Ask the Expert: Building Confidence & Self-Esteem in Girls
Does your daughter have body image issues? Do you worry that her lack of confidence could lead her to poor performance in school or being bullied? Do you need ideas to get the conversation about self-esteem started?
CafeMom is excited to welcome Jess Weiner to the Strong Women. Strong Girls Group.
Jess serves as Dove's Global Ambassador for Self-Esteem. She has spent more than 17 years at the center of women’s and girls' social issues and authored two best-selling books, A Very Hungry Girl and Life Doesn’t Begin 5 Pounds From Now. She is currently working on her third book—helping mothers and daughters create ultimate and lasting confidence in their lives.
Post your questions about how to build girls' confidence and self-esteem until the end of June. We'll post Jess' replies in July.
At what age do they usually start developing their self esteem from their peers and not their family? Thank you! :)
My husband and I have both struggled with weight issues. I am scared my children will prone to the same thing. We have started eating healthy and working out to set a good example for our children. I am just curious if one of my girls would happen to become overweight as she gets older. What is the best way to help her lose weight without destroying her self esteem? Thanks. :)
My daughter quiet and shy. A year or two ago she would hang with bullies in school and behave as they do to keep them from bullying her. Now she has a friend whom she sticks to like glue. The girl isn't a bully from what I've picked up but she's 10 and bigger than I am, I'm 5'4 190 lbs. My daughter is 10 years old and I'm worried that she doesn't know how to make her own decisions. Is there anything I can do to help her become more of an individual?
Quoting kirbymom:I'll tell you what I did when my first child was born. When she was in the womb, I just talked to her every day and told her she was going to be born strong, beautiful and smart, confident, compassionate. I said these things over and over again to her and even whe she was born I kept repeating the words only slightly different. I just said that she was all these things and not to listen to anyone who said different. As she got older she had a confidence in herself that even I didn't have at her age. Now she is 16, and is all those things not just to her mother or her friends but to herself. There is no one that could brow beat her or put her down.
It what she was instilled with as she grew up and you can do the same with your daughter(s).
Quoting KaylaMillar:
My daughter just turned 2. What are some good way to build confidence at a young age?
i really love this advice
Quoting Madelaine:I love this!!
Quoting kirbymom:I'll tell you what I did when my first child was born. When she was in the womb, I just talked to her every day and told her she was going to be born strong, beautiful and smart, confident, compassionate. I said these things over and over again to her and even whe she was born I kept repeating the words only slightly different. I just said that she was all these things and not to listen to anyone who said different. As she got older she had a confidence in herself that even I didn't have at her age. Now she is 16, and is all those things not just to her mother or her friends but to herself. There is no one that could brow beat her or put her down.
It what she was instilled with as she grew up and you can do the same with your daughter(s).
Quoting KaylaMillar:
My daughter just turned 2. What are some good way to build confidence at a young age?
My 4 year old, soon to be 5, is extreemely confident and seems to have really high self-esteem, how can I help encourage it, while keeping from becoming too self-centered?
I try to compliment her on her intelligence, helpfulness, generosity, basically traits other than physical ones.
My daughter just turned 12. Her self confidence and self esteem is so low. She plays softball and she is the pitcher and she feels she isn't good enough and she thinks that she is to fat (she is not). She thinks right now everything and everyone is against her. The mood swings and all is taking all I can do to not pull my hair out yet alone hers (not saying I am pulling hers out). I just want her to feel better about herself. She is a beautiful young girl and she doesn't see it.
My 9 year old daughter is heavier than all her siblings. The kids at school make fun of her and she has a hard time making "good to her" friends. As she was growing up people always commented on how ahead she was in her talking and seemed so self assured. It is changing as she is getting older. As she sees that people look at her strangely and treat her differently. I have always gone out of my way to protect her and tell her what is beautiful about her. A friend recently asked if she was maybe an Asperger's child. I have read a little about it but she doesn't lack the ability to make eye contact or speak up, in fact she is the child that make the inappropriate comments out of nowhere. It was cute and funny when she was a small child but as she is getting older I worry that she wont adjust well to the real world and social cues and expectations. To me I always knew she was a little different, but that was what I loved about her. Most adults called it spunky, now it is annoying to most adults... How do I encourage her to be her but still teach her social expectations?
My daughter is 11 and will be 12 in Feb. She has terrible body image, and I do not understand why. She is a little overweight, but I was at that age too, and I had to grow into my size. She is so beautiful, and I tell her all of the time. When she says she is fat, I tell her that she is not, and that she shouldn't be worried about her weight at this age. I also try to teach them to eat healthy, but I never bring it up, while saying it is so you won't get fat. She believes she is pretty but only in the face, and then she says she is fat and that is the only thing she HATES about herself. I hate that she feels this way. I did too at her age, but it was because my dad would tell me I was fat and wouldn't let me eat breakfast with him and my brother, and also would punish me for getting a c on my report card by making me exercise. It stayed with me forever, and I would never make my children feel that way. Now my 9 year old is starting to talk about being fat, and she doesn't even have baby fat. I just don't understand why they are having these body image issues at these ages. I wish I could do something about it. I know when I started to get in my teens all of my baby fat started to move around to the appropriate places, and I try to tell her that without me sounding like I am actually saying she is fat. What do I do???
Happy Mothers's Day!
- Cafe Kate
on Jun. 1, 2012 at 10:19 AM