I think that a person's self-esteem and a strong, positive sense of self grow largely from knowing, deep down, that they are good people, that they are loved, and that they are respected and admired for their qualities, thoughts, individuality and personality. In addition to loving, admiring and respecting your daughters, teach them to love who they are, and help them to see all their own positive attributes by pointing them out to them, often, so that they have many great reasons to feel good about themselves, and to become self-confident. Remind your daughters of all their achievements, big and small, like wining games in sports, being a great friend or team player, doing well in a certain area of school, or even just overcoming some previous fears or failures and trying new things....
Each of the important milestones and accomplishments in their lives outline who they are and how great they are, but it's easy for a kid to lose sight of their own successes, and to focus instead more on failures and frustrations, which leads to feelings of insecurity and doubt, or even shame or fear, as they grow.
In addition to reminding your girls how great they are, let them overhear you tell others about some impressive or important things they have tried and accomplished, or new things they have learned , or even just how proud you are of their personality traits, their sense of humour, or of responsibility, of the way they are growing and who they are becoming. Even if they are not doing those things all the time, if they overhear you "gossiping" about them, they will know you are sincerely proud and really have noticed their efforts and growth, and it will encourage them tremendously to continue on the right path, and to stay strong and believe in themselves.
What do you point out to your girls to help them gain self-confidence?
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