Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My DD is snobby? shy?

Posted by on Jun. 28, 2012 at 6:49 PM
  • 22 Replies

DD 12.... we have caught her a few times making snotty comments about other kids or acting like she is 'too cool' to talk to them.    Other times we will go somewhere new and she is petrified to even say hello to someone she doesn't know.  

DH and I are not sure what to do.... being hard on her about being snobby is easy if we happen to see it.... but how do we really make her LEARN not to act that way ever?    How do we encourage her to be less shy?

I tend to think shy and snobby are related because they are both a result of being self-conscious.   If you are confident and comfortable in your own skin... you have no reason to feel shy or to be mean to others. 

by on Jun. 28, 2012 at 6:49 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
jerzeetomato
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2012 at 10:26 PM
2 moms liked this

for the snobby part....role play.  Give her some of those comments, when she isn't expecting it, then ask her to think about how she feels when she hears it.  Remind her that others feel the same when they hear it from her.  Even better if you can do it, get someone she doesn't know to be the offending party, and guage her reaction.

For the shy part, help her think of conversation starters she can use when she is going to be meeting new people or be in an unfamiliar situation.

NADIA-R
by on Jun. 28, 2012 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this
I always tell my DD hhow would you feel if it was you on the other end I give her a situation then she thinks about it and realizes she was wrong. Give it a try she might too.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mandy18192
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 4:27 PM

Agree, i was the same way and my parents did that...but didnt ever really get over the shy part...just part of my personality:)

ceciliam
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 6:54 PM

I would look for ways to boost your daughters self-confidence.

MomTiara19
by Member on Jun. 30, 2012 at 8:11 AM

Hi,

My dd is 13 and introverted.She appears very shy but when you get to know her you see her chatty and social side.

My daughter is a very kind and empathetic person.I think caring for a pet,volunteering,or helping out at home or for an elderly person can help open your daughters eyes.

Try renting movies that show teens or people overcoming challenges.With compassionate parents like you she will come around.Being snotty could hopefully just be a passing phase

Goodluck,

Tia

RainyRain
by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 5:04 PM
I think she acsts/seems snobby as a defence. She is trying to find her personality. She might try to be funny but come out as snobby. She might seem shy because she doesn't know how to approach new people.

Just continue to remind her that she should treat others the way she would like to be treated.

In regards to the shy part, how about enrolling her in dance, baseball or swimming classes.

Check your park district and maybe look at the pamphlet together.

Good luck
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 4:59 PM
1 mom liked this

 All of the above  comments are great places to start. You could also tell her when she is doing something that is positive, then when she does something snotty or makes a snotty reference, repeat what she just said back to her and then ask her if what she said was an appropriate attitude to have. remind her that she isn't a better person than someone else but just different.  You may have tell her this a few times before it really sinks in what is being said.  I do this with my kids and their friends. I make sure everyone knows what type of behavior that is and isn't allowed.  And I make sure that if the friends aren't listening, I tell them they must go home and to not come back until they can behave properly.  It took some time before everyone understood this new way of behavior but they are all starting to come around to it.  

 The one thing I have learned through parenting, is that most things take time to take effect. Things don't happen over night, (usually) and they won't get better over night, (usually).  If this does happen, count your blessings, cause its a rarity. 

SweetLuci
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 9:23 PM

 I think it helps by modeling the behavior you want her to exhibit. Also talk to her about this. Did you ever have someone speak to you in a snobby way? If so, share how it made you feel.

HamBergerMama
by Stacy on Jul. 3, 2012 at 10:05 PM

This!

Quoting kirbymom:

 All of the above  comments are great places to start. You could also tell her when she is doing something that is positive, then when she does something snotty or makes a snotty reference, repeat what she just said back to her and then ask her if what she said was an appropriate attitude to have. remind her that she isn't a better person than someone else but just different.  You may have tell her this a few times before it really sinks in what is being said.  I do this with my kids and their friends. I make sure everyone knows what type of behavior that is and isn't allowed.  And I make sure that if the friends aren't listening, I tell them they must go home and to not come back until they can behave properly.  It took some time before everyone understood this new way of behavior but they are all starting to come around to it.  

 The one thing I have learned through parenting, is that most things take time to take effect. Things don't happen over night, (usually) and they won't get better over night, (usually).  If this does happen, count your blessings, cause its a rarity. 


Blessed Mommy to: Angel Baby : 07/08/08  Alexander Jayce:05/21/09 Kalea Brielle: 06/03/10 Michael Zachary 09/22/11

My adventerous life!

 Due in September? Join us in September 2011 Babies!


JoJoBean8
by Bronze Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 12:47 AM

Maybe the snobby remarks are her defence if she is shy? 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)