Is this illegal?

[whoodges]

I have recently left my boyfriend of 12 years.  We have been apart almost 3 months.  We have 2 young children together (6 yrs and 4yrs).  It started out really good.  Their father had been watching them while I was at work.  But then when he started getting mad he would say he wouldn't watch them.  Or he wasn't taking my daughter to school for a slight tummy ache she had, which was from him giving her too much sugar the night before. He would threaten to not send our daughter to school. 

I started having my mom watch them to be more stable.  This week she was gone for a couple days to go on a short trip with her husband.  The kids' dad said he would watch them.  I am supposed to be at work at 8:30 and I have a 30 min commute.  He didn't make it home from a night out until 8:20.  I already have been keeping the kids with my mom during the week so I don't miss work or won't be late for work, and only been asking him to watch them during the week when my mom has things to do.  I have worked with him and given him as many chances as I could to keep them all the time but he keeps screwing it up.

I told him I am no longer going to ask him to take the kids during the week.  He told me it is illegal because we were never married and I never filed for custody, we have joint custody.  There is no parenting plan in place but I am wanting to get one in place.  But in the mean time, is that illegal?  They call him every night and see him every weekend.  I just don't want them over there during the week because he is not dependable.  I live in Oregon and I am having a hard time finding the exact laws on it.

[graycalico]

I don't think that's illegal. If he wants a legal schedule he needs to go to court to get one.

[lovinMYtwins07]

I don't think it is illegal but I do recommend getting something set in stone like what they do in court.  You don't want to risk anything.  Sorry you are going through this momma but you sound like you are a very strong woman and know what you need to do.  HUGS!

[0Kit0]

No it's not. Its not like you're not allowing them to see him. And honestly why does he give a shit since he is the one who thinks a child's education is something you bargain with? Get a lawyer AND go for custody. He isn't responsible enough nor does he deserve to have those kids regularly.

[proudMom2634]

On our country, its not illegal. The fact that you where not even married, doesn't even give him enough right for custidy unless he settle it in court.