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Overcoming Fear

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
  • 50 Replies

I wrote about fear in this blog a while ago, and I have noticed that that post has continued to draw many comments and readers to this day. This made me think more about ways for us moms to help our children deal with fear, overcome it, and feel more confident. Here are my additional thoughts:

First, when I think of fear and when I am frightened, I like to remember the quote of the late President FDR who said, in his first inaugural address to the nation: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." This is so true. After all, the feeling of fear does nothing for us. It does nothing to help us solve whatever issue we are dealing with; and nothing to stop the fearful events from happening. Fear is a primal, natural human emotion which, when we let it, greatly stunts us, deters all happiness, and crushes our confidence. Helping our daughters understand the nature fear, and become aware of where it comes from and what it does, is an important first step to learning how to deal with it better.

Dealing with fear means overcoming it, and there are many ways you can help your daughters do this. A good starting point is to give your kids the tools they need to calm their own bodies and minds when they feel fear taking over. Fear can make a person shake, their heart pound, their body sweat, their head swirl. Taking deep, deep breaths, even just 5 of them, is a quick, easy way to stop many of these physiological changes and reverse them by bringing oxygen back through their body and brain, slowing their heart rate a bit, and making their minds focus on something good and calm (breathing) instead of staying only focused on fear. Aside from breathing, a person can use a happy image, color, thought or saying and conjure it in their mind when they need a moment of calm, and joy, to counterbalance overwhelming feelings of fear.

Roll-play or practice is another great way to help a kid deal with and even avoid feeling fear, before it happens. If your child is anxious about a big test, for instance, encouraging them to study and do practice tests will help them feel better prepared, more familiar with the test and topic, more self-confident, and less nervous the day of the test. Similarly, roll-playing with your daughters how to talk back to a bully, or handle an interview, and communicate calmly and firmly in a difficult situation, will help them feel better prepared and much more confident when they are faced with those potentially scary scenarios alone.

How do you help your daughters overcome fear, and regain confidence?

© iStockphoto.com/raywoo  

by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
matt_sara_mom
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 7:54 AM
1 mom liked this

We talk everything out. She gets one on one and girly time with me as well.

4kidz916
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:44 AM

Lots of communication and encouragement. 

RobynS
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:44 AM
1 mom liked this

You know what? At the moment, there really isn't much that DD fears. Sometimes she pretends to be scared, just for attention (lately when her brother jumps out and yells "boo" at her, she acts all dramatic as if it was terrifying), but I can't really think of anything she's truly afraid of!

That scares me...

elasmimi
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this

We don't push. We empathize, but most children's fears go away on their own in time.

ceciliam
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Same for us. I just recognize the fear and try not to turn it into a big deal.

Quoting elasmimi:

We don't push. We empathize, but most children's fears go away on their own in time.



Leelee1008
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

by constantly telling her she can do it.. I also have to display courage myself.

Madelaine
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Lots of talking and encouragement.

Desirae1394
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 12:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Oddly enough my oldest quoted that today! Lol 

Desirae1394
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 12:08 PM
1 mom liked this

My daughter is only a year, so the only thing she seems to fear is Momma leaving lol 

My boys, however, are older and therefore deal with fear. We are very open with them and talk things out. We talk about being aware and prepared but not being overwhelmed by fear of real things. We validate their irrational fears and try to help them through it. 

Kmakksmom
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 1:19 PM
Communication!! Our girls talk to us all the time about everything. We have very open relationships. They can talk to us anytime about anything.
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