bite, Chris opens his mouth with her. Ana closes her mouth over the food sliding the fork out from between her lips. Chris closes his eyes for a second, savoring the moment as if he was the fork between her lips.
"Ana, I love the way you eat," he says huskily.
"You do?" Ana says with her mouth full.
"I wish I could be the food entering your mouth and sliding down your throat, being digested by your stomach, and coming out as excrement from your anus," Chris said dreamily.
"Oh," Ana said dully not sure what to think.
"Eat more Ana, I need you to eat."
"I'm not so sure I want to eat more, Ana replied quietly.
"Ana you must eat, you need to eat, I need you to eat, Chris said grabbing an Apple pie and shoving it to her face. "Open your mouth Ana, he said as he brought the pie to her face.
Ana could smell the pie, it was after all partially in her nose, she opened her mouth, and her mouth was bombarded with cinnamon, sugar, syrup, apple and crust, all the components of the pie. It tasted good.
"Ah Nom," Ana said, her mouth overwhelmed with the pie.
"Chew Ana, chew the pie to a fine puree, show me Ana, show me as you chew. I want to see your teeth grind it."
Ana had no choice, if she didn't want to choke she had to chew the pie. There was so much pie she couldn't close her mouth. She chewed open mouth, some of the pie dribbling down her chin. Chris reached over and wiped the pie mixed with drool from her chin, with his index finger. He then proceeded to lick his finger.
"I love how your chewed up food taste, Ana,"
Ana swallowed hard, What is all this about, she thought to herself. Chris stared back at her, with the same look of longing on his face. It seems shoving the pie in Ana's face, only made him long for more.
"Was that good?" Chris wispered.
"It was overwhelmingly good," Ana replied simply.
"Did you like it," Chris asked with anticipation.
"I liked the pie, I would have wanted more, shame most of it is on my face and around me in crumbles."
"Oh Ana there will be more, so much more, I have plans for you," Chris said as the look of lust increases in his eyes.
"More pie," Ana asks timidly.
"Oh yes, Ana, more pie, and other things."
Ana's eyes went wide, Other thing? What could they be? She asked herself. Chocolate? her inner fatty asked. Now that's something I could get excited about! Ana's inner fatty began to dance, the dance didn't last long. Ana's inner fatty got so excited and danced so enthusiastically, that she collapsed on the nearby couch, panting from loss of breath.
I don't know about this one ^^ DH found it funny. I was going for funny, but I also think it comes off as being really really weird.
Quoting juicebox.:LMAO Write more!!
Whow ants to try this recipe with me?
- repunzel17
on May. 7, 2012 at 4:39 PM