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How do you deal with meltdowns?

Posted by on Sep. 11, 2013 at 8:38 AM
  • 10 Replies


by on Sep. 11, 2013 at 8:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Roo1234
by Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 12:27 PM

Empathy. 

Punishing or trying to reason with anyone who is that upset, is pointless and frustrating.  

My first goal is always to make sure that they are safe, and then we work on calming down.  When they were little I would get down to their level and look them in the eye to make sure they were aware of me.  I then ask if I can touch.  I usually wrap my arms around the child and whisper simple instructions...let's take a deep breath together...etc.  Once they were calm I would LISTEN to why they were upset without talking, interrupting, etc.  By allowing the child to go first I 1) was a good example of how I wanted to be treated, and2)it also  allowed them to get it all out so that they would then focus on what I had to say.  Even better was that as we did this consistently, they learned the tools for calming themselves down and were soon less likely to have meltdowns unless they were overtired, hungry, etc.  

How that they are older, the look of a meltdown is different, but emotionally they still feel as overwhelmingly emotional and I do my best to address that before trying to reason with them.

abra
by on Sep. 11, 2013 at 4:30 PM

It depends on why they are having a meltdown. 

EbonySnow
by Bronze Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 5:04 PM

time out to calm down

sara_7106
by Bronze Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 11:36 PM
I agree


Quoting abra:

It depends on why they are having a meltdown. 


MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Sep. 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM

Ignore it if possible, time out and then talking about what happened after they have calmed down. 

KymberleeAnn
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 12:09 AM

This sounds fair and just.

Quoting Roo1234:

Empathy. 

Punishing or trying to reason with anyone who is that upset, is pointless and frustrating.  

My first goal is always to make sure that they are safe, and then we work on calming down.  When they were little I would get down to their level and look them in the eye to make sure they were aware of me.  I then ask if I can touch.  I usually wrap my arms around the child and whisper simple instructions...let's take a deep breath together...etc.  Once they were calm I would LISTEN to why they were upset without talking, interrupting, etc.  By allowing the child to go first I 1) was a good example of how I wanted to be treated, and2)it also  allowed them to get it all out so that they would then focus on what I had to say.  Even better was that as we did this consistently, they learned the tools for calming themselves down and were soon less likely to have meltdowns unless they were overtired, hungry, etc.  

How that they are older, the look of a meltdown is different, but emotionally they still feel as overwhelmingly emotional and I do my best to address that before trying to reason with them.


massenberg
by Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 4:58 PM

 I cant really say, i guess it all depends on the situation.

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 6:14 PM
Meltdowns happen for a variety of reasons. The first thing you should do is to make sure that no one is physically being hurt. Including the one having the meltdown. Secondly, put them in a calm quiet place where the quietness will overcome their meltdown and help them to come to grips and start calming down. Then. Once they have calmed down, talk to them about their deciding to meltdown and how they can come talk with you first., that just melting down is not the way to handle what they are feeling. Talk with them. ask them what, not why, it was that made them decide to meltdown in the first place. You want them to realize they are making decisions and how thise decisions can have consequences. bith positive and negative. this helos them to be aware and more responsible fir qhat they say and how they decide to act. Then, if consequences are needed, give them, making sure why the consequences are being given. Then move on. Do not drag out the meltdown or the talk afterwards. That just makes them feel like bad children. Even when we are trying to help. So, the best thing to do is just move on and go about your day/evening as usual. Repeat the same process as many times as need until they start to show responsible decision making skills.
angieluvsolivia
by Angie on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:43 PM

I am consistent because usually meltdowns come after I have given a punishment.  I do mirror her and tell her I understand that she's upset for whatever reason but, she made the choice to break the rules and she has to deal with the consequences.

Kmakksmom
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 6:32 PM

We don't punish meltdowns.  They happen.  We just sit with the meltdownee and wait it out.

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