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Do you think a high self esteem makes you more attractive then looks?

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:13 AM
  • 13 Replies

Forget a pretty face or hot body: Survey Reveals Surprising Results About What Makes You Irresistible


NEW YORK, July 16, 2012 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- A survey by YourTango.com--the digital leader in love and relationships--reveals that physical traits are not what matters most when it comes to attractiveness. Rather, men and women agree that "sense of humor" and "self-confidence" are the two most irresistible traits in a potential love interest.

The survey also exposes a powerful link between self-esteem and relationship satisfaction; 89% of respondents agree that when one or both partners in a couple has poor self-confidence, relationship problems ensue.

Conversely, 90% of respondents agree that feeling attractive and confident has a profound influence on their coupled bliss. Fortunately the survey reveals top activities that improve self-confidence.

Both genders agree "exercise and eating right" is the #1 means to feeling "irresistible." For men, "having sex" comes in at #2 and "spending quality time with your significant other" at #3. For women, "buying a new outfit/accessories" is #2; "spending quality time" is #3.

Women list their "weight/fitness level" as the factor that most influences their self-esteem, with "the state of my relationship" second and "feeling balanced/spiritually connected" third.

"Conventional wisdom holds that attraction typically begins with physical appearances. We were thrilled to learn that what's on the inside is what matters most to both men and women," says YourTango CEO, Andrea Miller.

Additional findings:

Perfume/fragrance is the beauty product that makes women feel the most irresistible, followed by mascara then eyeliner/eye shadow.

66% of respondents say "compliments/affirmations" and "giving him/her your undivided attention" are the best ways to instill confidence in one's partner.

Both genders agree that the #1 way to avoid complacency in a relationship is trying new things together. #2 for men is having sex regularly. #2 for women is small gestures such as writing love notes or doing the other's chores.

Men consider Jennifer Aniston the "most irresistible female celebrity." Women? Angelina Jolie.

by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TurboMom81
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:14 AM
Nothing's sexier than confidence! I've always felt that way!
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Harris06
by Megan on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:21 AM
Of course confidence is so much sexier than looks! Unless you are TOO "confident" and then it becomes a turn off.
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SlightlyPerfect
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Yesterday at 10:16 PM
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:37 AM

That's what I'm thinking. I can't figure out how the author is defining confidence. From how I understand the concepts of confidence and self-esteem, the shit the article attributes to women--makeup, accessories, and perfume--are all superficial and don't affect actual confidence or self-esteem. They're more like placebos.

Quoting Harris06:

Of course confidence is so much sexier than looks! Unless you are TOO "confident" and then it becomes a turn off.


slightlyperfect

SweetLuci
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:44 AM

 This made me think. I have a good friend that I was describing to a couple that were going to be meeting her later. When we were later alone, my DH was telling me that he didn't know who I was describing until I said her name. He said I was saying how pretty she is and then he realized that I was describing how I see her, not exactly the way someone who hadn't yet met her would see her. I insisted she is prettty, and he agreed that she is pretty-from the inside and, "it gives her a glow". 

4kidz916
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 9:37 AM

This.  Too much confidence can turn into arrogance. 

Quoting Harris06:

Of course confidence is so much sexier than looks! Unless you are TOO "confident" and then it becomes a turn off.


heather4511
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 10:16 AM
Agree Lol. When you aren't confident it shows, and people are usually put off by it.

Quoting Harris06:

Of course confidence is so much sexier than looks! Unless you are TOO "confident" and then it becomes a turn off.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Roo1234
by Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:19 PM

Absolutely true.

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 3:09 PM

 Absolutely. A healthy dose of thinking that you're not such a bad catch is a good thing. It helps other people get those "nice" vibes about you, from you.  Its what attracts one another.  : )

Mrs.Andrews
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 5:55 PM

I think self esteem has a lot to do with how other's perceive you. But I also think most people immediately notice weight and looks and automatically make at least a small judgement based on looks.

jennafaery1980
by Member on Jul. 18, 2012 at 12:42 AM
Yes...how you see yourself will always influence how others see you!
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