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Mommy vs Friend

Posted by on Jul. 14, 2012 at 9:49 AM
  • 8 Replies
You always hear people talk about moms who are friends to their kids and dont know how to parent. How do balance? Would you say you are a mommy or more of a friend? Can you be both?
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by on Jul. 14, 2012 at 9:49 AM
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Replies (1-8):
kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2012 at 3:13 PM

 I am sorry, but there is no way for me to be both the mom and a friend. I would love for it to be otherwise but its just not possible.  My daughter is 16, and even says that a mom who is more of a friend than a mom is missing out on opportunities where a mom can guide her daughter if she is just a friend since most friends aren't looking out for your best interests.  That friends are just looking for the moment of gratification, not the future nor how it will turn out.  And that is her opinion.  She chose for me

SweetLuci
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2012 at 8:29 PM

 She has plenty of friends her own age. I am the parent figure in her life. I believe you can't be both while a child is growing. I don't think a child really wants her mom to act like her friend. She has a friend whose mom tries to act like a friend and the girl is embarassed by it.

Mrs.Andrews
by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 2:42 AM

I am a Mommy for sure. I am loving, kind, and there for my daughter. But I am very strict. I don't find it hard to be that way.

TurboMom81
by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 6:03 AM
I've seen a lot of Mother/Daughter relationships go bad because the mother was a friend instead of a parent. I'd like to think there is a happy middle. I yet to find it because I am in full blown parent mode right now.
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SlightlyPerfect
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 10:08 AM

I don't know about anyone else here, but I sure as hell didn't go through pregnancy and childbirth to have a "friend."

slightlyperfect

momofkandb
by Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 11:10 AM

You can be both, but you always have to parent first.  It is your responsibility to teach your children how to be productive citizens of our society.  That requires parenting over friends.  As your child grows into an adult, the friendship is really going to bloom, as long as you also build trust.  

Kmakksmom
by on Aug. 5, 2012 at 2:42 PM

I am a Mommy first and foremost, but I grew up with a Mommy who wasn't just my Mom, she was my friend too and I am the same way for my kids.  I know you can be both.  I saw both in my own mom and I am seeing it in me as well.  My kids know they can come to me and talk to me about anything.  That is how I am a friend to them.  I would never allow drugs in my home, and alcohol is allowed only if you are 21 or older.  My kids know our rules.  As long as you respect the kids, they will respect you. 

SweetLuci
by Bronze Member on Aug. 5, 2012 at 2:47 PM

       rolling on floor

Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

I don't know about anyone else here, but I sure as hell didn't go through pregnancy and childbirth to have a "friend."

 

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