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Just read Daughter's text. Are boys always this forward ?

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OK moms. I'm 50 yrs old. So maybe I'm just "out of it". 

 I just read my 13 year old daughters text from a 15 yr old boy she just met in person at a football game last weekend. I was at the game too and knew that she had a crush on him but they had not met until then. (They had been "friends" on fb.) In this recent text, he was asking her to make out with him next time he saw her, asking about her experience, asking if she would go all the way with him. Asking her to send a picture of herself and promising to not show anyone. Her responses were yes to the making out idea, but no to the picture. (Thank gosh on the photo decision!)

Naturally, I will be vigilant about this situation. She is waaaay too young in my book to be involved with someone with these intentions.

So here's my question, is this normal talk for young boys these days? I am going to talk to her about what I read, but I want to be equipped here. Is this normal conversation between the sexes these days? Or are there still plenty of boys out there who would not speak to a girl he was hoping to date this way?  I'm sad. This is so aggressive and insulting.

Thanks!

by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 1:36 PM
Replies (21-30):
alliesmom112
by Sandy on Sep. 21, 2012 at 2:57 PM

My dd is still very young but this doesn't sound normal. It sounds like a boy just trying to pressure your dd. 

LOswald0314
by Member on Sep. 21, 2012 at 6:33 PM

 I think it's pretty common, though I wouldn't want to say "normal".  If my 13 yr old daughter were talking to a boy asking her to go all the way she definetly couldn't see him anymore.

Bob192
by Member on Sep. 24, 2012 at 2:19 PM

That would not be okay with me if it was normal or not.  He is not showing any respect for her by asking her that when he doesn't even know her.  He only wants to be with her for what she can give him.  He doesn't want any kind of relationship!

Mrs.Andrews
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:31 PM

I don't know if it's normal or not. I sure hope not! Either way, she should never want to be with a boy like that. He is only going to use her and lose her.

Why is she texting and on facebook at this age? 

Mrs.Andrews
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:32 PM

You should talk to his parents about this. They need to know what is going on.

Wish2Be
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A mommy to the best little boy in the world !
Yesterday at 10:01 PM
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:27 PM

About 15 years ago...my sister lost her virginity...she was 14.

I was 16 when I gave mine to someone...and I dont regret it. I was very responsible about it.

I think boys have always been this forward.

Bmat
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:31 PM

Ew.  I hope not. 

Wish2Be
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A mommy to the best little boy in the world !
Yesterday at 10:01 PM
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:36 PM

I am glad you waited too. You are such a good mom. You handled it really well ! :)

Quoting ljanlin:

girl giving flowerThanks everyone sooo much. This is what I did. I thought and thought about what I would want to hear from my mom at this age. What she could say that would not just shut me down and make me feel mad and invaded. I thought about how when I was her age, that my friend and I did sneak off with older boys to "make out" once. So,  I told her that I had found her phone and read the text between she and the boy. I did as some of you said and told her that I did not see one time in that whole texting conversation where he asked anything about her other than sex related. So obviously he didnt care about her as a person. We talked about meaningful relationships and what that means. I told her what I had done when I was her age and that it could have ended very badly and that I wasn't proud of it.(I told my story so that she knew that I truly did understand.) We talked about ways that she could steer converstaions like this away from sex talk and more about discussions that would make her feel respected. I said that she could always say that her parents check her phone and that she can't talk about those things. I told her she can always use her parents as her excuse to get out of any situation, whether we really know about the situation or not.  It seemed good.  I hope it helped. I think she was relieved and it gave her a way out. The main thing I want to say here, is that I'm so glad I waited to confront her because my initial reaction was anger!! That kind of conversation would not have gone well. Writing here and getting responses from each of you helped me  and gave me time to settle down and think while getting advice and reactions from other moms. THANK YOU JUST ISN'T ENOUGH!  P.S. I'm still keeping a close eye out. I'm under no illusion that one talk changes everything. I'll keep at it!!


CafeMom Tickers
mrswillie
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 6:25 AM

I don't think so...Gosh, I hope not. With that said, my 15yo dsd is boy crazy.

Madelaine
by Bronze Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 10:21 AM

yes

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