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How do you define ‘self-esteem’ and ‘body confidence’ to your daughter?

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
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7 moms liked this

We all want the best for our daughters – for them to grow up having positive relationships with beauty so that they can fulfill their lives’ potential.

How do you define ‘self-esteem’ and ‘body confidence’ to your daughter?

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by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
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bribren
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM

I define self esteem and body confidence as believing in/loving yourself. I have raised my daughters to be strong confident young ladies. I have always told my daughters it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside it all about whats on the inside. If you feel beautiful you are beautiful. If you feel confident people will see a confident young lady. I told my daughters just be yourself if someone wants to change you they are not worth knowing. 

My name is Brenda I am a sahm of 4 beautiful children. I live in southern Arizona. My DH and I have been married 21 years.

My DD are 17 and 16 years old one is a junior in high school the other is beginning her freshman year in college.They are both very confident and out going. They are really into school and reading. They are crazy fun. I joke they could keep their self entertained in a padded cell.They are both really active in our community volunteering and giving back.

We have a wonderful relationship with our daughters. They talk openly with us everyday.

I have raised my daughters to be confident and strong young ladies. We have talked about self esteem their whole life.


romalove
by Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
6 moms liked this

My teenager is my baby.  I have three kids, two in their 20's and this last chickadee who is 17.  She has just finished her junior year of school, so I guess technically that makes her a high school senior!  This will be a year of lasts for both of us, which is both happy and sad.  We live in East Brunswick, NJ.

My daughter and I have a close relationship, but she can be difficult.  She is a creative and intelligent soul, a musician, and creative people and intelligent people can be difficult so she's a double whammy (triple whammy if you count that she's also a teen and quadruple if you add that she's a girl lol).  She has had some depression and can have some low self esteem, despite her many great attributes.  Body issues are a big problem.  She is not fat, but she is curvy (big busted), and she loves to dress very femininely, in little dresses, and sometimes they will fit everywhere but the bustline.  She will then feel badly that she can't just wear whatever she wants.  

We talk about anything and everything, and always have.  I think it's very important to have all kinds of discussions from when they are tiny, and not spring important discussions as an official "talk".  The number one thing my kids have always known is that no matter what I will be there for them, help them, and love them, even if it's through anger and tears while I'm doing it.

I try and keep the issues of self esteem and body consciousness limited to, you are not what you look like, you are who you are and what your actions do.  That she is bright and creative are more important than that she is beautiful, and in fact that a great part of her beauty comes from her brightness and creativity, from who she is, and comes from inside her.

It is not easy in a world that tells you if you are not a size 0 you do not count.

Mamato4brats
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
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My name is Angela, I have four children and am married to my best friemd. My daughter is Telasia, she is 14 years old and going into the ninth grade this year. We live in coastal North Carolina. My daughter and I have a great relationship, we are very open and honest and talk very often about any and everything that is going on in her life.

I describe self confidence to my daughter as being comfortable in her own skin, I have always told her that she should love and embrace herself and that she is a unique and beautiful girl and that she should never dislike anything about herself. 

dandylynes
by New Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
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Hi!  My name is Sonnie, I live with my 15 y/o daughter Addie and my fiance Larry.

I try my best to keep my daughter's self esteem up by encouraging her to be the best "herself" that she can be.  She is 15 and that can be a tricky thing to do and I feel like I'm walking on egg shells at times.  Sometimes when I try to suggest things to her, she takes it as criticism, sometimes I spend time agonizing how I'm going to word something to her without offending her.

Otherwise i have a pretty open relationship with my Sophomore.  I encourage her to do the things she wants, even if it's outside the box.  Right now she's learning robot engineering and developing her confidence with public speaking.

She does suffer through some body confidence issues.  She was recently taking some medication that made her gain weight considerably.  She is now off that medication and she's looking for ways to lose some of that weight in a healthy way.

RatherBeReading
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM

I am Rebecca, and a mom of 3 daughters. They are 5, 9, and 10. We live in South Carolina.  We stress all the time about them being themselves, and not using the people they see on TV shows as what they should be like. I try to be open about everything, and I encourage them to come to me with any and all questions they have, no matter what it is about.  My oldest is very shy with this, but I hope as she grows, she will be more open. My middle daughter, however, is not shy one bit, and asks questions about everything. We currently homeschool, so they are not influenced by their peers as much as most preteens, thankfully.

KW1280
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
2 moms liked this
My baby is 18 and she is an awesome young lady. When she was younger she had a problem with her dark skin but I told her beauty comes in all shades. I also instilled "respecting her body" and that she defines who she is. We all want to look our best but we don't have to look like the models on TV magazines. I always tell superficial beauty fades but your character last a lifetime.
Bluetick
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
2 moms liked this
Living in the Appalachian mountains of NC a young girls self esteem and body confidence mean a lot!! My daughter had a lot of problems with bullies at school mainly because she is evolving into a young women with curves - lots of curves! She is a upcoming 7 th grader and 12 years old the school kids teased her so bad every day was a battle! I could tell her self esteem was really just shot! I remind her all people are diffrent and she should think of her body as a prized temple beautiful and unique. She had a very hard time keeping friends from the girl drama and all the boys wanted to date her, this was becoming a huge problem!! With no help from school staff to keep the bullies to a minimum I felt it was up to me.... I have pulled her from school now and I remind her on a daily basis that she is cute, pretty, wonderful and a pleasure to be around. Also to boost her confidence a little more I took her to get her hair done and treated her to a facial. Her self esteem and body confidence is still fragile but they are getting better. Can't wait for dove to give me new ideas !!!
AML5577
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi everyone! My name is Annette and I'm a 36 year old stay-at-home mom in Ann Arbor, Michigan (Go Blue!). I have 3 kids - one of which is my 10 year old daughter. She'll be starting 5th grade in the fall.

We are very close as she was an only child for 8 years before my husband and step-son came into our lives. We did everything together and we're still close because of that. We can talk about practically anything, and I love that!

We talk about self-esteem quite frequently because her school is really proactive with bullying. We talk about how what you feel is most important. Not what your friends think, or what TV/magazines tell you. It's how you feel on the inside. Love who you are, be you!

Body confidence is feeling confident and loving who you are, no matter what size you are. My daughter is on the thin side and I'm on the heavier side, I show her first hand that even though I'm larger, I'm a happy person. I love and feel loved in return, it's possible at ANY size.

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

justcyarra
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I had my daughter when I was 17, so we kind of "grew Up" together. she is now 15, and soon to be a sophmore in high school, and we have the best relationship a mother and daughter could possibly have. she tells me everything. I have explained to her that beauty is what is inside. you can be the prettiest person ever but if you have an ugly heart you will be seen as ugly. She has very high self esteem

chattycassie
by Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 My name is Cassandra and I have three daughters. Today however the focus is on my 14 y/o. Her name is Angelica and she will be started high school this fall. She is a smart and full of vinegar. J We live in the HOT Phoenix AZ. My daughter and I have a great relationship, she tells me most everything, and we talk often about self esteem and body confidence. This age is a tender one with moving to a new school and being with new peers. She does sometimes struggle with body as well as identity issues. She thinks she is too thin not curvy enough, and that the other girls have bigger boobs buts ect. We talk a lot about being independent and not always following the “social norms” how it is better to be an independent thinker than to let society shape how you feel about yourself. I remind her everyday that beauty true beauty comes from the inside. No matter what you do with your outside if your inside is ugly that is all that someone will see.

motherslove82
by Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM

I have 3 daughters, 2 of them are within the age limits.

Savannah is (almost) 12 years old (on July 6). She is going into the 6th grade. She's out going and friendly, my little "social butterfly'. We have a good relationship. She talks to me about any thing and everything - boys, breasts, periods, friends and friend drama. LOL. I don't know that I've ever discussed self-esteem or body image with her specifically, but I tell her she's beautiful and smart. She was held back a grade and she struggles with that. She thinks it means that she is stupid, even though she is doing great now. We talk about that a lot and I try to reassure her that she is not stupid. 

Bethanie is 10 years old and she is going into the 4th grade. She's more of a tomboy. We like to say that she marches to her own drummer and sometimes that makes it harder for her to make friends. She does get picked on at school sometimes and has made statements like "people need to realize that I am NOT Savannah". Apparently, her big sister has big shoes to fill at school. She is opposite of her sister in many ways, but she is brilliant in her own way and beautiful. I do worry about her self image issues. I feel like she defines her self (mostly by trying to do the opposite) by her sister in a lot of ways.  She's the one in the blue bathing suit.

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