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What i want my daughter to remember

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I am just finally starting to live by this, and i also hope my daughter has high expectations..



YES!

by on Sep. 3, 2012 at 11:50 AM
Replies (11-20):
heather4511
by Bronze Member on Sep. 4, 2012 at 9:06 AM
I like the creative man one :)

Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

I think it's interesting because, when you're dealing with mediocrity, you always have a choice whether to accept it or dismiss it. So I'm not sure how I feel about that first one, but I do know you cannot know the extraordinary without first marinating in mediocrity, if only for a moment. Once you know what mediocrity is, you can identify it and subsequently dismiss it. But then again, I know plenty of people who choose to marinate in it--even after they know what it is.

I think I would rather show my daughter these:

And one of my favorites (because I love Sartre, and I hope DD will too):

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Harris06
by Megan on Sep. 4, 2012 at 9:25 AM

This, most definitely!!!!

Quoting heather4511:


intelligence


Proud Navy Wife since 1/10/06; toddler girl Mother to McKenna since 12/11/08,  toddler girl McKaela since 5/27/10 & baby girl Maisie since 8/15/11.

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KaylaMillar
by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 12:08 PM
I love them all!
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sakpoints
by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 11:05 PM

Love them all, and seriously considering making a couple into posters for her wall.  I am always telling her to be herself, and not believe mean things other people say.  It is rather hard when she is 7 and our last name rhymes with turkey.

heather4511
by Bronze Member on Sep. 4, 2012 at 11:16 PM
Awww! A poster would be cute!

Quoting sakpoints:

Love them all, and seriously considering making a couple into posters for her wall.  I am always telling her to be herself, and not believe mean things other people say.  It is rather hard when she is 7 and our last name rhymes with turkey.

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SlightlyPerfect
by Bronze Member on Sep. 5, 2012 at 10:29 AM

Well, think about it. You say "Be yourself," "Be you," "Be true to yourself," "Follow your heart"--What are these statements, really? They're shallow platitudes. They've become so overused they mean nothing. They're vacuous concepts, especially for children because they have only begun constructing their identities. At this point, they don't really know what the "you" in those statements even means.

Try being more specific. I would say something like, "Well, if people make fun of you because of your last name, tell me... Why do you care? Who are they to you? And what does your last name, which is pretty awesome, rhyming with turkey mean anyway? Lots of words rhyme with turkey. Why is someone rhyming your name with turkey important? You're not a turkey, so who cares? They're not making any sense! They might as well sing Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving song, and it would make about as much sense."

Kids (and adults) get super sensitive when truth is used against them. Kids, who really can't differentiate truth from fiction at that age, tend to wonder whether what the kids are saying is actually true, and since kids tend to defer to others when forming opinions, it's important to stop that nonsense when it comes to bullies. So if you show her there is no truth in the statements made about her, she's less likely to care. You have to figure out why she even cares about those kids in the first place. I think that could help.

Now, if there is truth to the statements (like a kid is called "fat" and he is actually overweight) then you have to figure out how to rectify that, but it's usually done in the same way, just that weight, disability, color--none of these define who a person actually is--character does.

Quoting sakpoints:

Love them all, and seriously considering making a couple into posters for her wall.  I am always telling her to be herself, and not believe mean things other people say.  It is rather hard when she is 7 and our last name rhymes with turkey.


slightlyperfect

heather4511
by Bronze Member on Sep. 5, 2012 at 2:19 PM
You are really right!

I love your response :) I wish my mother would have said something like that to me when I was younger.


Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

Well, think about it. You say "Be yourself," "Be you," "Be true to yourself," "Follow your heart"--What are these statements, really? They're shallow platitudes. They've become so overused they mean nothing. They're vacuous concepts, especially for children because they have only begun constructing their identities. At this point, they don't really know what the "you" in those statements even means.

Try being more specific. I would say something like, "Well, if people make fun of you because of your last name, tell me... Why do you care? Who are they to you? And what does your last name, which is pretty awesome, rhyming with turkey mean anyway? Lots of words rhyme with turkey. Why is someone rhyming your name with turkey important? You're not a turkey, so who cares? They're not making any sense! They might as well sing Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving song, and it would make about as much sense."

Kids (and adults) get super sensitive when truth is used against them. Kids, who really can't differentiate truth from fiction at that age, tend to wonder whether what the kids are saying is actually true, and since kids tend to defer to others when forming opinions, it's important to stop that nonsense when it comes to bullies. So if you show her there is no truth in the statements made about her, she's less likely to care. You have to figure out why she even cares about those kids in the first place. I think that could help.

Now, if there is truth to the statements (like a kid is called "fat" and he is actually overweight) then you have to figure out how to rectify that, but it's usually done in the same way, just that weight, disability, color--none of these define who a person actually is--character does.

Quoting sakpoints:

Love them all, and seriously considering making a couple into posters for her wall.  I am always telling her to be herself, and not believe mean things other people say.  It is rather hard when she is 7 and our last name rhymes with turkey.


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SlightlyPerfect
by Bronze Member on Sep. 5, 2012 at 4:48 PM

I think the issue is usually, "Who are they to you?"

If you didn't care about a person--if you weren't invested in some way--what they say should have little to no effect on you, right? So if someone (or someone's opinions or actions) is having this profound effect, you have to ask yourself why you're investing so heavily in them.

I found that, when teaching teens at least, asking that kind of question really helped them realize exactly how they were investing in people. They kept wanting, like, attention or a compliment from someone who really wasn't worthy of their time.

I'd use money as an example. You wouldn't invest in a bad stock that kept sucking your money out and didn't give you a profitable return, right? But money is not as important as your attention. "You keep using these people like stuffed-animal machines, constantly putting 50 cents in in the hopes of grabbing a toy that didn't even cost ten cents to make! For what? That momentary high that might occur when they... what? Acknowledge you? Is that worth your attention and time? Is the money you're putting in giving you a profitable return? Are you exchanging value for value?"

It didn't always get through, but I think really breaking down the concept of "your heart" and "your dreams" to real, tangible things (like money and attention) helps kids understand. Once a child understands their creative power and autonomy as a human being (which many adults don't even recognize!), I think you see a big change in them. But a lot of adults are meandering through life not taking full advantage of their power (like self-esteem and intellectual endeavors), so a lot of it has to start there.

Quoting heather4511:

You are really right!

I love your response :) I wish my mother would have said something like that to me when I was younger. 

slightlyperfect

heather4511
by Bronze Member on Sep. 5, 2012 at 5:00 PM
That is great. I never really thought about it from that perspective!

Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

I think the issue is usually, "Who are they to you?"

If you didn't care about a person--if you weren't invested in some way--what they say should have little to no effect on you, right? So if someone (or someone's opinions or actions) is having this profound effect, you have to ask yourself why you're investing so heavily in them.

I found that, when teaching teens at least, asking that kind of question really helped them realize exactly how they were investing in people. They kept wanting, like, attention or a compliment from someone who really wasn't worthy of their time.

I'd use money as an example. You wouldn't invest in a bad stock that kept sucking your money out and didn't give you a profitable return, right? But money is not as important as your attention. "You keep using these people like stuffed-animal machines, constantly putting 50 cents in in the hopes of grabbing a toy that didn't even cost ten cents to make! For what? That momentary high that might occur when they... what? Acknowledge you? Is that worth your attention and time? Is the money you're putting in giving you a profitable return? Are you exchanging value for value?"

It didn't always get through, but I think really breaking down the concept of "your heart" and "your dreams" to real, tangible things (like money and attention) helps kids understand. Once a child understands their creative power and autonomy as a human being (which many adults don't even recognize!), I think you see a big change in them. But a lot of adults are meandering through life not taking full advantage of their power (like self-esteem and intellectual endeavors), so a lot of it has to start there.

Quoting heather4511:

You are really right!



I love your response :) I wish my mother would have said something like that to me when I was younger. 
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AzariahsMother
by on Sep. 5, 2012 at 11:50 PM

These are some really great quotes.

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