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How do I make him understand . . .

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 1:33 PM
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that it isn't a personal thing against him that baby won't take a bottle? I can't really leave him alone with her for 5 hours cause they both just get frustrated. He legitimately thinks she hates him. I tried telling him that she is whiny at me too.  Oh, and she pushes out anything but my nipple with the tongue thrust reflex (haven't tried a spoon with bm slushie yet) including toys. can't take a paci very well either, though she did once.


by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 1:33 PM
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Replies (1-8):
aehanrahan
by Group Admin on Jul. 17, 2012 at 3:23 PM
What else does he do with her? Does he do diaper changes, baths, rocking, etc.? He was gone in the beginning and she has to get to know him.
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MonicaV1982
by Group Owner on Jul. 17, 2012 at 4:09 PM

diapers, some baths (he can't feel temp well), wears her in the moby. he expects too fast for her to stop crying. he also is not understanding when I tell him to be more gentle with her. he's like bam bam from the flinstones.


Quoting aehanrahan:

What else does he do with her? Does he do diaper changes, baths, rocking, etc.? He was gone in the beginning and she has to get to know him.


sreichelt26
by Group Admin on Jul. 17, 2012 at 4:29 PM

I don't know, hun. You know we had the same issues with bottles and pacis, but dh never took it personally. I guess you just have to keep reminding him. Are there any other couples around with little babies? Maybe he just needs to be around other dads.

aehanrahan
by Group Admin on Jul. 17, 2012 at 4:46 PM
Maybe find him an article or something about how dads can bond with the baby. Maggiemom2000 posts one in the other group all the time. It is a good one. I believe that there is a stir one by Christie Haskell as well.
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MonicaV1982
by Group Owner on Jul. 17, 2012 at 5:15 PM

I've sent him tons of articles and read them aloud, too. He believes me, but he's still offended. He also thinks she doesn't like him cause she cries at him sometimes.

Quoting aehanrahan:

Maybe find him an article or something about how dads can bond with the baby. Maggiemom2000 posts one in the other group all the time. It is a good one. I believe that there is a stir one by Christie Haskell as well.


aehanrahan
by Group Admin on Jul. 17, 2012 at 7:25 PM
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My ex thought that Johnathan hated him because he always cried when he had him, but he never made the effort to figure out how to comfort and soothe him on his own. I couldn't even get through a shower without him bringing the baby back to me before I was done. I usually still had shampoo in my hair by that time. : /

I gave him suggestions all the time, but he expected it to be easy like it was with Andrew. Andrew was a Daddy's boy before he was born. He would move to his hand whenever he touoched my belly and loved being held by and sleeping with his dad. Mark could just hold Andrew while he played his computer games, but Johnathan was different and needed different things. He just didn't take the time to learn.

amgrays
by Group Admin on Jul. 18, 2012 at 9:12 AM

We struggled with that and it was really hard because I was already exhausted and I wanted him to hold the baby, but the baby only wanted me. Will she take the bottle when you're not around? I found if I'm not in the house he takes it much better.

It took until Anthony was about 6 months and able to actually play for his dad to begin to feel more involved. It's still frustrating because when Anthony wants me my husband will make comments like, "Why do you always want the mama?"

MonicaV1982
by Group Owner on Jul. 18, 2012 at 10:31 AM

no she won't. she pushes everything out with her tongue and just licks at it.

Quoting amgrays:

We struggled with that and it was really hard because I was already exhausted and I wanted him to hold the baby, but the baby only wanted me. Will she take the bottle when you're not around? I found if I'm not in the house he takes it much better.

It took until Anthony was about 6 months and able to actually play for his dad to begin to feel more involved. It's still frustrating because when Anthony wants me my husband will make comments like, "Why do you always want the mama?"


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