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How do you balance...

Posted by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 9:44 PM
  • 12 Replies

Femininity and still being strong. 

I think there were some great things that happend and came from the feminist movement of the 60s-70s.

But I think there were too many things that were lost. The beauty in being truely feminine, sometimes "strong" comes across more brash, or bull headed. 

 I want Kalea to have a quiet sweet spirit, who isn't afraid to let her voice be heard when need be. Who knows how to confident when leading and when supporting.

Who encompases grace, and stead-fastness.


So my question is.

How do you balance femininity and feminism?

Blessed Mommy to: Angel Baby : 07/08/08  Alexander Jayce:05/21/09 Kalea Brielle: 06/03/10 Michael Zachary 09/22/11 Angel Baby: 07/02/12

My adventerous life!



by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 9:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 9, 2012 at 12:31 PM
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By quietly standing for what you believe. By knowing when to bend a little.  By being active in your beliefs. BUT not giving up on those foundational beliefs that make up the character of who you are and what you stand for. 

 You should encourage your daughter to know who she is inside and out, To accept who she is and to be proud of that AND where she came from. This is how she can be feminine and strong in herself and her beliefs at the same time. You can teach her that she can change a tire for herself when she is alone, without compromising her femininity. Teach her how to be self-sufficient when its just her but that it isn't against the feminine code to receive the help of a manwhen there is a man around that can do the job.  That just because you have a man in your life doesn't, by any means, take away her soft side, but actually adds to it. She can make the choice to be the one who does the "work" just as well as she decides to not do the "work".   You don't have to have  a man, but it sure is nice. 

 I hope I said this right. 

  

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SlightlyPerfect
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I'm not ready.
Today at 9:25 AM
by Bronze Member on Aug. 9, 2012 at 5:31 PM

I don't quite understand how femininity is not strong. And I don't get how "beauty in being truely feminine" was lost (because of feminism?). I guess it depends how you define those terms.

What do you think was lost and why? Do you feel society just doesn't value certain attributes anymore?

I don't balance it. I am who I am.

I think the idealization or otherwise romanticization of the vulnerable (or "graceful" or "reverenced") female is fictional. What feminism did was deconstruct that illusion and demand women be recognized as the people they are and stop playing roles that only dehumanized them. The basis of self-esteem (which I think is basically what feminists wanted for women, even if they did have to be bra-burning extremists in order to get their points across) needed to be injected into the culture to open people's eyes to reality. Feminists wanted women independent, held accountable, to have their critical role recognized in civilization and demonstrably shown to be equal to that of their male peers. (Just because the sexes are different and generally process information differently does not make them, de facto, unequal in worth or value.)

Personally, I don't see someone being brash, bull-headed, hyper-emotional, insensitive, or aggressive as strong (save in the face of brute force). They're actually demonstrations of character weakness and unhealthy self-esteem.

slightlyperfect

SlightlyPerfect
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I'm not ready.
Today at 9:25 AM
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2012 at 8:15 AM

I thought maybe this could add to the conversation. Is this sentiment kind of what you're getting at with your post?

Man is defined as a human being and a woman as a female - whenever she behaves as a human being she is said to imitate the male.

-Simone de Beauvoir

HamBergerMama
by Stacy on Aug. 10, 2012 at 11:18 PM

I guess the question I have is more, why would femininity not be human? So often I feel that we have swung the pendulum so far in the opposite direction, from women who were surpressed, and were  not treated fairly. But no longer do we see men and women as "equal but different" instead so often we seem to want to be "equal and the same" as men. And when we do, femininity is lost. There must be balance in the swinging pendulum. 

Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

I thought maybe this could add to the conversation. Is this sentiment kind of what you're getting at with your post?

Man is defined as a human being and a woman as a female - whenever she behaves as a human being she is said to imitate the male.

-Simone de Beauvoir


Blessed Mommy to: Angel Baby : 07/08/08  Alexander Jayce:05/21/09 Kalea Brielle: 06/03/10 Michael Zachary 09/22/11 Angel Baby: 07/02/12

My adventerous life!



Kiwismommy19
by Wendy on Aug. 11, 2012 at 11:26 AM
1 mom liked this
Screw femininity and trying to find the balance. I much prefer to live my life and try to teach my daughter to live her's just being myself/herself, and forget defining terms. Be Who you are, not What is expected.
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copperswifey
by Bronze Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 7:04 PM

I want to teach them to be strong and to be able to stand on their own two feet. I don't want them to have to depend on anyone for anything. The only other thing I care about is manners. I want them always to use "please and thank you". I don't want them running around in public cursing and burping up a storm lol Those are my only concerns right now. That might change the older they get. :)

Samanthamommy
by Member on Aug. 14, 2012 at 11:42 PM

I think I have an even balance of both.

SweetLuci
by Bronze Member on Aug. 16, 2012 at 10:29 PM

 This reminds me of my mother quoting Edith Head, Your dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady. Another one was , Dress like a woman, think like a man. I lived through the feminist movement. Some women felt they must be brash and harsh to show that they weren't weak. They began to cuss in conversation, assuming that made them look more powerful. The pendulum swung far to one end. That often happens with new movements. They dressed in severe styles and yelled at men who held a door for them. Fortunately the pendulum has balanced out in most instances. I think teaching her by example, that she can be strong but she doesn't have to brutish. She can state her opinions without shouting them. A leader doesn't have to tell those behind them that they're a leader, they do it by example, just as i think you're doing for her.  

JoJoBean8
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2012 at 7:50 PM

I give my opinion in a non demanding way and they I stay strong and don't back down. 

4kidz916
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2012 at 8:34 PM

I agree with this thinking and that's the way I try to be. 

Quoting JoJoBean8:

I give my opinion in a non demanding way and they I stay strong and don't back down. 


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