Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

To Read or Not to Read (my DD text messages)

Posted by   + Show Post



Question: Should Moms read their daughter's text messages?



No Way

Depends on age

Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 474

View Results

Wanting to hear from other Mamas out you ever read or "check" your daughter's texts or Instagram posts/pix or Kiks or whatever they are using?

by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 1:01 AM
Replies (31-40):
by Laura on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, yes I would, because I know how I was and how everyone else was when I was in school. My cousin that is 13 now, she already talks about sex, she posts pics of herself in bikinis, etc... My kids may seem perfect, but, I would hate myself for not checking their phones or pics and something happen to them. Teenagers need their privacy, but they also need responsibilities. Teaching them right from wrong can help them to shape into responsible adults.

by New Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:44 PM

 My DD is 3, so I dont' have to worry about that now (though she did text my mom a bunch of gibberish once when she got ahold of my phone-LOL).  But I do think that there is an age that children should have a lot of parental support for phone/computer use and an age that children can have more freedom and responsibility.  I think that 10-13/14 a child should not have any expectation of privacy with regards to texting or computers.  I will have all my child's passwords and on-line profiles and I will require my child to be in the same room as me or have thier door open while on the computer.  This is for safety reasons.  After the age of 14/15 I would start to allow more privacy and more responsibility.  There would be discussions about what is and is not appropriate behavior with regards to phone and computer use and then there would be freedom allowed as long ss those expetations are not violated and as long as I don't have other reasons to worry.

by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:46 PM

 My oldest is almost 4, but I will be checking her phone every night until she is no longer living with us!!

by Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:50 PM

My kids don't text or anything yet

by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:53 PM

 I will never read my child's texts. My mom never trusted me and it was a horrible horrible feeling because I was truly a good kid (no sex, drugs, alcohol, nothing illegal), however, I will check pictures and confirm who is in her phone.

by Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:53 PM

it depends on if she ever gave me reason to not trust her

by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:55 PM

Yep.  As long as they live in my house and are still kids/teens things like texts are totally in my right to read.  The only thing I will allow them to have in complete privacy is a diary (unless they've given me a very legitimate reason to not trust them and I feel they are in need of help.  I do believe everyone has a right to their own private thoughts and feelings though, so unless I have a serious reason to question them, I will never go read their diary). Their room, drawers, closet, phone, fb, Internet history, etc are all fair game to their father and I though as long as they live in my house and it is my job to take care of them.  Now that doesn't mean dh and I will go snooping threw everything, just that if I feel a need to due to something they've said/done, or say their phone is sitting around and  starts going off, I have every right to check up on them threw these things.

by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 1:06 PM

It would depend on the child, and their maturity level.. in the beginning I would, until they established trust.. and from there, it would depend on their actions if I would continue to trust them or not...

At least that's currently the plan... lol... my children are 4 and under though, so I have a bit to go before this becomes a major concern.

by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 1:25 PM


by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 1:34 PM

It would depend on the child, but I also believe that children need to understand that nothing they put out in the world (texts, Facebook, photos) is private. Once they hit send, it is available for public consumption- so if they feel it isn't something they'd want their mother to see, they shouldn't be sharing it with anyone else.

If you want to keep a secret a secret, get a diary. The minute you share your thoughts, likeness, etc. with someone else, it can become grist for the mill. Lots of kids are finding this out the hard way.

To my knowledge, my mother never went through any of my things (texting is before my teenage time and I didn't have an old school cell phone until I was 19). I was also honest with my parents, never got into trouble, and was where I said I was going to be and with who I said I was going to be with. They knew all of my friends. Nothing to snoop for.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN