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How do you get along with the other family?

Posted by on May. 26, 2012 at 2:46 PM
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im having issues with the bf and his family. his mother doesnt work, his sister has 2 kids pregnant with the 3rd she doesnt work. The boyfriend works alittle but could be looking for a full time job for the summer. They havent paid for anything and has only took her to 2 appts.

and everytime she gets upset with me or her stepdad she threatens to move in with them. They cant pay their bills or have enough food in the house. I blew up the other day while the boyfriend was here when she threatened to move out and was packing. I would not let her take the baby stuff my friends and family have given her and i packed her some food so she could atleast eat for a little while. I told her infront of him if that is the kind of life she wants for her son then go. i wasnt going to fight anymore.

My husband feels as if they are brain washing her when she is around them. I am just tired and drained. I work and also have a 7yr with adhd,odd, anxiety, he has speech  and ot appts soon will have to go for vision therapy plus he has learning disabilities. I cant do everything and pay for everything for them. im barely getting by myself.

just wondering if you dont agree with the other family. do you keep it to yourself or voice your opinion?

 

 

by on May. 26, 2012 at 2:46 PM
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Replies (1-8):
mrsvixen
by Group Owner on May. 26, 2012 at 4:03 PM

Hailey lives with her dad until Sept or Oct. (her mom's a junkie and not in her life), and we've never met her dad yet. Austin and Hailey have been a couple forB 1 year plus and he's always said no to meeting Austin.

It's a very hard situation that your in. Besides the pregnant part, it sounds like my 16 year old dd. She lives with her dad full time and when she's here, if I try to disipline her at all, she'll just go home.

As hard as it is, if she wants to threaten to move out, and even does - I think you need to let her. Tough love, otherwise, she'll always know how to push your buttons.

You've got enough to deal with your youngest, and you can't take on him and his famly too.hugs

JanetR74
by Member on May. 27, 2012 at 6:43 AM

 I agree with Mrsvixen, that sometimes they do need tough love.  You have your hands full with your youngest and sometimes they have to find out the hard way that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

TiggerGrl772
by Member on May. 27, 2012 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Boy, oh boy.....do I know some of the feelings to. My 16 yr old DS lives with his dad in Seattle and his dad us not very supportive of them having this baby, cause he doesn't like her side if the family, though I have never met them, can't say I care too much for them either. My DS's GF is 15 and has a horrible home life. Her mom doesn't live with at home and frankly does not give a crap what her DD does...her dad, whom she lives with is a drunk and is always calling her bad names and her sister is a drug addict...ugghhh. And now they want to come and live with me here in Cali. They're suppose to be here mid July and the baby is due August 17.
mrsvixen
by Group Owner on May. 27, 2012 at 1:52 PM
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wow, is that every going to be a adjustment! How are they going to support themselves?

Hailey didn't have a good home life either. Her mom's a junkie, so she moved in with her dad a few years ago. She has a very good relationship with him thank goodness, but it's strange that he's never wanted to meet Austin.

She was sooooooooooooo afraid of telling him she was pregnant. When she sat him down and told him she had something to discuss, he thought SHE was back on the drugs. He was really upset at first, mentioned abortion, but she was already 13 weeks. Once she had the ultrasound and brought home the picture, he's accepted it and even boughten things for the baby.

Still haven't met him though...

Quoting TiggerGrl772:

Boy, oh boy.....do I know some of the feelings to. My 16 yr old DS lives with his dad in Seattle and his dad us not very supportive of them having this baby, cause he doesn't like her side if the family, though I have never met them, can't say I care too much for them either. My DS's GF is 15 and has a horrible home life. Her mom doesn't live with at home and frankly does not give a crap what her DD does...her dad, whom she lives with is a drunk and is always calling her bad names and her sister is a drug addict...ugghhh. And now they want to come and live with me here in Cali. They're suppose to be here mid July and the baby is due August 17.


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mandynjohnsmom
by Member on May. 27, 2012 at 2:43 PM
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thanks everyone. I guess ill just have to let her do what she wants and let her see who really is there for her and the baby.

mrsvixen
by Group Owner on May. 28, 2012 at 3:25 PM
It`s so hard to watch our children make mistakes *hugs* even if we do know what`s best, we need to let them learn
JanetR74
by Member on May. 29, 2012 at 7:44 AM

 I agree, sometimes as hard as it is they have to learn for themselves.  I think that when I was younger I learned more from my mistakes than from the things I did right. 

xMommaKayx
by New Member on May. 29, 2012 at 8:09 PM
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We are cautious around the bf and his family.  They are always nice to our faces, but I hear things that they do that make my head spin and on some occasions I have wanted to drive the 9 hours to go rescue my sd and her baby.

Sometimes I wish that my sd did not tell me the things that she has.  All I can do is tell her that we are here to support her and do whatever she needs when she needs it.  I try not to bash her bf and his family.  There are some decisions that she needs to make herself. 

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