My son was born on the 29th. My water broke and nothing happened, just like last time. I had to be induced again. I know labor doesnt always go as planned, but I really didn't want the exact same disappointment I had last time. I didn't feel as strong and labor seemed harder than last time. By the time I was ready to push I was DONE! I pushed him out in 3 minutes.
He seemed fine at first. He was 3 days shy of 37weeks. But after they cut his cord he started to decline. They took him from me and went to check him. He coded. Right there in front of my hubby and I. Thankfully my midwife, name Angel how fitting, immediately started chest compressions. The nicu team raced in. It was so scary. They got him stable and took him to the nicu.
His lungs were a little underdeveloped and he had lots of fluid in his lungs. He ended up with pneumonia. It was a full week before he ever opened his eyes for us. He was just so sick. Today is day 9 and he is making great improvements. He was on a ventilator for awhile but has now graduated to just a little oxygen. He even got to try nursing today. Didn't go as well as I wanted it to tho.
He just needs to eat and breathe on his own. We are so close, he has come so far. But I just feel spent.
I have only seen my daughter for 4 hours in 9 days. I miss her. I am tired of spending 8-10 hours at the hospital most of which is by myself. My hubby is doing great and being helpful but hasnt had much time off.
The hospital seemed so helpful and supportive at first. But now that he is doing better they don't seem to be as much. My parent's seems less supportive too. Maybe because my step grandpa is dying. (One more stress, I am so worried about how I am going to go to a funeral 3 hours away.)
When my daughter was born my ex hubby and I separated then divorced. I was going thru so much I felt like I missed out on her newborn phase. I was SO looking forward to enjoying my son's new born phase. He will most likely be our last. Especially after the scare he gave us! Now I feel I have missed most of his first week. I am heartbroken.
I just need to find the strength to get through the next little bit. I know I will find it somehow. I just needed to complain. I don't like showing my weakness, except to my hubby.
I am going to try and get some extra sleep. I have a long day of trying to get baby to nurse ahead of me tomorrow! Thanks for listening.
Oh and we named him Ash Orion. He was 6lbs 12oz and 20 inches. He is handsome. Looks a lot like his daddy. (Who is amazing with him!)
I can't wait until the 4 of us can finally be together!