What do you do to keep your self esteem up? Have you ever struggled with this issue?
All my life. I still do. The best I can do is find new interests that better myself and my confidence, like working out and getting fit! It helps me to feel better about myself when I set goals and accomplish them!
We were just talking about this in another thread in this group. And I think it really depends on how you define self-esteem, because as I understand the concept, it's not something one can, of his/her own volition, "keep up."Self-esteem is not self-confidence. They are two very different concepts.Self esteem is based upon realizing that just by existing, you are valuable. Period. It's not something you can change. It's not something someone (like compliments or criticisms) or something (like a god) can give you.
As Branden notes [PDF]:
Self-esteem is not the euphoria or
buoyancy that may be temporarily induced by a drug, a compliment,
or a love affair. It is not an illusion or hallucination.
If it is not grounded in reality, if it is not built over
time through the appropriate operation of mind, it is not
Self-esteem is not affected by behavior or belief. It is what it is. All we can do is (1) recognize and (2) accept that reality. And only then can we say we actually have self-esteem. Our innate value does not change, but our perception of it does.
Some people seem to think self-esteem is the same as self-confidence, but the latter is skills-based. It's behavior. It's what you do, how well you do it, and (I argue, most importantly) how you judge how well you've done something and then what you do with that assessment. That process produces self-confidence.
There's no sense in "believing in yourself" when you've got nothing in reality to support that belief, for example. Conversely, someone can be really talented and not perceive it.
yes growing up i did... but, my dad always told me to keep my chin up high and enjoy life.. don't like little things bug me...
I have to constantly try to use positive self talk. It's hard and usually I am more down on myself than up.
When I'm feeling bad about my looks, I put on a favorite outfit and some perfume. Always makes me feel better.
Sometimes reading quotes helps me or reading something I've written, reminds me that I have "talent".
I wouldn't really consider my self esteem low but it's not super high.
Quoting Mrs.Andrews:I have to constantly try to use positive self talk. It's hard and usually I am more down on myself than up.
I pretty much just try and better myself at whatever it is that makes me self-conscious. And I remind myself that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about me as long as I am true to myself. My husband helps me as well. I go to him when I am feeling particularly bad about something, some aspect of "me", and he is always there to bring me back to reality.
When I was very young, my self esteem was low, but as I grew older, had more positive experiences, gained skills and became more self-confident, my self esteem became higher. I began to believe in my own self-worth. I grew to like myself, just the way I am. I keep up my self-esteem by associating with positive people, making a list of the things I'm grateful for, listening to uplifting music, volunteering my time, mentoring young girls, doing good things for myself, focusing on my good qualities and eliminating negative self-talk, complimenting myself-looking for the good things in life and knowing that I can get through any difficult times.
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